"Where My Demons
Hide"
Written By: Diana
Lua
Disclaimer: I don't own
Gundam Wing and I don't make any money with this. It's just a work
for fans and for fun.
Pairings: 1x2x1, 13x5; Background
pairing: 4x3x4, Solox2, 6+2, 9+6, H+2, R+1, S+5 and maybe more
Warnings: AU, Yaoi, SLASH,
NC-17, alternating POVs; - Mainly a romance, drama with lots of angst
and some action;
- Time: some fictional medieval
age, nearly the 10th century (without technology nor gundams);
- Place: Earth with fictional context (not really caring about the
real History);
- Supernatural contents (demons, angels and dragons).
- Some magic like seals, curses and spells (the 'Crimson Spell' kind,
nothing like 'Harry Potter' things);
Rating: NC 17
Summary: Being captivated
by a strong and devastatingly beautiful demon, that was captured very
wounded, was just the start of the changes in Lord Heero Yuy's life.
The implications of relating with the creature were as dangerous and
revealing about things in the world that he had never before dreamed.
"Where
My Demons Hide"
02.
Wounds
(Duo's
POV)
"When
your dreams all fail
And
the ones we hail
Are
the worst of all
And
the blood's run stale"
When
I regained consciousness, the first thing I noticed was the pain.
I'm used to feeling it, but I've never had broken a wing before...
hurts like hell. For something made of feathers and hollow bones,
it is much too heavy to be sustained when the main bone is cracked;
I never was truly aware of that weight before.
My
eyes were heavy and my mouth cotton dry. I sensed that I was alone.
Not needing to worry about others around was just a small relief when
even the edges of my mind were too tired to think in straight lines.
I
don't know if it was just exhaustion of my body or something else.
Maybe just all of my essence was tired of existing in this world.
I haven't seen a point to it for a long, long time.
If
at least he hadn't forced me to make that promise at the end...
I
felt I had no place, on earth or even beneath it. And, being a demon,
of course not above it.
I
had nobody as well. Death is too close to me to spare anyone who dares
get close. I had nothing left but some memories, those that end in
pain, and an old sacred gift that I'm not allowed touch without burning
my skin. I don't even dare to dream anymore. All dreams I had eventually
come to fail. Maybe I'm not allowed to have them at all, never had.
There
was no day when I'm not asking myself about a reason to still be alive.
Doesn't matter how much I try to reach this answer, it was stuck on
the horizon... Out running my seeking fingers at each step I
take.
I
lived so many days, years, decades, centuries... seems like I
felt that way since the beginning of time. But I knew, even though
those memories were so distant now, there was a time that I felt different.
There was a time that someone brought that horizon to me...
The
pain in my wing was too much. I needed to move myself, try to find
a better position. I was completely laid on my stomach on a freezing
stoned floor.
I
wasn't surprised to be in a different place after being drugged. But
I was surprised to be in a clean place. There were some traces of
my running blood on the stones, but nevertheless still clean and empty
of dirty and old miscellany like the dungeons that I've seen before.
It also didn't smell like those labs where the humans usually keep
the sort of supernatural things to make potions and weapons. Actually,
it's some kind of bathroom, with a big tub full of water and not at
all like a place to keep a demon in.
That
made me think about what they want from me.
I
found myself oddly a bit cleaner too. My right leg was broken in a
big fracture with the bone exposed through the muscles and skin; now
my pants were cut under the knee, showing that the bone was set, the
lacerated skin clean and bandage tied strongly.
The
burns on my skin, especially those caused by the holy water thrown
on me, were covered by a kind of yellow cream. The scratches on my
face and arms were cleaned of dirty and stale blood. And even my wings...
they were damp like they had been washed.
All
that was very, very odd. I was so sure that those men were just looking
for a way to kill me. So, why all this caring about my wounds?
I
was feeling unkempt wearing my claw slashed pants and the rest of
my leather pectoral harness that was just holding itself on by a few
straps.
Also,
my wing was still hanging loose on my back and I didn't have any idea
about what to do to make it better. Probably not able to do anything
by myself. The fracture was in the first main bone near my scapula
and I barely could see the wound.
There
were some rags on the tub's rim. The water was cold, but it would
be better to finish cleaning myself... I had no idea what would
come next, better not to even think about...
I
learned the hard way that it is better to not start suffering inside
your head before the genuine thing starts for real. It was just difficult
to convince my brain to stop the wheels spinning hard like now.
Doing
something about my long hair was a bit of work. Getting out the rest
of the dried blood and who knows what else that was caught in it made
me dizzy. My sight blurred and I needed some minutes to rest, letting
my head lay on the side of the tub.
If
I had my blade, the source of my power, I could heal myself so quickly
that I wouldn't even notice all this torturous pain. But the demon
I was fighting was quite powerful, and he knew how to break the connection
with my scythe and I ended losing it. He was bigger and stronger,
but I was faster and smarter. It was tough and when I finally turned
him into ashes I just thought I would die slowly.
Until
being found by these humans.
I
was exceedingly weak now, but that didn't mean that I couldn't beat
every one of them, or all at once. I could when they found me and
I still could now.
I
opened my eyes again to find some clothes folded behind the rags that
I didn't see before. There is a loose pair of pants. I was relieved
to tear off the rest of what I was wearing, even though it was awkward
to think that was left there on purpose for me.
I
freed myself of the rest of my ruined armor too, carefully taking
off a small leather package and putting it inside the pocket of my
new pants. This was my only treasure.
With
my chest bare, I could see the big cut on my ribs that had been bugging
me a lot. It went from my upper rib until my waist, being deeper on
the end. It was fully covered by my dried black blood. And had the
tip of the other demon's blade inside my flesh.
Even
carefully, when I removed the blood's crust more came out. That made
me rethink if touching in there was a good idea. When I reached the
piece of metal in there, the pain made me see stars... and my
head became weak. I didn't want to, but I knew I was slipping to the
sleeping land again.
(...)
For
the second time that I woke, if possible, I was feeling even worse.
Exhausted wasn't enough to describe me. My mind was blurred and had
some strange burning sensation on the edges of my body.
The
room now was fully lightened by morning. There were windows tall and
narrow blocked with iron bars, I didn't notice those before. An easy
way to escape, just needed to break the bars. However, from the light
position, this room was not located on the ground, I probably would
find some height. That made things difficult when you are not able
to jump or fly.
I
was not even sure if I could manage to walk. My leg was wrapped now,
but I didn't think that would be enough to support me with that fracture.
My
instincts started screaming when I heard steps near the door. I should
have heard it before being so close. I tried to move fast and the
pain hit me like a hammer. I looked for ways out or wherever I could
use for shelter. It was a small room, so I didn't have a lot of choices.
Just hoped that they really didn't try anything.
The
steps stopped but, before the door was opened, I heard another person
rushing and some kind of discussion began.
"What
the fuck are you doing?" one angry voice shouted. "I made
those tranquilizers thinking you wanted to keep the creature down
until we find a way to get rid of it..."
So,
homemade tranquilizers. That could explain the dizziness that I was
feeling, if they didn't know what they were doing. Besides, I'm not
a common demon anyway, that means unknown side effects.
"That
is what I asked for," the answer came from a calm low voice.
I could tell this one was standing in front of the door. There was
a silence between them. I couldn't say for sure, but it had an odd
feeling to it.
"But
instead, you took care of its wounds, you freed it off the chain and
brought it to a room inside your castle. Are you out of your mind!?"
"It
was too injured. I couldn't leave it there..."
"Are
you hearing yourself?" That one was not shouting anymore, but
the voice was truly worried. Should be good that they feared me, even
in my poor conditions.
"Wufei,
it isn't a common demon. You saw its appearance?" Shit. What
did that mean? Easy to say I hadn't a demon's appearance, but humans
normally just assume that I was a never seen before kind. Not that
I let myself been seeing a lot. I avoid as much as I could get out
of hell.
"No,
I didn't see it yet. But I saw the damage that it left behind. It's
a fucking really strong one. What will you do when it wakes up and
decide that it's time to go and kill us all?"
That
was a reasonable thought, something they should expect from a demon.
So maybe they didn't try to do anything stupid that makes me...
"It
won't!"
The
answer came so fast and sounded so sure that made me shiver. Or maybe
I was shivering because the rib cut that was aching and bleeding again.
What the fuck did this one near the door think he knows about me to
say that with so much conviction.
"Look,
Chang, I know how strong it is even so wounded, but he deliberately
didn't hurt any of our men. So it probably would not..."
"Deliberately?"
The
tone was incredulous and the other snorted clearly annoyed with the
questioning.
"I
made a decision. It's done. I will shoulder the risks."
"Will
you? Can you shoulder the risks by yourself? What make you think you
can defeat or stop it if you're wrong?"
"I
don't believe it will do something against us." That wasn't an
answer that I was expecting. How could he make all those assumptions
about me?
"I
don't believe what I'm hearing. You better not be expecting some gratitude
for taking care of it." There is no answer, and I couldn't figure
out what was in the air between them.
"It
is without its power, otherwise it would have healed itself and escaped."
"So
let me kill it while we still have a chance. If the others means failed
maybe my sword can kill it, it is a demon after all."
"Now
I'm the one who can't believe what I'm hearing. You speak of taking
advantage of its weakness... that is not honorable, Chang."
This
discussion was altogether very odd. I couldn't understand the person
who was defending me like that. And after that last sentence, there
was a spreading guilt feeling coming from the other one. Who thinks
about honor when non-human creatures are involved after all? I wished
that my thoughts were not so messy, to better understand what was
coming from each of them.
"I
think it is a Shinigami..."
Now
that could explain some things. He saw my vambrace, he saw the broken
chain and he saw the two silvered words written on the black metal.
He was able to understand, and also knew that a Shinigami's source
of power was his blade that normally was chained in. He knew a lot
more about demons than common humans. They should be hunters...
"But
also, I think it is a fallen angel."
Shit
shit shit. Was the word repeating inside my mind.
I
checked the leather straps that hold the armor, wondering if he might
have taken it off, to try to see the birthmark on my wrist. Probably
not; the laces were still tied tightly in my own way. Even there was
nothing there that he could understand.
If
I had any clue about what that could mean to them... about what
they possibly could have interest in me? I looked to the window asking
myself how far I could bear to go, in this shape, in daylight.
"It
doesn't need power or weapon, it can smash us with its bare hands.
And if it is a fallen angel, you know that we can't kill it."
"Yes,
I know. So that's off the table."
"So,
what do you want from it? Why not drop him off some place far from
here? There is no difference if it once was an angel, they are selfish
and arrogant creatures..."
I
was glad they didn't have illusions about the true nature of angels.
Nothing of the celestial kindness and goodness, thank you very much.
I hated hearing that bullshit. Though that still didn't explain why
he was interested in me.
My
vision was blurred and my head tired of wondering.
"I
know." there was a sigh "I... know. Let's drop this
for now. I've been thinking... and need you to find and bring someone
here to me."
They
were walking away and I couldn't hear more. I didn't know if I felt
relieved.
I
looked down to the cut on my ribs that was still bleeding. I reached
for the metal inside but my fingers were a little clumsy and I thought
it wasn't a good idea try take it out for now.
I
let my head fall back, looking at the ceiling. The question that Chang
guy made for the other one remained in my mind. What did the other
want from me? If he knows about fallen angels, it wasn't a way to
kill me that he was looking for. I tried to remember, searching through
the feelings that I felt between them, but the pain was too much,
I couldn't focus on anything.
(...)
I
woke with the sound of the door opening and had some panicked seconds
of not being able to remember that I let myself sleep.
Shit!
Again.
I
was caught completely off guard, couldn't move and needed to blink
several times until I was able to see through the fog in my mind.
It
was the the man that shot me in the dungeon. Deep dark blue eyes and
brown tousled hair. I could notice Asian traces on his face. I wasn't
sure what part of Earth I ended up in during the fight, but most of
the others humans that I saw weren't Asians.
I
couldn't help but feel a little vulnerable. If he tried something...
he probably would end up hurt. I couldn't do much to avoid hurting
him if I needed to protect myself.
"I
brought water, hot and clean..."
He
said and I recognized the voice, was the one that defended me during
the previous discussion. That should make things easier; he probably
would not attempt anything and I could have some answers.
I
was still avoiding moving, partly because of the pain. Partly because...
well, I haven't any idea about what was going on here, and my thinking
was not in the best shape.
If
he was expecting something from me, he didn't wait long, just took
two buckets with water and placed them inside, closing the door. He
looked to the pants I was wearing and appeared satisfied. It wasn't
that he smiled or anything, just some brightening in his eyes. I had
a feeling that he just wasn't the smiling type.
I
tensed a bit, lifting my right arm to grab the tub edge. I would need
the support to stand up, if I need to defend myself. His eyes flew
to mine, kind of surprised, but he stayed where he was, like he was
expecting me to move or say something.
"I
won't hurt you," he said after a while. I saw his eyes on the
cut on my ribs; it was visible now that I lifted the arm. "That
will need a lot of care."
No
shit! Like I needed to be told the obvious. But, he looked truly concerned,
waiting for something... That he didn't find. He bent to take the
buckets' handles and walk towards me. He was brave, I need to recognize.
He picked a clean rag, soaking it in the water and handed it to me.
Just like that... like it was a common gesture and not like I was
a demon.
I
didn't really feel any threat coming from him, so I took it. The warmth
on my wound was relieving, I couldn't stop from closing my eyes. I
think he took this as some sign and sat, taking some minutes just
watching me clean that.
"I'm
Heero Yuy, lord of these lands."
I
continued my task with no words.
"Do
you have a name?"
He
should know how important a name is; no way I would give him information
like that. I ignored him and kept cleaning. When I removed all the
blood, the tip of metal appeared and I shivered to touch it.
"Hn,"
he grunted and dared to move even closer, but not enough that I could
reach him with my hands, smart guy.
"Why
don't you let me take care of it..." he offered. I looked
at him. What the fuck? My mind was kind of blurred. "And your
wing too..."
I
really didn't know what else to do. I barely could drag myself the
way I was now. For sure I couldn't take care of my wing by myself
without my power. But to put trust into someone... was hard. Specifically
knowing he should be a demon hunter and having no idea about his true
intentions.
"I
never broke a wing before..."
That
slipped, I had planned to say nothing at all. I turned my face away,
by the corner of my eye I could see him doing that subtle thing again,
softening his face almost imperceptibly like he had won.
"Can
I get near? Just to look better..."
His
voice was careful and low. I forced myself to stand up using the wall
and the tub to balance myself. For a minute I thought I couldn't.
My vision became spotted, the edges darkened. He flinched and I felt
him reprimand himself for not coming to help me.
I
don't know how I managed to sit on edge of tub.
"Looks
painful." He said coming close to look at my wing.
Really?!
He didn't have any idea but would not hear this from me.
"How...?"
he looked to me almost like he was apologizing. "I would have
helped it earlier if I knew how..."
I
shrugged to him, I had no idea either. "Whatever... releasing
a little weight will help enough..."
I
wanted to tell him to do it quickly. I was already dizzy before and
standing up was making it worse, but I didn't want to show him more
weakness.
He
didn't say anything but moved to grab some box with medical stuff
that was already in the room, which I hadn't noticed until then. He
turned to me showing his hand holding a syringe with some liquid inside.
I froze, startled with wide eyes.
He
looked sheepishly to me. "That will be painful... I promise
to use just little..."
"No!"
I immediately replied. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but...
it wasn't for him to just let go so easily, putting it back in a very
visible place, like he was assuring me that he wouldn't use it. Anyway,
I wasn't afraid of the pain. Still, I wasn't sure what was in this
drug they made. It probably was what was making me so sick.
This
idiot human was trying to gain my trust... Why? Was the golden
question. I heard him set out some bandages and medical things that
I couldn't figure out.
I
let him work on my back, staring at the gray rocks on the wall. I
was just stiff and very tense, couldn't let my guard down. But actually
that didn't matter, because, once he put the parts of my bone together,
I saw stars. He was saying something about the fracture and the way
he would wrap it. The blood rushing in my ears made me deaf. I just
tried to hold on and bear it.
I
closed my own eyes so hard that when I felt him touching my arm, I
had some seconds of only seeing all black.
"Are
you alright?" I finally managed to discern what he was saying.
My eyes found his. He looked concerned... strangely it was about
me and not about the cracks I unintentionally made in the stone wall
where I was holding.
I
nodded and felt ashamed, knowing I wasn't well enough to hide my own
pain.
"I
thought we should wrap around your torso... it will ease the
weight pressure a little..."
I
moved myself a little making room for him place the wrap around me.
I was very happy to not be capable of blushing, he was very close.
I could look better at his face and intense dark blue eyes through
the tousled hair. He was easy on the eyes.
Fuck,
there was something really wrong with me.
He
was very careful, placing the wrapping on left side off the big cut.
When he finished, despite the shitty sensation of have my wing completely
bound on my back, the pain was much more bearable.
"Thanks..."
I whispered.
I
couldn't see his face, but I could feel a victorious sensation coming
from him. I should start a score, just to have some measure of how
much he thinks he was winning with me.
"So,
do you have a name?"
I
completely ignored his question and I sat again in the tub edge, suddenly
too tired.
I
felt his cobalt eyes weighing on me for a bit, then he turned to grab
a small pair of scissors and a needle... yeah, stitches on that
fucking cut. Looking at my ribs made me not want to fuss in there.
But, probably, keeping a broken blade stuck in your flesh wasn't a
good idea.
In
a moment of anger, I held the metal with my fingers and rip it off
me all of a sudden. It felt like hellfire burning all my left side.
I barely heard the 'Fuck' that he said.
It
took some minutes for the burning sensation to lessen a little and
the room to stop spinning around my head. I was seated on the floor,
and didn't even remember sitting down. Probably he guided or helped
me, because he was sitting very close, pressing and cleaning the running
blood with warm water. It was a nice sensation. I let my head lean
back incapable of doing anything.
I
was still holding the metal. With a sharp shake of my head, I forced
myself to look at the spear tip; it had something green coating the
shining metal. I threw it in the trash pile that once was my pants
and armor.
"Are
you a fallen angel?"
He
was just trying to make me stay awake, I felt it, but that definitely
made me angry. I hate angels with all my will.
"I'm
a demon!" I barked back with a strength in my voice that didn't
think I was capable of in that situation. He looked frightened a bit,
at least. But it didn't take long for that feeling to fade on him,
even though I still looked angry.
"Not
born... not a real one..." he dared. I asked myself
how he could feel so free to say that.
"Maybe
I should show you how real I am..."
He
didn't feel threatened like I would like. Just continued with the
task of aiding me. Once he thought the bleeding stopped, he grabbed
the needle. I let my head fall back again, closing my eyes, my arm
lifted resting on the tub edge. I could almost ignore completely the
pinches of the needle and the wound pain every time he squeezed it
to close the parts. Truly I wasn't sure how conscious I was.
"You
need rest to regain some strength..."
I
opened my eyes just a little. He just saw me break that solid stone
wall, how dare he think I'm feeble. Even if I was really feeling weak
and sick right now.
"Easier
to drink your life out to heal me..." I hissed showing my
two pointed teeth.
"What's
stopping you?"
He
didn't buy my threat, the second one. His eyes were true and blue,
an intense look straight at me. I closed my own. That burning feeling
on every edge of my body was increasing a lot now. I wished it was
night; maybe in darkness I could feel less disoriented.
I
heard him stand up and his steps were in a different direction than
the door he came in before.
"Will
you say your name now?" I continued ignoring him. He stopped
and I felt his defeated feeling. Score to me, if I was capable to
keep a simple counting.
"At
least... rest." He said and I heard a sound of another door
opening before he left.
I
opened my eyes with a huge effort to set them on another open door
that lead to a room with a huge bed in it. For a minute, I couldn't
believe it, but the thought to rest properly in a good bed seemed
nice. I looked at all the stale blood covering the hard and cold stoned
floor... no doubt much better than that.
I
wondered again about what he could want from me, trying to gain my
trust, getting close...
But
before moving any muscle to get in that room, I just slipped away
to my la-la land of sleep with no clue how I let him be that close
to me... much more than anyone in a long, long time.
"Don't
get too close"
(TCB...)
~ * ~
Chapter 3
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