"Where My Demons
Hide"
Written By: Diana
Lua
Disclaimer: I don't own
Gundam Wing and I don't make any money with this. It's just a work
for fans and for fun.
Pairings: 1x2x1, 13x5; Background
pairing: 4x3x4, Solox2, 6+2, 9+6, H+2, R+1, S+5 and maybe more…
Warnings: AU, Yaoi, SLASH,
NC-17, alternating POVs; - Mainly a romance, drama with lots of angst
and some action;
- Time: some fictional medieval
age, nearly the 10th century (without technology nor gundams);
- Place: Earth with fictional context (not really caring about the
real History);
- Supernatural contents (demons, angels and dragons).
- Some magic like seals, curses and spells (the 'Crimson Spell' kind,
nothing like 'Harry Potter' things);
Rating: NC 17
Summary: Being captivated
by a strong and devastatingly beautiful demon, that was captured very
wounded, was just the start of the changes in Lord Heero Yuy's life.
The implications of relating with the creature were as dangerous and
revealing about things in the world that he had never before dreamed.
"Where
My Demons Hide"
07.
Sentenced
(Duo's
POV)
"Don't
get too close
It's
dark inside
It's
where my demons hide
It's
where my demons hide"
I
woke disoriented by confusing, painful dreams; images of a forgotten
very old past mixed with my recent life in hell. It'd been awhile
since I dreamed like this; awhile since I actually dreamed at all.
I couldn't exactly remember much more than distorted images, but my
guts were twisted, breathing hard and my eyes were burning because
of the tears that I wouldn't allow to fall.
It
took me a moment to realize where I was. I needed to squeeze my eyes
shut hard, pushing the damned tears back inside my broken soul where
they belonged.
Against
all odds, it was surprisingly comforting find the warm weight over
my chest; it took all I had to not draw him more over me, embracing
him tight, finding some shelter inside his arms. It's amusing that
one weak human could make me feel like that, but I knew better than
that: it wasn't tied with the physical strength, it's much deeper,
inside my needy forsaken heart.
That
man... I still didn't completely understand him. He was a 'lord',
whatever that title meant among the humans, and a demon hunter, even
so he was somewhat pulled to me. He had trusted me since the very
beginning, had saved my life, putting his own in my hands quite faithfully,
and I hadn't even used the blinding[12] on
him. And then, he did it again, for the sake of just making me feel
better. How could he trust me that much? How could he have those feelings
for me so quickly? Are they even real? Or just my own mind wanting
to have it again?
He
was deeply asleep, face relaxed, constant breath touching my skin;
seen now, his hair that should be a mess after all we did last night,
but appeared be just tousled in a sexy way that suited him a lot.
I had vaguely noticed before, he was quite exotic with that Asian
heritage contrasting with indigo eyes; I probably was just to overwhelmed
to... appreciate it sooner. There weren't dark circles in his
eyes, nor sign of fatigue, and for that I was glad, once I had been
careful on drinking from him the second time.
I
needed to admit that, besides there was no real need for it, I was
feeling a lot better. I needed to admit that it would be just easier
if he had given me back my blade, but then... I would have just
gone away and we... Not that there could be any chance that this goes
any further. At least I was able to remember a bit of who I was one
day. And I never was the type to take the easy path.
It
was bittersweet. I was running and hiding for so long that I had forgotten
how to feel. Now it seemed like I was waking up, like removing the
numbness which had been over my whole body, like getting out of a
gray place filled with just sadness and regret, to that hint of something
good. On the other hand... it was a really painful reminder of what
I lost... even more by knowing that I would never have it back again.
I
carefully detangled our bodies and climbed out the bed. He shivered,
grabbing the pillow, but did not wake up. I went to feed the fire,
it was dying and I didn't want him feeling cold, even if it was inevitable
without the contact with my body, before walking to the bath chamber,
satisfied to be able to walk on my own again. The water there was
icy cold, but I didn't care, I could clean myself and remove the dirty
bandages from my leg because, of course, our activity from the night
had caused it to bleed again.
I
put back the loose pants that I had been using, and was wondering
about removing or not the bandages that were wrapped around my abs,
holding my wing steady, when I noticed someone coming through the
hallway.
It
was amusing the fact that I knew right away who it was. If the angry
feeling hadn't given him away, the swearing in Chinese, just after
the sound of the door opening in the other room, had.
I
just stayed still; he left and then came back, kept cursing me in
his mother language, that for me wasn't any trouble to understand
anyway. He was upset and irritated, and I was kind of expecting him
to come look for me. So, it wasn't any surprise to see him entering,
but, even though he was holding his sword up when he walked in, I
could see in his eyes that he wasn't really expecting to find me there.
The
surprise oozed fast, being replaced with a mix of confused feelings;
it took just a second for him make up his mind, changing his attitude
for a grumpy and arrogant one, firmly stepping inside and closing
the door at his back.
"I
need to admit that you have guts."
I
smirked in his direction, facing his cold gaze that obviously didn't
have any effect on me.
"Why
are you still here?"
He
asked, his dark gaze heavy, analyzing me. Even with the hint of irritation
in his voice, he kept his tone low, which meant that Heero still slept
and whatever he wanted to tell me, he didn't want his lord hearing.
"Answer
me!" he demanded, and I just hardened my eyes, crossing my arms
in front of my chest. I was a little pissed with his attitude, a little
pissed with myself too, because deep down I knew I shouldn't stay
here anymore. "What do you want from him after all?"
"What I want?
Isn't he the one keeping me here?" I could try to just blind
him, but my curiosity toward his bold behavior was taking over me,
even if I was risking being really pissed off, why not poke a stick
at it? It wasn't like his bite could do some damage to me.
"Are
you saying that he is 'keeping' you against your will?"
But,
someway, that impertinent guy was really good at pushing all my wrong
buttons. I didn't answer, but chewed this bitter on my tongue, because
he was so damn right, they couldn't keep me against my will. And the
motives for me staying were... just selfish.
He
was an impatient man, with no fear for actually upsetting me, and
kept pushing. "Just blood wasn't enough? You needed to have some...
fun too?"
"This
is none of your business."
"Wrong!"
he stepped forward and straightened his curved sword, pointing it
at my neck. "You hurt him... again!"
"Nothing
against his own will..." I flashed a small smirk, on purpose,
knowing that would really raise his anger, though it was totally true
anyway. Heero had given me the blood, he wanted to give it to me,
so, what was the problem that I had accepted it?
Like
I was expecting, the grip on his sword faltered for a heartbeat, shocked
with my words, and then the room was filled with pure rage. He gathered
himself and dared to step further, defiant.
"You
foul beast... you would be dead if wasn't for him. How could
you harm him like that?"
For
sure, I did not need him reminding me of that. Even if I hadn't asked
for it, it's not that I wasn't grateful, but this was also none of
his business. He was crossing the line he should stay behind for his
safety; knowing what they knew about me, it surprised me that he thought
that he could threaten me like that. Although I have no intention,
since the very beginning, of harming these humans, I also wouldn't
allow this kind of crap.
"This
is the second time you threaten me..." and I was the one that
stepped forward, let his sword come inside my personal space, almost
touching my neck. His eyes were wide open, but he didn't falter with
his hold.
"This
is the second time that you hur-"
I
didn't let him finish, grabbed his hand and pushed him to the wall
behind with the other. It was so fast that he didn't have time to
blink, the dry 'thud' of his back against the stones was followed
by a gasp of the air leaving his lungs. "Just because you are
Heero's underling, I will give you one last chance. The next time
you think about it... better be truly prepared to confront me."
His
agape mouth said nothing, still too surprised from not having seen
me moving. I brought the sword near my face, by the hand that I was
holding, and licked it. There was a tingling, a small burning sensation,
just like I had expected because of the smell I had sensed.
"Dragon
blood..." I whispered and noticed the surprise and a hint
of... fear coming from him, finally something causing this reaction
on him, yet I wasn't sure what had caused it. "If you think that
this can do some damage to me... better you seriously reconsider
your... attitude." I released his hand, and before he could react,
I held his blade in the middle with my fingers and just broke it.
Then, there was no more rage in the room, just shock and surprise;
I suppose that was the right reaction after seeing me breaking the
sword like a stick just like that. I hurled the point part in the
wall next to his head, piercing it deep in between the rocks. The
burning in my skin was very low, maybe that would work very well with
the ordinary demons that he was used to fighting with, but it was
too weak for me.
"Heero's
underling or not, I won't let another threat without a proper response."
I
turned my back and walked away from him. Took a long moment for him
to gather himself and between all things that I could be expecting,
he caught me by surprise.
"I'm
no one's underling."
I
saw the pride even in his voice. So it wasn't by chance that he had
such an amount of liberty to talk with Heero then. I turned to look
at him; he seemed a bit lost, making no real effort to try to take
the blade's piece off the wall, knowing that he couldn't.
"Heero
is my friend, I'm worried about him..."
"No
need..." Independent of my wants, the reality was that I
must leave, as quick as possible. I didn't care about putting him
at ease, even so, "I'm leaving soon."
"Because
of that..." he started, but the words died in his throat,
I could figure out some angst, some regret, some care, but wasn't
able to sort his feelings right. He turned to face me, looking straight
with those defiant black eyes of his. "Even you can let him go
that easy..." he tried again, but still uncannily holding
it back.
He
shrugged giving up, walked past me, toward the door that lead to the
hallway, not the one that he entered. I thought that he was just going
away, but he stopped, the door handle in hand, and said low and serious,
"You know he is ... head over heels for you, don't you?"
I
didn't answer other than nod, just because there was something more
that just made me curious, something deep mixed in his feelings that
I couldn't sort out.
"He
is an idiot..." he said almost just for himself, but then he
looked at me fiercely. "Show some respect and stop raising his
hopes..."
"I'm
raising nothing..."
"Yes,
you are, while you're staying and letting yourself... be involved,
you are!" He said with that arrogant tone and just stepped out
and away, closing the door, leaving me speechless staring at it. So
impertinent.
Shit,
that mother fucker was right. So damn right that he got under my nerves,
got underneath my skin. What was I fucking doing here? I shouldn't
be here, I shouldn't have let this come so far, I shouldn't...
so many things that I couldn't even name. If it wasn't for that promise
made so long ago... I shouldn't even being existing anymore.
I
heard a sound coming from the other room, it broke my lethargy. When
I stepped in there, Heero was awake and looked straight to me with
wide eyes; he had his shirt in place, half getting inside his pants;
the thick blanket a tangled mess on the mattress, a tray of food sitting
on the bench and a couple of buckets with hot water. Hell, no one
could say that insolent Chinese wasn't... attentive.
"Duo?"
he came toward me, showing worry and confusion in his deep blue eyes.
I couldn't help noticing that he was a bit taller than me, maybe an
inch or two, just very little; it was noticeable just now that both
were standing straight like that. "What happened?"
He
was full of doubts and oddly uncertain about how to act around me;
he raised a hand, but retracted it back before touching me, and I
had to suppress showing that I wanted his touch.
"The
water is hot, go clean yourself before it gets cold..."
I
turned my back to him, looking out the window not giving him much
room. He stayed still for a moment, his uncertainties grew, but he
chose to take one bucket and walked inside the bath chamber. He left
the door cracked open and I heard a small gasp; he had faced the broken
blade buried on the wall.
I
tried to focus on the blue sky, an old remembrance of a time that
I used to appreciate the sun rising; I had just lost it anyway. I
just stayed there, in front the narrow barred window thinking nothing
while hearing the sounds from the other room. It was fifth day that
I was there, in his castle, under his care, under his trust, which
I really didn't know how I gained in first place. It was already too
much time. I had been brought, dragged there with a big fuss...
I had no idea how or what kind of rumors had spread about me; I should
expect the worst. I should walk away without looking back.
And
that was just so damn hard to do. We are already bound in some inexplicable
way that I'm not sure if I wanted to, or should, understand.
"Your
leg looks fine... and the wing?" he said behind me, his
hand lightly touching the feathers of my broken wing. With the confusion
before I had forgotten about the bandages. "Not yet."
"You
look better..."
"I
am." I tilted my head to shoot him a sideways look from behind
my bangs and felt some of his apprehension vanishing. "Thanks."
"Well,
maybe..." he started, his hand lingering over my arm.
"No."
I didn't let him continue, knowing about what he was thinking. "That
was more than enough, your body needs time to recover your blood.
A couple of months, at least."
He
looked a bit confused, but took my word; wise, once I had much more
knowledge than him. I could see all signs of him looking for something
that could be used as an excuse for me to stay, and I was damned if
I wasn't too.
"You
need to get back some strength already." I pointed to the food;
looked like he hadn't noticed it before, and his stomach found that
time to agreed with me. He walked there, trying to hide his embarrassment,
taking it to the bed and started to eat with very polite manners.
I was sure that he was forcing himself to not just wolf it down; he
should be starving after spending all afternoon and night with me
without eating anything and, also, having me drink him.
I
stood there looking at him. He turned his eyes to me offering a slice
of something white and soft, just being polite because he knew that
I didn't need food; though I probably could eat and taste it, I had
never tried.
I
smiled and refused. That Chang guy was right, I shouldn't raise his...
expectations anymore, but just the way he had to look at me... it
made me want things that I didn't deserve to have. I walked and sat
on the mattress in front of him, the tray of food between us.
"You
know I'm going now..."
"But
your wing..."
"I
can walk."
"You
could..." he did not finish, not really needing, I knew how he
desired ask me to stay. And fuck, to be honest, I wanted to stay.
"No,
I can't. Neither of us will be safe..."
He
was puzzled, concerned about something that he didn't dare say out
loud. He wanted to ask many questions and just couldn't sort which.
"But... I..." he bit his lower lip not able to
find something to say.
"Thought
that you were done with imprisoning me?" I said joking in an
arrogant tone, but he took it to heart.
"Do
you feel imprisoned?"
"Don't
I?"
"You
are my guest."
The
last sentence came with a little hint of hurt in his voice, and I
couldn't keep my arrogant tone or the jester face, I touched his chin,
tilting it to face me, saying softly, "For what I know, guests
can leave whenever they want."
"You
can. It's just... until last night you barely could walk." He
touched his wrist absently, unconsciously rounding the marks. "The
door is unlocked, not that it should be an obstacle if you really
wanted to go." He stood taking the tray out the bed to put back
at the bench and get back, standing in front of me, his hand came
to take one of mine, his fingers drawing circles on the palm. Had
some uncertainties, but was his feelings about me that were filling
all our surrounding, enveloping me like a nice and warm blanket. "Do
you want to go?"
I
couldn't help but pull him between my thighs and down to kiss him
fiercely.
"I
should want to." Shit.
...
Notes:
[12]
If someone missed it, Duo explains it in the 5th chapter for Heero.
It is a power that made the humans trust with no reason at all. I
can add now that it's a power that just angels and dragons have. Also,
dragons have an opposite power, that null the angel blinding.
~ * ~
Chapter 10
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