"Where My Demons
Hide"
Written By: Diana
Lua
Disclaimer: I don't own
Gundam Wing and I don't make any money with this. It's just a work
for fans and for fun.
Pairings: 1x2x1, 13x5; Background
pairing: 4x3x4, Solox2, 6+2, 9+6, H+2, R+1, S+5 and maybe more…
Warnings: AU, Yaoi, SLASH,
NC-17, alternating POVs; - Mainly a romance, drama with lots of angst
and some action;
- Time: some fictional medieval
age, nearly the 10th century (without technology nor gundams);
- Place: Earth with fictional context (not really caring about the
real History);
- Supernatural contents (demons, angels and dragons).
- Some magic like seals, curses and spells (the 'Crimson Spell' kind,
nothing like 'Harry Potter' things);
Rating: NC 17
Summary: Being captivated
by a strong and devastatingly beautiful demon, that was captured very
wounded, was just the start of the changes in Lord Heero Yuy's life.
The implications of relating with the creature were as dangerous and
revealing about things in the world that he had never before dreamed.
"Where
My Demons Hide"
06.
Feelings (continuation)
Despite
my concerns, he didn't say that name.
And despite my annoyance, I held still, serving as a pillow for him.
Staring
at the wall where the fireplace should be, it was so dark that I almost
couldn't see it, I kept stroking his hair as lightly as I could, not
really able to sleep even though my body was a bit weak.
In
my mind, my feelings were all mixed up. I'm not sure how we ended
up having sex; since he was so ready to get away; since just the day
before he was so angry when he had thought that all I wanted was to
'fuck' him; since it was pretty clear to me that was not about that.
The
only thing clear to me was that he had woke up in a different mood
after the afternoon sleep. And I really wanted to believe that was
because we felt closer after that episode with the healer; his behavior
after that was almost docile, maybe it was the tiredness, the stress,
the pain... I wanted it to be any of those things. What I didn't
want it to be was a result of whatever or whoever he had dreamed.
Warm
fingers found my chilly face and pulled me by my chin to face the
other side, "Hey... " Because the lack of light, his face
was covered by shadows, but I felt the weight of his staring "what's...
the matter?"
"I..."
didn't have a clue about what had woken him or what to tell him, "...
it's cold in here."
We
were so close that I could see him frown, and it was written all over
his face that he hadn't bought my excuse at all. Still, he took a
moment to release me, so I could get up and go to the fireplace. It
gave me some trouble to find the flintstone and dried turf [9] in
the dark and light up the fire, but I had no intention of calling
a servant to bring it [10].
So, by the time I got a steady flame, I was freezing and literally
ran back to the bed.
Duo
grabbed me laughing, holding and kissing me, letting all his body
hovering over mine while I shivered inside his arms. He even gathered
the sheet and pulled it over us.
"Better?"
he asked and I had to nod; not that the place was warmed that fast,
but having him like that, so... at ease, just made me feel good
because it seemed like I was able to make him feel good too.
Every
inch of my skin was seeking the warmth of his, and it was nice to
have an excuse to just keep him near. "You are hot." The
double meaning was purposeful and I was glad when he laughed, shifting
his body at my obvious attempt to grind our bodies together forgetting
for an instant about his injuries.
"Hell
blood benefits," he said, referring to his thick black demon
blood, that was a lot warmer than human blood.
"It's
nice."
"So...
will you tell me what was bothering you?"
He
had really noticed it, however, there was no way on Earth that I could
explain what my doubts were. "The cold..." I met his
eyes and he was again with that intent staring, like he was searching
for something. The weak illumination that the firelight offered making
difficult to read his expression.
I
was kind of surprised that he didn't push the matter and just kissed
me. "Still cold?"
"A
bit..."
"Then
I should warm you better..." He slid his lips until my neck
searching for the spot over my jugular, kissing there, then sucking
hard, making me feel my heartbeat beneath his lips. My skin there
still sensitive due to the bruises from before, and leaving no doubt
that a hickey would be added to the marks. Not that I cared.
With
his naked body willing, rubbing against mine the cold just disappeared.
Also, every uneasy thought disappeared as well when he kissed my mouth
again, slowly tangling his demanding tongue with mine. He pressed
his torso against mine, in a lingering way that made me forget everything
else. The only thing that mattered was that moment, his body and my
body, the heat between us.
I
embraced him, digging my fingers into his ribs, pulling him hard against
me, feeling the strong need to be with him, like a drowning man that
needs air. I had forgotten his injuries and he flinched but didn't
stop me. Our eyes met and he was smiling, with that sexy brightness
in his eyes, god he was just so... so much. "Want you...
all of you, Duo," I heard my voice saying on its own. I had no
intention of saying that, but when it came out I knew I meant every
word, actually I meant much more.
He
held my face, staring and deeply searching for something. The firelight
was letting his eyes darken, hidden by his bangs. Anxious, he kissed
me again, then grabbed the sides of my waist to turn me on my side
again.
Guess
that was the best position for his injuries, but I resisted, cupping
his face making him look at me. "Want to see you. Want you to
look into my eyes."
He
became serious for an instant; the expression on his face, the feeling
deep inside his eyes, unreadable.
I
let my fingers brush his long hair, the strands cascading over his
shoulder and back. I touched the feathers of his good wing, mesmerized
by the effect that the flickering firelight had in that dark softness,
the effect that the light had all over him. I couldn't believe that
I had such an amazing creature in my arms. Or better, that I was in
his arms.
He
took my hand and placed a kiss on the back, rising up from me and
moving to the corner of the bed bringing me by hand. He sat near enough
to the edge for the broken wing to drape over the side of the bed,
so it wouldn't be pressed. His leg was accommodated over the pillow
and he leaned against the headboard, sprawling the other wing over
the mattress; it was so long that the tip reached the far corner.
"Come
here..."
For
a demon, he had the most gentle expression in his eyes and I let him
pull me near until I was straddling his hips [11].
I blushed to the roots of my hair; being in that position seemed to
be a bit childish and I just felt embarrassed. I kissed him trying
to forget the discomfort and tried to find a better position for my
thigh; the cut from the last battle bothering me from being stretched.
I tried to arrange the bandage that had loosened a bit and choose
to ignore all of that, just because in that way I was able to see
his face, his incredible eyes, able to touch and kiss him as much
as I wanted.
"Let
me see..." he murmured inside my mouth, making me look at
him, not understanding. "You said that you want me to look inside
your eyes, then you need to show everything to me..." His
fingers traced my face, his eyes staring hard into me. I'm not sure,
but it seemed like he had some sort of... pain? longing?... in
his voice and inside his eyes.
"I..."
was confused, not quite understanding what he was asking in that so
affectionate way.
His
smile was tender when he placed a hand on my bare chest, "Here...
let me see what you are feeling..." It took me a moment
looking at his hand, warm and inoffensively resting just over my heart
with those black strong claws, wondering about what exactly he was
asking.
"You
already said you wanted me... so why are you still fighting against
this...?" he whispered so gently, nuzzling the shell of my ear;
I wasn't sure if I shivered at it or for the sound of his words. "Let
it go. Surrender to what you're feeling. Show it to me... please."
The
last word was so low that I couldn't tell if it was just my imagination
hearing it so full of need. But I finally understood what he was asking
me. I felt his feather kisses going down my neck, over my shoulder
and he buried his face there, letting his arms embrace me tightly,
his hands going up and down the line of my spine, warming my skin.
I had fallen hard for him, probably at the very moment that I put
my eyes on him, there was no reason to deny it, except that he was
a demon, except that he had refused me two days ago, except that he
was willing and ready to go just some hours before, in the afternoon.
I
had a strong feeling that I would be hurt at end of this. Even so,
it was already too late. Whatever his reasons were, I was already
too far down the rabbit hole to get out; the only thing that I could
do was keep going.
"Why?"
"'Cause
you want me see to it... and 'cause I need to see it...
again."
"Again?"
"It's
been a long, long time, Heero..."
He
looked up to find my eyes. His eyes looked intense and feverish in
a way that I couldn't understand. He cupped my face, pulling me in
for a kiss, a chaste kiss, just a brush of his warm lips, but there
were so much behind it. He was a creature that I wanted to decipher
and had no idea how.
I
did like he asked. I let go, stopped fighting, surrendered to him;
his reasons or all of his secrets didn't matter. I was deeply in love
with him, nothing could change it. It was a kind of release, letting
this sensation, these feelings, spread over my chest, over all my
body and inside my soul.
He
pulled me against him hard, holding me tight, his head perfectly fitting
below my chin, his good wing moving to circling us; it was incredible
feeling the shelter made by the soft black feathers.
Duo
shivered in our embrace and stayed there for a long moment, until
I tilted his face up, the expression there made me kiss him strongly
and passionately. That warm intimacy becoming something stronger,
I let my hands trail his skin so soft to the touch and so strong beneath.
I
wanted him so badly, especially feeling him like this... almost
open. We kissed and touched each other and it didn't take long until
we both were aroused again.
There
was no other word than affectionate to describe his expression. I
was kissing all his face and his neck, while he grabbed my hips and
pressed against me, our erections rubbing together. I was already
loose and wet from the round before, I used my fingers to do some
more stretching. His arm came around my waist, the metal of the armor
cooling the skin at the small of my back, he lifted me to position
himself. Then, held me, preventing me from taking him all at once.
He
filled me slow and easy, sliding with more delight; I was already
sensitive and the feeling was almost too much to bear.
I
squeezed my eyes shut, knowing that I was flushed red even in my neck
and chest. He gave me some time, holding and embracing me, making
me feel impossibly hot inside his arms. The only thought in my head
was that I never felt so good in my life. He was smiling against my
skin when he started making me move on his lap.
It
was a bit different from before, maybe it was the talking, maybe it
was that position, I didn't really know, but it seemed to be just
about feeling it, slow and passionate, drawing it out. About being
close, being with him, with his tender caressing, the breathless kisses.
With
his hands holding my waist, easing my weight, helping me with the
rolling motion of my hips, with my hands grabbing his shoulders, my
hard breathing, my eyes shut, I just didn't want it to end.
He
nipped my collarbone and I buried my hands in his thick hair pulling
his head back so I could look at his face. His beautiful perfect face,
with those big purple eyes glimmering with the firelight. I was so
lost and at the same time so found by being with him.
"Duo..."
I moaned his name and wanted to be able to voice what I was feeling,
but couldn't find the right words or enough brain cells to put it
together. "I..."
"I
know..." He kissed me, whispering in my mouth. I moaned
in his mouth, the kissing became sloppy because we were focused in
the rhythm that we had built. "I know..." he repeated
grabbing my hips hard, maybe a bit too hard. I sucked his lower lip,
he looked dazzling in that firelight, all flushed with that feverish
look inside his eyes.
"You
are so beautiful... feel so good."
"As
much as you..." he replied burying his face on my neck.
Shifting our position a little to relieve the weight on his right
leg. I wondered about his injuries, but then he was lying back, wrapping
his hand around my erection, pumping it hard; I groaned, feeling short
of breath. Our eyes were locked to each other when my body went rigid,
my mouth released a sob in the sound of his name while my seed was
released in the tunnel of his fingers. The tightening of my muscles
around him was the last thing missing to bring him to completion,
filling me with his essence.
We
were both breathless, my heart thumping inside my chest and when he
embraced me again I felt the echo of it inside his own. We just stayed
for a moment; I was overwhelmed by that completeness, knowing here
and now that I couldn't just let him go.
Duo
nuzzled and lazily kissed my shoulder, I was boneless laying against
him. Probably my weight was crushing his wounded wing against the
wood of the headboard, but when I tried to pull myself off, he held
me in place. "Stay... it's ok, just a bit more..."
I
would give him what he needs, everything he asks me, anything if he
just stays with me. There was no way that I could let him go after
that. I wanted him to not want to go anymore. "Did you..."
I wanted to know if something had changed in his mind, but hadn't
the courage to ask.
He
tilted his head, face flushed, lips red and swollen and kissed my
chin lightly. "I need to..."
My
heart squeezed, my arms tightening automatically around him. "How
do you always seemed to know what I'm thinking?"
He
was placing wet and lazy kisses on my neck, I felt the smile on his
lips. "Kind of intelligent guessing..."
"Hn...
so you can't read my mind?"
"I
can't. There aren't any beings that can do that... would be too
unfair to your fragile kind."
This
time, the 'fragile' thing hit too near the heart. I probably wasn't
good enough for him, still hurt me having him point it out and I stayed
silent, not sure what to do next.
"But
I can 'read' your feelings..."
It
took me a minute to understand, and I blushed harder; that sounded
worse than reading my thoughts. "H...how so?"
"Not
sure how to explain... it's part of my nature, handling energy.
So, I can see the energy that your feelings release... it's like
I could read them and that gives me a good idea about what you are
thinking. That's all, I can't really see what is inside your mind..."
"Is
this a Shinigami's power?"
"You
ask too much."
"Because
I want to know more about you, be close to you."
"You
are already pretty close," he said joking at the fact that he
was still inside me. And he was starting to move, but I didn't let
him.
"It's
not what I'm talking about... you know." I was holding his
chin, so I was sure that he was facing me. The mischievous glint disappeared
from his eyes when he understood how serious I was.
"You..."
he paused, "are the closest person I've had in... almost
three hundred years. You know more about me than you should, for your
own safety."
That,
actually, made me feel good, but, "Three hundred?"
"I'm
not exactly the friendly type..." he said trying again to
make things light. I let him and moved to finally let him slide out.
I flinched with the ache from the cut on my thigh. He also moved himself
uncomfortably, turning on his left side lying on the mattress, one
hand reaching toward the leg to try to find a better position.
I
cleaned myself and toss the sheet out thinking that I should ask for
blankets, but not in the middle of the night. I had no idea about
the hour, but it was deep in the night. I was glad that the room was
warmer, the fire still high. I leaned along him to feel his body heat,
noticed that his face was showing pain and tiredness.
I
was surprised when he pulled me to find that position that fitted
him so well in my arms. He kissed the bruises on my neck whispering,
"Sorry about that... I didn't mean to hurt you... I just..."
"It's
ok..." My fingers trailing up and down his arm, until finding
his hand and entwining our fingers; it really was, I didn't mind,
I wanted so much to take care of him. There was no way that I could
explain that need, maybe I just want to give him motives to stay.
"Bite."
It popped out of my mouth, surprising even me. "You're still
injured... let me help..."
His
lips stayed still on my skin, just in the right place over my jugular.
It took him a moment, and, then, his voice was firm and steady, "You
already have."
Our
eyes clashed, and I knew what I needed to do to make him understand,
to convince him. I just let out all my wanting, the need to make him
feel better, the protectiveness that I had over him. "Please...
my blood can make you feel better... let me do this, please,
Duo."
"It's
too soon, Heero..."
Probably
he was right, it was just last night; however, he had said that he
had drunk just enough to clear up the poison. There'd be no harm in
just a bit more. "I'm ok, there's not much that I can do for
you... but this, I can..."
He
looked at me, his eyes plain. "Please..." I whispered
the pleading over his lips and he buried his face on my neck again.
After just a heartbeat he started licking and kissing there again,
my heart was pounding in my chest when his arm around my waist straightened
and his lips press hard, open mouth. I closed my eyes feeling his
fangs breaking the skin, he didn't deepen the bite right down, as
he was still unsure. Then, I felt the pain and that hot wave spreading
really fast through my veins. I melted, relaxing in his arms, trusting
my life to him again, without hesitation.
Like
the other time, it ended quickly. I felt his hand pressing strongly
on the spot to stop the bleeding. I felt much alike: lightheaded like
I was in a dream. I didn't notice when he had moved us, and I found
myself lying in his arms instead, very conscious about our naked bodies.
I tilted my head until finding his mouth, thirsty for him and he let
me kiss him, kissing me back this time.
"You
need rest," he said, holding me and saying in an almost hypnotic
voice. I saw a warm smile on his face, "There, there... be good
and rest," and with some amusement treating me like a child again.
My
head was too foggy and my body lazy, so it was easy to obey. I felt
his lips on my forehead, "Sleep," he whispered warm over
my skin just before I slid into dreamland, all cozy in his arms.
"I
can't escape this now"
(TBC...)
Notes:
[9] Yes,
just like the boy scouts. :)
[10]
Because lightening fire was quite complicated, in the middle age usually
the fire were keep lit up all time and had someone to watch it. It
was carried from that main place to others by torches.
[11]
I have a new sketch with that scene :) think that one was quite good,
despite being defeated by Duo's wings and not drawing them yet...
so you can see it in the facebook public album, link on my profile.
# I
don't know if I can call lemon the sex in this part, ended much lighter
than I first wanted. The feelings are too much and I couldn't handle
with more description than that...
#
About comments... the truth is that they really help
(besides making me happy and to want to write more and more). Before,
I was completely unable to finish this one, and without the reviews
that I received I probably I would be still blocked. Appear that
my blockage was solved for now... but everything (really everything)
that you wanted to tell or ask me about this story will be very welcome!
:)
~ * ~
Chapter 9
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