"Where My Demons
Hide"
Written By: Diana
Lua
Disclaimer: I don't own
Gundam Wing and I don't make any money with this. It's just a work
for fans and for fun.
Pairings: 1x2x1, 13x5; Background
pairing: 4x3x4, Solox2, 6+2, 9+6, H+2, R+1, S+5 and maybe more…
Warnings: AU, Yaoi, SLASH,
NC-17, alternating POVs; - Mainly a romance, drama with lots of angst
and some action;
- Time: some fictional medieval
age, nearly the 10th century (without technology nor gundams);
- Place: Earth with fictional context (not really caring about the
real History);
- Supernatural contents (demons, angels and dragons).
- Some magic like seals, curses and spells (the 'Crimson Spell' kind,
nothing like 'Harry Potter' things);
Rating: NC 17
Summary: Being captivated
by a strong and devastatingly beautiful demon, that was captured very
wounded, was just the start of the changes in Lord Heero Yuy's life.
The implications of relating with the creature were as dangerous and
revealing about things in the world that he had never before dreamed.
"Where
My Demons Hide"
03.
Blood
(Heero's
POV)
"I
want to hide the truth
I
want to shelter you
But
with the beast inside
There's
nowhere we can hide"
Even
being very tired I didn't get enough sleep at night. I tried think
about my duties, but couldn't get my mind away from the demon. I had
to hold myself back to not go back to his room.
The
prior morning I sent Wufei to find a healer that I had heard about,
someone who supposedly could cure anything. The rumors said that he
wasn't human or made some pact long ago and became hell bounded. Also
I needed to keep him away, he has a profound rage of inhuman creatures
and he probably wouldn't give up pressing me to get rid of him. But
I... can't. At least, not until I figure out what this urge is
in my guts.
In
addition, Trowa started patrolling around, looking for the lost weapon.
The demon said nothing, but I know how the Shinigami's powers work,
so he should have had a weapon with him. I'm hoping he lost it nearby
the castle. If Trowa finds it... he will be able to heal himself,
but also he will be able to go away. And that was what bothered me
the most.
I
was really puzzled by my feelings. I still couldn't answer, even to
myself, what I wanted from him. Why I was so interested on him. What
I felt for him. Until now, I just wanted him to feel better, although,
not enough to go away. Contradictory, I know, but couldn't help myself
about feeling that way.
His
appearance was surely angelical. Long chestnut hair, smooth white
skin and those shining purple-blue eyes. At first sight, the only
thing that said he wasn't an angel was the black color of his wings
and nails. Still, he was a vision.
Fallen
angels were really rare, because they couldn't be killed, just a few
were expelled from heaven by God in the beginning of time. Well, that
was what has been told. Then, of course, I was curious if I guessed
right, but he has something more... something that I saw inside
his eyes lightened by firelight.
He
let me help him a little the day before. Mostly because he was very
wounded, I could see him wandering the whole time. Maybe it was the
blood loss... I didn't have any idea how to continue helping
him.
He
talked about drinking my life, but even assuming that blood drinking
worked to heal him, I couldn't let him kill someone to heal himself.
Also... I had a feeling that he didn't want to, or else he would
have already done it. I saw his pain... and knew he wouldn't
bear it, if he found this way easier.
I
simply couldn't stop my mind from spinning around him, and there was
no way I could rest a little more, so I got out of bed. I tried not
rushing myself when I got dressed and ate some breakfast. I finished
at the library looking through a pile of papers , but it was still
early, there was no message from Wufei yet and Trowa was out patrolling.
My legs carried me back to his room, holding and turning the key inside
my pocket while I was walking.
I
entered by the bedroom side, wishing he was asleep, and had a moment
of panic when I didn't see him. I had froze for a instant, when I
heard some sound coming from the bathroom; a pained sound. I stormed
into there.
"What
happened?" I asked to nobody. He was sprawled out on the floor,
on a big pool of blood, not conscious.
I
didn't think, I saw the stitches ripped off, making that cut in his
ribs bigger than before, and just knelt beside him touching his neck
looking for a pulse. My mistake. In a heartbeat his hand was on my
neck, nails bruising my skin in an iron grip, my air was gone. I looked
into his eyes and didn't see any recognition, took some time for his
vision to come into a sharp focus. He recognized me and took another
heartbeat for him to release me.
I
fell on all fours, the air came back in a rush, I couldn't help but
gasp for it, sucking in what I could and didn't seem to possibly get
the air in fast enough. Needed all my concentration to not pant, taking
slow and steady breaths instead. My throat was feeling crushed and
my chest was on fire.
When
I could calm down, I noticed my hands in the blood pooled on the floor.
That made me try to concentrate on him.
"What...?"
I croaked, incapable of getting words out.
He
was still lying down, eyes barely open, looking at me. "Poison..."
his voice came out ragged, shocking me.
"Fuck!
How...?"
"The...
sword..."
I
threw myself into looking for that piece of metal that was inside
his flesh. Found it in the trash pile and when I rubbed the stale
blood off it, I found some green residue stuck on it. Probably some
poison, started spreading when he removed the blade.
I
looked at him pale and trembling, his skin was sticky and sweaty.
I felt horrible, I left him alone suffering all night long. If I had
come checking on him before...
"You
have any idea what it is?"
He
blinked and shook his head in negative. Fuck! Dealing with poison
was already hard enough when knowing what it was. Without information...
I had no idea what to do to help him. If Chang was here... like
hell he would agree to help anyway.
My
thoughts were interrupted by the pained sounds, low and painful, getting
under my skin, making my heart clench.
"Tell
me what to do." I pleaded to him touching his arm.
He
frowned and for an instant his eyes focus on mine. "Leave me
alone..." I didn't know if it was his ragged voice or the
words that cracked me. He closed his eyes, whole body trembling feverish
hot. I couldn't understand... he was giving up? Giving up on
life? Why? No way I will let it happen. At least not that easily.
I
was scared for him, but also, was scared by my own feelings. I couldn't
organize my thoughts, just knew that I needed to do something.
"I
will be back soon..." I said and was almost sure he hadn't
heard, shivering, laid down on floor with closed eyes. I ran out,
shutting the door without bothering about locking it.
Didn't
take more than a minute to climb down the stairs, shouting on the
way for the servants to bring more hot water and bandages.
After
a big demon attack about eight years ago I started to use the room
beside library as a stash. We kept in there every single thing that
has some use against demons specially. Had an entire shelf with antidotes
for poisoning, originally from animals, like snakes, until the common
demons that we fought with frequency. I just had a small clue about
how strong he was, for sure the demon which he fought was equally
strong or more. Not one of those we usually see, probably there wasn't
any antidote for this specific type. Even if I had the poisoned blade
fragment... I had no idea how... to do it. Nevertheless, all of them
were made for human use. I was not sure if any of it would work for
him, more than that, I was worried about making it worse.
I
ran until I reached the stable, grabbing a saddle and started strapping
it on Wing. I wasn't aware of my own actions until I was hit by logic.
What I was doing? Going to where? Looking for whom? Wufei was too
far, even if he was already coming back by now he probably won't be
back until the next day. The nearest village didn't have someone with
this kind of expertise. Even if it did, how to explain that what I
needed was to 'heal' a demon?
I
should go and bring Chang back anyway, that will take a while and
I didn't know if he could bear the wait.
I
was there with all those thoughts, leaning on Wing's body letting
my forehead touch him, unconsciously patting his neck. The saddle
half way strapped forgotten. I wished his calm and warmth could put
my mind at ease. I need to calm down, there must be some way...
because if he... I...
Hoofbeats
take me out of this daydream. I ran to find Trowa coming back with
the patrol. I felt like my lungs were squeezed until now and were
suddenly released when I saw him holding a blanket rolled like a ball.
His
eyes were wide open and he looked frightened to me.
"What
the hell?" he unhorsed quickly and grabbed my arm dragging me
inside.
"You
found it?" I asked, the library's doors weren't closed yet.
"Are
you ok...?" He took a long look at me. "What in the
hell happened with you?"
Took
me a moment to look myself and find that black blood was all over
my clothes and my arms, my throat should be bruised and clawed.
"...
an accident. My fault."
He
came near and pulled the collar of my shirt looking under it. For
sure I was clawed. Trowa was a man of few words, much like me. We
grew together and he knows me very well.
"Yes,
I found it," he said walking toward the big table. "You
guessed right..." he opened the blanket, showing a scythe.
Even though it was dirty and stained by blood the metal shone like
no human weapon could. "A shinigami."
Smaller
than what I expected. The blade was the length of my arm; there was
no junction between the blade and the snath. There was chain coming
from the bottom of the grip; the last link was broken.
I
took it and would have walked away toward to the demons room. Who
did I want to deceive? I probably would have run up the stairs, if
Trowa hadn't grabbed me.
"He
is dying. Some poison in his ribs... If he gets it back..."
"You
can't!"
"Trowa
listen..."
"No,
you listen. I thought Chang was exaggerating... but you truly
are..."
He
was standing between me and the door, still grabbing my arm. The only
thing in my mind was to heal the demon. Trowa was taller and faster
than me but I was stronger.
I
just couldn't believe I was considering picking a fight with him.
Like he said: What the hell was wrong with me? I was so confused,
that urge, that pressure on my chest, I couldn't tell what it all
meant.
"He
won't do anything... he's in pretty bad shape... he needs
to heal himself or..."
"Or
what? He'll die?"
I
looked away, suddenly those green eyes bore straight into me. What
could I say? Yes. I was worried that he would die. I was frightened
by this idea. I just want to spend some time with him.
"He
should die, Heero. That is what we do, kill demons."
"He's
a fallen angel!"
"It's
the same, just stronger. If that is true, what about how fallen angels
can't be killed? He told you something?"
"He
told me he was a demon when I asked. But..."
His
grip increased on my arm. "It's not just your life that's at
risk here."
"There
is no risk, at all." I just wished they, he and Chang, could
see a little bit that there was no danger coming from him. If he wanted
to harm anyone, he would not have been caught in the first place.
"You
don't know that."
I
rubbed my hand over my face. Shit, how could I prove this for him.
I growled and he still impassively blocked the way. He took a breath
before using the only thing that could really convince me.
"If
it is about the lives of others, the decisions you make cannot be
based just on personal feelings. Cause if it's a wrong one... you
know pretty well the consequences."
He
didn't need to be more clear. I knew that pretty well, like he said.
For
a moment my mind was flooded with the memories about what happened
eight years ago and the guilt made my knees weak. He played dirty
bringing that up. But he was right and I handed the scythe to him.
If
I was confused before, now I was completely overwhelmed. There were
a bunch of people living in the castle and surrounding area; I couldn't
risk their lives just because of a feeling that I can't even explain.
I
pressed my forehead, "Send..." could felt the beginning
of a tension headache, "Send two of our fastest men to rush Chang.
I want him back with or without that healer." Chang could make
some antidote, though he would not agree with me from the start, that's
for sure. I wondered if the demon would hang on until he came back.
"At
once," he answered and stepped aside.
I
left immediately, going back to the room. I was distressed because
there was nothing that I could do for him now. A bucket and some bandages
were waiting in front of the door, the water already cooled down.
The
sight of him dropped unconscious on the floor made my heart break.
Shivers crossing all his body, his face was twisted in pain, covered
by sweat. I tried to call him, remembering my mistake before, but
was not answered.
I
soaked a rag in the water, glad it was cold now, and started to clean
the sweat on his face. He was burning, the lips cracked dry. I brushed
his bangs away to place the moist rag in his forehead.
Only
then did his eyes open a bit, lost, wandering like he couldn't see.
His hands tried to grab me, like before, losing the first grip. There
was almost no resistance when I grabbed his arm and held down preventing
a second one.
"Hey..."
I wanted to ask his name again, "Tell me what to do... please..."
I wasn't sure if he could hear or understand, his eyes still wandered
blindly.
"There
is nothing to do..." the voice came in a whisper.
I
wanted to say that there was. But inside my head there was a looping
litany between the scythe and that 'what if'. I felt completely powerless,
taking the rag to soak it in the cold water again.
"Just
hold on... one of my men will be back soon. He will be able to
make some antidote..."
Looked
like he couldn't listen. I placed the cold rag in his forehead, feeling
it getting warm immediately. His muscles were all cramped; he was
shivering like his joints were loose. I noticed he was almost flat
on his back, crushing the fractured wing with his weight. It should
be painful. I took the pillows from bed and arranged them behind his
back. He just let me touch and move him without a word, but the shivering
faded a bit making me curse for not noticing that before.
"You
can die?" I asked while soaking the rag again. If he couldn't,
like what was told about fallen angels, he just needed bear the pain
until Chang arrives.
On
his lips appeared a shadow of smile, like that was some silly question.
"Of
course..."
Shit.
So what we knew about fallen angels was wrong, or he wasn't one. What
other explanation could explain his mixed form? Didn't matter at all,
in that case, he won't make it. I doubted Chang would be back before
late in the night.
"I
can't let you die..."
"Why...?"
his voice was very weak.
I
didn't know. I just couldn't. I hadn't an answer.
"
shoulda... died... long ago..." He closed his eyes, trembling
hard.
"You
don't look like the type to give up easily... You fought so hard
with that other demon... can't believe you are just giving up..."
"No...
can't... give up... I promised..." he opened his
feverish eyes looking toward the window. A promise? That was a strange
saying for a demon. "Just... nothing to do... without 'scythe...
I have no power..."
My
guts twisted hard. Even though, Trowa words couldn't be erased from
my mind. The memory of finding the small body... the preparations
to bury... My mistake, my fault, I trusted without really knowing...
how could I?
Just
the day before he had a stubborn attitude, looking at me full of suspicion,
trying to threaten me... "And what about blood...?"
I remembered suddenly.
He
turned his eyes trying to focus on me.
"You
said yesterday something about drinking my life. You are a demon,
so if you drink human blood your power can be restored temporarily...
and you can heal yourself, am I right?"
One
crazy idea was taking form in my mind. Took some time before he said
anything, but when he opened his mouth showing his sharp teeth, though
he tried to hiss, no sound came.
"Yeah...
could drink... ya life..."
Something
in the way he said it made me wonder if he was avoiding it. Why he
hadn't done it yet? He never considered it. The demons do this a lot
during the invasions, no survivors after. Maybe, just maybe, he was
worried about me? I wanted to believe it. The regular demons probably
didn't bother at all, but maybe he could do it without killing me.
"Would
you tell me your name before you kill me, at least?"
For
just a heartbeat his eyes come finally to focus on me, he looked truly
surprised.
"Take
mine..." I felt he wouldn't hurt anyone, then maybe, if
I was right, he could leave me alive. That way I was risking just
my life. I swallowed and extended my arm toward him. "Take it
if will help... and if you can, don't kill me..."
He's
still looking hard into me. His eyes are dark, opaque, the pupils
dilated. He didn't answer, or move, just looking, like trying to read
me somehow.
"I'm
giving it to you. No need tell me your name... if you don't want
to." I smile at him, trying to remember the way he looked at
me in the dungeon, the way I saw him, what I felt.
His
eyes moved to my wrist, the veins bulging, beat modulated by the blood
inside. But he didn't move, like he didn't dare...
"You
promised to not die, didn't you? So, take it... I trust you to
spare me..."
He
opened his mouth, but made no sound. He blinked and tried to lift
himself a little using his left arm, I held him because he wasn't
able to sustain it.
He
didn't tell me that it was possible to be bitten and still live, but
for some reason I trusted him. His eyes were strange, but being so
close let me see how purple they were. I was bearing almost all his
weight. He took my arm, his hand very weak holding me, brought my
wrist to his lips, slowly licked the hand junction, tongue dancing
there. I forgot how to breathe. His eyes were locked on mine. I couldn't
close them if I wanted, I was fascinated with him. Then I felt the
pain of his teeth puncturing my skin.
I
tried to jerk my arm back out of pure reflex, but he was holding tight
already. I wasn't sure if I dozed off and lost the moment where our
places were exchanged and he was bearing my weight, one of his arms
was around my waist keeping me in place. Surprisingly fast, but also,
I wasn't sure about the time. Starting in my bitten arm, a heat spread
fast over my whole body, turning me on. My head was light, like floating
over my shoulders. I didn't really feel when he finished and pulled
his teeth back. My arm was kind of numb, but I still felt the strong
gripping of his hand almost crushing there to put some pressure and
stop the bleeding.
He
pulled me closer to his bare chest, his body heat going through my
shirt easily, then I noticed how cold I was. I saw worry in his eyes
and wanted to tell him I was ok. The words didn't came out my mouth
however. But my warm breath touched his lips, very close to mine,
I noticed. They were full and smooth, not cracked dry anymore. One
blood red line on his chin. I was hit with a strong desire, my whole
body screamed "yes" and I couldn't help myself but kiss
him.
Even
dizzy and lightheaded I never was so aroused before; I didn't think,
I couldn't, just acted. I kissed him slowly, my own lips catching
his, they were so soft. He didn't move, letting me give him little
kisses, enjoying the softness of his lips. I slid my tongue on them,
tasting the metallicity of my own blood. Filled by a unusual daring,
I pressed my tongue to open his lips hoping to taste more. He opened
a little letting me tangle our tongues together. I had a vague feeling
that I was being rough, but I was so aroused that it made me anxious,
almost desperate. But if I was, he showed no sign, still passively
receiving my kiss. Not really returning my passion, just leisurely
moving his lips and tongue.
I
wanted to hold him, press our bodies together, of course I didn't
have the coordination to do that. When my lips left his mouth, tracing
the line of his jaw, avoiding some bruises, going down in his neck,
he stopped me, pulling me to slide to his chest.
"There,
there... rest now..." his voice was low, not hoarse
anymore, his lips brushed my ear making me shiver, even as he was
patting my head like I was some child that needed to be hushed. I
wanted to keep kissing him, wanted to make him kiss me back. But with
his arms strongly circling my body, his warmth making me so comfortable,
I just dozed of to my dreams in the blink of an eye.
(...)
# This
chapter was too big, so I needed cut it; otherwise would take too
long to update it.
# Hope
the bite scene was nice, it was very hard made it exactly the way
I wanted.
# Thanks
a lot for the support by whom left comments. I started to write in
English because the Portuguese GW fandom dead, so nobody comment anymore
(there is almost no hits too :/ )
Hope
things wasn't happening too slow and boring, I will love see your
opnions. :)
~ * ~
Chapter 4
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