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" Taking it All "Written By: Emerald Pillow Warnings: angst and lemon (so far) Pairings: 1x3x1, 3+4 Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the characters, though I'd like to. You can try to sue me for messing up their lives royaly, but all you'll get is my cat that looks like Trowa, but named Duo. Author's note: This is probably the first fic that I started posting before finsihing it. . .so it may take a little longer to get everything up than usual. . .but I hope you enjoy it, and hopefully your requests will push me to finish it. . .since I haven't finished one in a loooooooooong time. Kudos
"Taking it All "
Chapter 5 Trowa slowly opened his eyes to find that he was laying on Heero's bed. He must have fallen asleep in the car and Heero carried him inside. Once again, he was causing problems for the Japanese man. Not really wanting to get up, he continued to lay in bed. Maybe Heero was right. He should have stayed in bed today. At least that way, he wouldn't have told Heero the true purpose of his visit. His eyes ran the simple room, housing only what it truly needed: a dresser; bed; lamp; and a small table which supported an alarm clock. The windows were lined with blinds and thin black curtains. There were no nick naks, or expensive rugs and paintings, like his and Quatre's bedroom. Heero's pillows weren't stuffed with feathers, nor sheets made of satin, but to Trowa, they were just as luxurious. Though the furniture in Quatre's elaborate estate were designed and bought for comfort, Trowa felt more at ease in Heero's apartment. He had been with Quatre for so long, and gotten use to living high, he had nearly forgotten how much he missed simple things such as this. If he and Heero hadn't made love on the very bed, a few nights prior, he probably would have. "You're finally awake. I was starting to worry." Trowa looked toward the doorway to find Heero entering. "How are you feeling?" "Like shit." "You didn't sleep last night, did you?" "Not really." Trowa rolled onto his back as Heero entered the room and sat next to him. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." "It's okay. If you're feeling bad, I'd rather have you sleep." Heero lightly pressed his hand against Trowa's forehead. "At least your fever is under control." Trowa reached to grab the back of Heero's neck and pulled his face closer. Just as their lips nearly met, Heero resisted. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He questioned softly while staring into Trowa's eyes. "I don't want to make things harder on you. . .after all, you did come to drop me." It sounded so harsh coming from him. It had been tearing at Trowa since the decision last night, but now it ripped him apart. His hand dropped from Heero's flesh. "I don't know what else to do. We both know this isn't right." "Have you ever considered giving up Quatre?" No answer was needed; the blank expression on Trowa's face was all he needed. "Maybe you're not in love with him." "Of course I am. I-" "I'm not denying that you love him Trowa, but that you're not 'in love' with him, and that's why you're doing this." Trowa slowly shook his head 'no'. It didn't make sense to him. Of course he was in love with Quatre. They've been together for a long time. "If you're in love with him, then why cheat on him?" "I don't know." "I think you do know, you're just not listening." "You're right. . .it's your fault. . .you, your spandex and your skin tight jeans that scream 'take me off!'. I'd have to be straight to not want to know if the bulge in your jeans was real or not." "Like I'd stuff." "I haven't seen too many guys with a football size bulge in their jeans." "It's not the size of a football." Heero closed his eyes in aggravation. "You're avoiding the subject again Trowa. You know he's getting suspicious. He did hire a PI to investigate us. You're going to have to decide something soon." Trowa turned from his gaze. He wasn't sure why, but he wasn't able to withstand how Heero was looking at him. "How could you ever trust me?" "I've always trusted you; not even knowing you're doing this will waiver that trust. Aside, I don't think you're completely happy with him." "What makes you so sure that we'll be different?" "Because I'm not him. I accept you for who and what you are, and I don't want you as a love slave." "Quatre never-" "I'm your best friend Trowa. I see these things. You're pretty much everything he wants you to be, because you're making yourself into what he wants. That's not a sign of deep affection. From what I see, he's just making you his silent love slave." True, there were a few things that were different. . .but they were subtle changes. Such as wardrobe. Trowa had gone from blue jeans and tee shirts to causal formal. He no longer owned a pair of jeans. He now knew the difference between a salad and dinner fork. It seemed more often that he was biting his tongue at Quatre's fund raisers, parties, and gatherings, for fear of bad reflection on his boyfriend. In fact, as of late, he just stopped talking altogether at these events. His sharp words had caused problems before, and he avoided a relapse. He barely associated with Wu Fei and lost all contact with Catherine. It seemed, aside from Heero and Duo (whom Trowa wasn't truly fond of), his social ring was strapped to Quatre's. Then there were Quatre's sisters. They were constantly condemning him, and deeming him as unworthy of Quatre's love. Trowa had lost count of how many false words he's spoken, or empty acts he participated in, with a slim chance of earning their approval. Despite all that, they still looked down at him. He wasn't sure if it was because he was a man, or a poor man. Either way, all they saw in him was a gold digger. Was that what was missing in his life?. . .himself? Had he lost that somewhere in those three years? Is that why he wanted so badly to cling to Heero? Because his friend was the only shred in his life that reminded him that he was more than just Quatre's lover? "Why not take time to think it over?" Heero's words cut through Trowa's thoughts. "If you want to have space for that, I understand." He tenderly kissed Trowa's forehead, then stood to leave. "I made some soup earlier, if you're hungry, I can warm up a bowl." Trowa slowly nodded and Heero set out to complete his task. Homemade soup? Trowa smirked to himself. That was like
Heero. He never let anyone do something for him if he was able. He
wouldn't even eat out unless he was in a hurry, or someone treated
him. Trowa use to be like that. Held a job, and pulled his own weight
at the circus. He didn't really need anyone, and did everything on
his own. In fact, when he started living with Quatre, he had kept
these habits for a long time. Somehow, he had gotten use to servants
cooking his food and completing chores. He couldn't remember the last
time that he did any of that. They sat in silence as Trowa ate his soup and drank the broth. Wrapped in Heero's embrace like this, made him safe and at ease. Once he finished, he placed the bowl on the table next to the bed. Heero laid back, and pulled Trowa to rest on his chest. The Latin closed his eyes while listening to Heero's strong heartbeat. Everything was so calm, and he felt as if they would waste the day like this; not sharing words, just laying in the stillness with only his coughing to frighten silence for a brief moment. Heero lightly ran his fingers through Trowa's brown hair. Part of him wanted to tell the Latin how he felt, how he had always felt since they kissed, but why? Especially if he ends up going through with his original decision. "Heero?" "Hn?" "How do you feel about me?" "What I feel shouldn't affect your judgment Trowa. I don't want it to. What matters is what makes you happy." "Will you stay with me no matter my choice?" "I'm not going to provide you with a safety net by making promises I can't keep." It was around about way of saying it, but Trowa understood the message clearly. Heero did care a lot about him, and choosing Quatre would hurt far too greatly to sit back and watch them be happy together. Trowa lifted slightly, his head now feeling as if it weighted a ton. Why did it scare him to think he could never see Heero again? If they were just friends, why? He pushed forward to taste Heero's lips. He must have been eating pocky before Trowa woke, for he strongly tasted of them. The kissing would have continued if Trowa hadn't pulled away to avoid coughing on his lover. He sat up straight and covered his mouth. Heero remained laying as he watched Trowa struggle between coughing and breathing. He made a mental note to turn the car on the next time they make love on the hood in the middle of winter. When Trowa finally ceased, Heero leaned forward and brushed his bangs to the side so he could kiss Trowa's forehead. "Baby, I picked up some medicine for you. I'll go get it." "Appreciated." "If you need tissue, top drawer." He nodded toward the table by the bed, then pushed from the mattress. Heero stepped into his small living room and retrieved the white plastic bag he had tossed on the couch earlier. He could hear Trowa blowing his nose in the next room, and felt sorry for his lack of thinking. It was definitely reckless. Pulling the two boxes from the bag, he headed back into the bedroom. One box was maximum strength cough syrup; the other was dissolving tablets that would help for aches, headaches, and stuffiness. It was the same that Trowa practically lived on last year during his continuous colds and flu. For some odd reason, the tabulates always managed to know out the Latin for at least a few hours. "Do you have plans with Quatre tonight?" Heero asked as he sat next to his lover. "Not really." He sounded congested now. "Maybe you should take the cough syrup now, and these when you get home." Trowa looked up at 'these' and cringed. He hated taking them. Something about the residence always gagged him; which was odd since he was use to drinking masturbation with no problem. Heero chuckled as Trowa crashed onto the bed and buried his face in the pillows. Despite Trowa's normal behavior, whenever he got sick like this, he became whiny. Oddly enough, Heero found such behavior cute. "Come on now. If you can take a bullet, you can take medicine." "Given the options, I'd rather have the bullet. Besides, if I get well, then you won't pamper me." This was followed with coughing, and Trowa spitting a glob of mucus in Heero's trash can. "That's really attractive." Trowa laughed. "I'm glad you can't catch this." Trowa whispered while staring at the mattress. "At least I can still touch you without worrying about your health. . .or missing work." The smile a few seconds ago, was gone. "I never told you this, but last year, when I had pneumonia. . .he wouldn't come around me too much. The first couple of days, he didn't even come see me." Trowa bit his lip. Why did he just say that? Heero didn't need to know something like that. "I mean, I can understand why. I didn't want to get him sick. He shouldn't have-" "Trowa, I'm sure his business wouldn't fall apart if he was sick for a few days." Trowa kept his eyes from Heero. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want Heero to think poorly of Quatre. "It was no big deal." "How many times have you told yourself that? You had pneumonia for nearly eight weeks, and he wasn't there for you?" Trowa didn't respond at first. "Not everyone is perfectly healthy and immune to such things." "That has nothing to do with it." Suddenly Heero felt guilty. His tone was implying that Trowa was to blame, instead of Quatre. "Baby, I'm just surprised he would treat you like that. Especially since he claims to love you." "He does Heero. He really does. . .I know he does." Heero started to say something, but stopped himself. He could see that Trowa was regretting the fact that this information had been told. Speaking what was on the Japanese man's mind would only discourage Trowa from confiding in him further. Instead, he hugged Trowa gently and rested his forehead against Trowa's temple. "I'm not saying that he doesn't. I'm sure he does." "I would have felt bad if he had gotten sick from
me." Those were his words, but in truth, he had wanted Quatre
to visit him as much as Heero had at the time. ~ * ~ Chapter
6 |
