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"Brothers"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, Get together fic, sap, angst, fluff,
citrus Pairings: 2x1 Summary: After the death of his mother, Duo is forced to live with his estranged father. The new family seems perfect at first, but the truth is entirely different and will be revealed as Duo starts to get feelings for his "brother".
"Brothers " Chapter sixteen With the money I had saved up - Tabytha always readily gave me cash to buy school supplies and clothes and never asked to have the change back - I purchased a small camera at a store that specialized in monitoring and security equipment for wannabe spies; scorned housewives and distrustful men. The camera came with a long chord to directly connect it to Heero's laptop. We hid the small device on a bookshelf, above his desk and threaded the chord to the window where it followed the window frame down, obscured by the curtain. Books and papers hid the remaining chord and where it connected with the laptop from sight. The camera was always recording, because we never knew when it was going to happen. There would be no warning. Every morning, when nothing had happened, we deleted the useless file and started a new recording to last the next 24 hours. It was uneasy to have the camera trained on us the entire day, especially since it was a constant reminder of what was about to happen. At night, the camera observed me tossing and turning on my small mattress at the foot of Heero's bed. I couldn't sleep. Even the smallest sound set my hairs on end, elevated my heartrate and had my breath catching in my throat. The wind that made a branch scratch the outer wall, Heero's bed creaking as he shifted in his undisturbed sleep and a raccoon knocking over a garbage can down the street. It didn't matter what the sound was, I shot upright every time and fixed my gaze on the door, praying: not yet. Not now. Not ever. I called Ruby. I didn't tell her about our plan, all I said was that we might have an opportunity to escape soon, and I asked for reassurance if it was okay for us to come to her when the time came. She made me memorize her address and cellphone number and made me promise to call if anything or anyone stood in the way of reaching her. She begged me to tell her where we were, so she could help, but whatever help she could offer us would not be enough. If it came down to our word against Cameron's, we wouldn't stand a chance. The charismatic asshole had no trouble charming people into believing him. He was such an upstanding citizen and I was just a disgruntled youth, Heero was a disturbed, traumatized boy and Ruby was the friend of his ex-wife who held a grudge. I thought of my mom a lot and looked at our pictures. I could only hope that she would agree that running was simply not a valid option at this point. I would always be grateful that she turned her entire life upside down to save me from the monster that was my father, but in the end, I was the only one she could save and that was not enough. Someone took my place. Heero took my place. Even if I could convince Heero to run away with me - or knock him unconscious and sneak him out of the house - the best possible outcome would be that we could save ourselves; that Cameron would give up on looking for us and that we could disappear. If successful, if that was even possible, we would only be saving ourselves. It would be selfish. There would always be another boy. A new victim. We had to stop him. I believed that was why things had worked out the way they did, why I had ended up back in his household. My mother couldn't stop him, but she had saved me so I could. It was my responsibility. Heero emerged from the bathroom after taking a shower and sat down next to me on the floor. I had the precious photo-album in my lap and thumbed the corner of an old picture. "She was beautiful," He concluded, studying the image of my mother's smiling face. I smiled and stroked my finger along her features. "You look nothing like her." I let out a hearty laugh that startled my brother in law. "So I'm ugly, huh?" He scrunched up his face. "Never mind." "Did she know?" I blinked at him. "Know what?" "That you're gay." I paused and looked back at the picture. My heart stuttered in my chest. "She did." "And she was okay with it?" "I guess so." "Weren't you really close?" "We were. And it never seemed like she took issue with it but..." I shrugged and tried to pretend that I didn't feel a sharp pain in my chest. "We never really talked about it. With the way our life was, I never got around to telling her about what I felt and I wasn't really thinking about boys anyway. Before she got sick, I was too much of a kid, my sexuality didn't really mean anything. After she got sick... well, I couldn't think about anything but her sickness. I wanted it make her happy, wanted to make her laugh, so I mostly just told a lot of jokes. We both tried to compensate for the seriousness of her illness, so we never took anything else seriously at that point. Everything was a joke to us. We had to laugh, because the only other option was crying and we didn't want to do that." Heero nodded. His eyes were glazed over, he seemed lost in thought, making me wonder if he had even been listening to me. "I guess I still do that," I continued. "I make light of stuff. I don't know how else to handle... life." I closed the photo-album and slid it under Heero's bed and then adjusted my position so I could face him. "How do you handle it?" He shrugged. "I just don't think about. I focus on other stuff." "Like science, and engineering?" "Yeah." "So that's why you're so smart and so good at school. You study so you don't have to think about anything else. That seems like a better approach then mine," I chuckled. "At least you're learning something useful." "I think we're both coping the best way we can," He said quietly. I smiled at him, at his unexpected kindness. "Can we trust this Ruby person?" I got the impression that question was the only reason why he had started up the conversation. "Yes, we can trust her. She was a friend of my mom, she was a volunteer at a shelter who helped us get away back then, set us up at a halfway house, got us cash to get started. She met up with us once in a while, whenever she could, and always got us out of trouble." I smiled at him reassuringly. "You'll like her. And she'll like you." "There aren't any good universities in Florida," He said dryly. "You can go to school wherever you want." I decided not to share with him that I suspected that once we were way from Cameron, he would probably fall apart and his plans to graduate and attend university would be postponed to give him time to heal. If I had told him that, I didn't think he would have gone through with the plan. Until he was ready, we could live with Ruby and after, if he would have me, I would accompany him anywhere he wanted to go. But I would do anything to keep him safe and happy and if that meant getting as far away from him as possible, I would do that too. A silence settled between us. I recognized there was more he wanted to say or ask, but he wasn't ready yet, so I waited. I sat calmly and picked at the fibers of the beige carpet, between my legs. I shifted my weight to the left, just enough so I my shoulder would lean against his. He pretended not to notice, but he tensed and then later relaxed. "You haven't been sleeping well." "You noticed? Did I keep you up?" "No. I saw on the footage." I grinned at him and playfully pushed against his bent knee, so it toppled over to his other leg. He allowed these small touches lately, but only because he was forcing himself to stand it. In preparation of what was to come. "The camera isn't so you can spy on me," I teased light-heartedly. "I wasn't spying," He emphasized. "I happened to notice, that is all." "Don't worry about me. I'll sleep better once we get out of this place." I hoped that would be true. "You really don't want to have sex with me?" My brother asked, while purposefully looking the other way. I took a deep breath at the loaded question. "I-..." I rubbed the back of my neck, stalling as I puzzled together an answer that was as much truth as it could be without frightening him. "Part of me does want to have sex with you. But all of me doesn't want to rape you." I studied his features for a reaction but he only turned his head further away. "Part of you?" "The part that is still a teenager, with hormones... and eyes, which see how beautiful you are. The part that is curious. The part that somehow doesn't know about everything else that is going on. But that part of me is stupid." I scrunched up my face, I didn't want him to misinterpret that. "Sex isn't something you should do because only a part of you wants it. The two people involved should both want it wholly. Or else it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be special." Heero nodded and turned to face me again. After hesitating and struggling to find the words, he wondered: "What would it be like? If it was special?" I felt my face get heated at his question. "I- I don't know. I've never done it." "But you've thought about doing it, right?" He pressed on and an analytical curiosity appeared on his features. "What would you do? How would it go?" A nervous laugh escaped me. "I'm sorry." He pulled his knees up and hugged them to his chest. He averted his eyes again. We were both unsure what he was apologizing for. Then I steeled my nerves and started: "For starters, we wouldn't be brothers. Not even on paper." I nudged him playfully. Make light of it, I thought to myself, it was the only way I knew how to cope. "You'd just be my classmate, or my lab partner. I would... I would find excuses to touch you; your hand, your arm, your shoulder, your neck, you hair..." I trailed off and for a moment lost my train of thought as I stared at him, while he ignored my gaze. "I'd ask you out and you would probably say 'no' because you'd just think I'm an idiot." I smiled when Heero snorted. "But I'd persevere. Ask my mom for advice - I mean, if I'm allowed to fantasize, I'm allowed to pretend she would still live in this ideal world, right?" He didn't answer. "She'd say something uplifting but untrue that all mothers have to tell their kids. 'He would be lucky to have you. You can do better than him'. I'd probably be angry at her for saying that because you mean the world to me. But when I would finally get to introduce you to her, she would simply adore you. After we would have been dating for a while, I'd arrange something special, which would probably end up being really cheesy," I chuckled at myself, losing myself to the whimsical, hopeful illusion. "But we would both be ready and it wouldn't matter where it happened, or if it was as perfect as I had planned." I wrung my hands together, suddenly much more aware of how close he was to me and that our shoulders were still touching. "I'd undress you... probably ask you at every button if you're sure..." He turned his head slightly more my way and seemed to be looking at my hands. I took in the sight of his face; the smooth, golden skin that reflected the light in perfect planes, his sharp cheekbones, his perfectly straight nose, the curve of his upper lip. "I'd kiss you everywhere," I breathed. Why was I saying these things? Why wasn't he stopping me? "I'd be gentle. I'd cherish you. I wouldn't know what to do and maybe you wouldn't either..." I felt a painful stab in my heart and knew he did too. "It wouldn't last very long," I snickered breathily. "But everything would feel right anyway and even our mistakes would be perfect because I would get to hear you laugh." His throat worked as he swallowed. He lowered his gaze to the carpet. "I have an erection," I said dumbly. With the way he was sitting, I couldn't tell if he was in the same predicament as I was, but I felt like I had to be honest with him, even bluntly so. Heero didn't respond to my admission and I supposed that was a good thing, because he didn't judge me or fear me. "I'm sorry it won't be like that," He said. I allowed myself a moment of self-pity, but only a moment. "Do you want to take care of that?" I looked up and felt my cheeks flush red hot when I caught him pointedly staring at my crotch. "Uhh... No. It'll... solve itself." I really couldn't imagine feeling good about masturbating in our given situation. I felt betrayed by my own body. I understood I had physical needs, especially at this age, but to think of Heero in that regard was beyond inappropriate. It worried me. I couldn't trust my own body. When he merely nodded and looked away with his eyebrows pinched together I realized he might not have been offering me privacy to take care of it myself but had instead suggested something else. I knew I would feel even worse taking him up on that offer - if it was even offered - so I was glad I missed it and the moment was gone before I could get too awkward about it and maybe say something I would have instantly regretted. We sat together in silence and as expected, my problem resolved itself rather easily. "Do you want to play?" Wide-eyed I turned to face him and relief washed over me when I noticed him holding one of the game controllers out to me. My face split into a smile. "Yeah, I wanna play. I'm going to kick your ass." Heero snorted. He crawled towards the television set to switch on the TV and the game computer and I deliberately looked away so my gaze couldn't drift towards said ass. There was only so much a teenager like myself could do to keep his hormones in check. We spent the rest of the day playing our favorite first-person-shooter game. We battled each other the first few rounds and when we ended up with an equal amount of wins and losses, we decided to team-up to make our way through the levels of the game. We paused mid-game for dinner and went right back on our killing-spree as soon as we came back upstairs. It wasn't until it was nearly midnight and Heero decided that we had to go to bed, that I realized we hadn't completed our homework assignment for the next day. It was a minor assignment, the kind the teacher wouldn't even check on, but I was certain it was a first for a Heero to skip it. I didn't comment on it. I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but when he turned off the lights once we were both tucked in our beds and he gruffly wished me goodnight, I smiled. I was happy, relieved and even proud that today, I had been enough for him to distract him from his dark thoughts; he didn't need to pour over textbooks to occupy his mind. Nothing happened again that night, but still, I didn't get any sleep. We deleted the twenty-four hours of footage and started anew. At school at least we were away from Cameron and the sickening atmosphere that clung to that house, but we still had the bullies to deal with. Following the last incident, they had slashed the tires of Heero's bike and scratched 'WHORE', 'SLUT', 'FAGGOT' and more into the blue frame. They didn't get the reaction they had hoped for when they had observed us retrieving Heero's bike from the stands. Because it was exactly as we had expected, we didn't pay any attention to it and simply walked home together. It was only a matter of time until they would try something again, that much I knew. A few days later, they carved the same words into the door of Heero's locker, and mine too. When the principal called us to his office and asked us if we knew who had done it, we had both shaken our heads. The principal had notified Cameron of the incident, but our father only appeared amused over dinner that evening. The bullies were disappointed that they couldn't get a rise out of us, no matter what they called us - shouting it across the hallway, our whispering it amongst themselves in class. I was too worried about when Cameron would make his move, to be concerned about the negligible threat that the bullies posed. Thursday night our fate was sealed. It was a 'family' dinner like any other; pretentious, nerve-wracking and too long. But Cameron had a special surprise. "What's this?" Tabytha wondered innocently when Cameron excused himself between the main course and dessert and returned with a small, black box, tied with pink ribbons and placed that in front of her. She immediately forgot about her miniscule slice of chocolate cake. Cameron seated himself with a grin that was altogether too dark. "It's a present, for my beautiful wife," He doted on her, but he looked at Heero and I. "Open it." At his encouragement, she pulled on one end of the ribbon and the bow fell apart; the silk cascaded to either side of the box and she wasted little time lifting the lid. The excitement fell from her face initially. Given the size and shape of the box, she had been expecting jewelry, but instead the box only contained a card. She adjusted her features into a fake grin. "I wonder what this is for..." Cameron was wringing his hands together. She opened the card and concluded, her interest piquing: "A gift card for 'Campo Marzio'." She blinked at him. "Campo Marzio?" "It's a world-renowned perfume store. They sell the most exclusive fragrances. A special, sweet scent for a special, sweet woman." I stared at my chocolate cake, thinking to myself: Well, damn, there goes my appetite. And it was looking like heaving before. "Honey," She cooed, still not very impressed though, but she hid it reasonably well. With a sly smirk Cameron continued: "Oh and you'll need these," He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and produced a slim envelope. "Three plane tickets for you and two of your friends." She perked up. "First class?" "Of course." "Where are we going?" "Well, the Campo Marzio store is in Rome..." Tabytha squealed and gestured excitedly with her hands. "Oh, honey, thank you!" Instead of getting up to thank him she merely leaned in to give him a kiss and as she sat back she took the envelope with the plane tickets from him. Meanwhile, I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Heero also seemed to be mourning the loss of his appetite for his dessert. She glanced at the tickets and squealed again. "These tickets are for tomorrow!" "Surprise." Tabytha jumped up from her seat. "I have to pack right away! And call Brigida and Livia! Or maybe I should invite Prue... Or Candy?" She walked out of the dining room contemplating her options. Her high heels made stomping sounds on the steps of the stairs as she rushed up to the master bedroom. I felt like I could vomit but my heart, stuck high up in my throat would stop the bile. I shot a look across the table. My brother looked pale, but resigned. "It's going to be a boys-only-weekend," Cameron announced and he cleared the table of our untouched desserts. "We'll have to think of something fun to do." He had found a clever way to get rid of Tabytha, although honestly, I didn't think he would bother. Heero's bedroom provided more than enough privacy, even with Tabytha still in the house, as years of his abuse had demonstrated. It was all part of his mind game, I suspected, to let us know what was coming. To make us sick with dread. I hated that it worked, that he had the satisfaction of seeing my queasy face as I just sat there at the dining room table, completely useless and powerless. I had already known it was inevitable, but to be slapped across the face with the imminence of being forced to rape my friend, my own brother, was still a shock somehow. Through nudges and pulls Heero managed to get me out of my seat and up to his room - our room now, technically. He didn't say anything, he maneuvered me to sit in one of the desk chairs, then he stood by idly. My apathetic state confused him. As I slowly got out of it, I became aware of his finger nervously twitching against his thigh and the way he was staring at me. When he recognized I was coming back around, he admitted sheepishly: "I want to cut myself." I looked at his hand, resting against his thigh. With the nail of his index finger he scratched the fabric of his pants, picking at old scars through the fabric. "But I promised I would talk to you first before I would cut." I nodded dumbly, but had nothing else to offer. He stood there, his expression becoming increasingly confused. "If you are not going to talk me out of it, I'm not going to wait for your permission." I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. My heart fell when he pivoted on his heels and stalked into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, but didn't lock it. I cast my gaze down to my limp hands in my lap. I was so pathetic. Why couldn't I do this? Why couldn't I help this? Why was the feeling that we were making a mistake so powerful and undeniable? Why couldn't I think of another way? The sound of Heero rummaging through his toiletry bag for the necessary supplies filtered through the closed door. Even if I couldn't stop him, I shouldn't let him be alone. My hands balled into fists and after another second I got up and joined him in the bathroom. He didn't acknowledge my presence. He was in his usual spot on the floor, leaning against the side of the bathtub. His pants were around his ankles, he hadn't bothered to take off his shoes. I sat on the closed lid of the toilet, ignoring the white, opaque mirror above the sink in front of me. When he made the first cut, I couldn't look directly at it. I focused on his face instead. His features scrunched up in pain at first, but that expression didn't last. It all melted away and he completely relaxed. He took a deep breath and released it with a tremble. "Would you like to try it?" He didn't sound like himself when he offered me a fresh razor, still in the packaging. I swallowed and tried to talk, but couldn't get my throat or my mouth to work. I shook my head. "You'll feel better." That's exactly what I was afraid of. I didn't want to become addicted to it, like he seemed to be. I didn't want to need to do that. "He might give us drugs beforehand. That'll feel better too." He redirected his focus to make his second incision. "We should discuss how to... proceed... after..." Finding words was a struggle. My gaze was drawn by the trickle of blood along his creamy skin. I looked at the puddle of blood on the floor between his legs. I was struck by the realization that I would be between his thighs soon. That didn't feel right. That was such an invasion. I didn't even feel like I should be looking there, let alone being there, on top of him, between his legs. I looked away and faced the mirror and I was relieved I couldn't see my own reflection. "I don't want to talk about it right now." His voice softened as he spoke. His shoulders relaxed. He lost his grip on the razor and fell into the red pool on the white tiles. Ignoring his statement, I continued: "I think we should pack some things beforehand. Get some stuff ready. Like clothes and..." I made vague gestures. "I don't know when it'll happen, but we probably can't leave right away. Maybe we should leave for nightfall, when he's asleep. We can take Tabytha's car... We shouldn't go to the local police station, just in case they won't take us seriously and call Cameron to come get us. We should drive across the state-line. Just to be sure. I think. The evidence can't end up in the hands of someone he has wrapped around his little finger. That could be dangerous." I bit my lip. Would it really be so easy to escape? What if he expected us to bolt after the fact and had thought of a way of stopping us? What if he won't go to sleep that night and instead will wait for us to make a move, to catch us in the act? I remembered the handgun I had seen in the safe. If he had to stop us from leaving, to protect himself, he would take every measure. Fear gripped at me. I felt the color draining from my face. There were so many things that could go wrong. "You should have left when you had the chance." I blinked and twisted my neck to face him. He looked so miserable, sitting there. As his face paled, dark circles appeared under his eyes and the strength and dignity with which he carried himself deflated and left him appearing as a sickly, emaciated boy. I steeled my nerves and knelt down on the tiled floor before him. I regarded him sternly. "Leaving without you was never an option." "You could have saved yourself." He ignored eye contact and instead started drawing into the pool of his own blood with his index finger. "That's just it. I couldn't have saved myself by leaving sooner, without you. As long as you would still be here, so would be a part of me." "Which part?" "The part I like best." I offered a sad smile. "The part of me that isn't a despicable thing like him." The scary fact was that to prove to myself that I wasn't like my father, that I wasn't a monster, I had to do something that would bring me right to that edge and I feared losing my balance and falling into the exact abyss that perhaps every path in my life would lead to, paved by genetics. "There are a lot of parts to you..." He mumbled and his eyes glazed over with a tired confusion. "Yes, I guess there are." "It's very confusing." "You'll figure it out." I resisted the urge to ruffle his hair, even though my hand ached for it and I knew he would probably let me in his current, relaxed state. "You are a genius after all." I sat myself back on the toilet seat and waited for the ritual to be over. I even helped him clean up after himself and kept my hands within reach of him when he walked into the bedroom and to his chair, ready to support him should he get lightheaded. While he sat in the desk chair and watched me with unreadable eyes, I prepared some things. If we did succeed in our escape, there was no knowing when we would be able to go to Ruby, or even get a change of clothes. I felt like we had to be prepared. I grabbed some sweaters, pants and even underwear from his closet and put them in a plastic bag as opposed to the travel bag under his bed, just in case Cameron would come snooping and find it. I stuffed the bag into the back of the closet and readied some things for myself as well. The most important thing for me was the photo album. It was heavy and cumbersome, but it had to come with. It was all I had left of my mother. The next morning, as Heero and I were seated at the kitchen table poking at our breakfast, Tabytha was running around the household in a frantic state, packing some things last minute. Cameron had already left for work. "Did I burn the waffles, boys?" Tabytha asked, noting we hadn't taken a single bite. "We're not hungry." I glared at her and she immediately averted her eyes. She knew as well as we did why Cameron had gone out of his way to get rid of her this weekend, but she didn't dare to say anything. I didn't comment on it either, at that point I was afraid she might actually give Cameron a heads up, to protect her own, comfortable life-style. If we managed to get Cameron convicted, her life would fall apart, but I could feel no sympathy for her, even though she might be just another brainwashed victim, like Heero. At least Heero had tried to escape when he was younger, before he resigned to his horrible fate. Tabytha had never attempted to help him and had never defended him against her sick husband, she had only ever quietly stepped aside and looked the other way. "I'll be back Monday morning," She announced, as if we cared. Her friend arrived to pick her up and Tabytha wouldn't let her come into the house, instead she insisted that they should go right away. She was probably afraid of her friends noticing the gloomy state in which we were left by Tabytha and she might ask difficult questions. I looked out the kitchen window and watched the two women load Tabytha's two suitcases into the back of the friend's silver Mercedes, tip-toeing on those ridiculous shoes. When they drove off, my gaze shifted to the SUV in the driveway. "We have Tabytha's car," I pointed out. My brother was pretending to read the newspaper. "We could leave. This is our last chance." "We could leave," He agreed flatly, never looking up from the newspaper. "But we would be back here before the weekend is over." I bit my lips and stared at the parked car. I wished I could say that he was wrong, I wished I could say that and believe it. "Let's go. Or else we'll be late." He rose from his seat and slung his bag over his shoulder. "We could ditch class," I suggested. "I know you want to be a perfect student, but if everything goes as planned-" I swallowed, "-we won't be going back to that school come Monday anyway." "We can't skip. The principal will call Cameron. He'll know something is up." I sighed. "I guess you're right." I walked beside him with clenched fists. The tension in my body grew steadily. We didn't have any classes together that day and I dreaded not being at his side. "You'll be at your usual spot for lunch, right?" I verified nervously. He blinked at me. "I'm always at my usual spot. That is why you call it my 'usual spot'." "Right... just-... right." I nodded and watched him leave when our ways parted. He seemed so calm, whereas my body felt like every atom I was composed of was vibrating, threatening to shake apart the very fiber of myself. When I reminded myself that he was able to stay so calm and collected was because what was about to happen was nothing new for him - not really -I nearly had a mental breakdown in the middle of my English Literature class. But the hurt I felt for him fueled my determination. All day I was a bow-string pulled tight. I was wrecked with nerves. Heero's calm did not rub off on me during lunch. I kept wiggling my foot and picked at the frayed edge of a tear in my dark jeans. As the day crawled on, my body started to feel cold and shivers ripped through me, but my palms were clammy with sweat and I left wet handprints on everything I touched. For some reason, that made me feel self-conscious. During the last class of the day, all I could think about were those embarrassing handprints and hoping that no one would see them. I wrung my hands together in my lap and pulled the long sleeves of my black shirt down over my hands. When the bell rang, I didn't even hear it and I nearly leapt out of my seat, startled, when some girl's book bag brushed by my shoulder as she headed for the door. "Not in a hurry to start the weekend, Maxwell?" The teacher asked. I opened my mouth and was very close to blurting out everything, to push the responsibility to someone else, to an adult, to bathe myself in child-like innocence and incompetence. But in the end I said nothing, because it wouldn't help. The teacher couldn't help us. No one could help us. No one had ever even tried to help Heero. They were all too blinded or too scared. I wasn't blind. I was scared, but I had nothing to lose, so it didn't matter. I forced on a smile and stuffed my book and notepad into by bag and rushed out of the classroom. I jogged through the hallway, to meet up with Heero at the bike stand. I pushed the outside door open and nearly ran into another student. The sophomore looked at me uncomfortably and then hurried inside, ducking to pass underneath my arm that held the door open. Heero was standing by his bike, backed-up against the wall. He was looking down at the ground, avoiding eye-contact with the three bullies that had him cornered. Another student quickly got her bike and left the scene. "Cody!" I called to get the attention of the biggest boy. The bully turned his head and snarled at me: "My name is Brody!" I knew that, but I liked fucking with him. Obviously my attitude wasn't exactly de-escalating the situation. "What's going on here, Brad?" I took a step towards them. "His name is Brody," Corrected one of the others heatedly. "Are you deaf or just stupid?" "Both," Supplied the third. "Ouch." I made a face and continued sarcastically: "Hold on, let me get some ointment for that burn." "You think this is funny?" Brody challenged. He lunged forward and twisted his big fist into the front of Heero's shirt and pulled him up on the tips of his toes, all the while staring at me, daring me to do something. My fists clenched at my sides. The other two approached me, stepping around me to block off the exit. "Aren't you scared?" "Trust me, this is not the scary part of my weekend," I spat. Why couldn't they just leave us alone? Why today of all days? Why was everything so fucking unfair? I felt an enraged thing inside me, thrashing to free itself from the restraints I had on it. One of them, who had come to stand behind me, pushed me. I caught myself before I toppled forward. I didn't want to fight with them. I shouldn't fight with them. I shouldn't waste my time or energy on them. But the control was starting to slip away from me. A thread had come undone and they were pulling at it, unraveling the ties that bound my anger and my desperation, both of which actually had very little to do with these dumb guys. "I got a C for Spanish," Brody said, redirecting his attention to my brother. "I was just wondering if you would fuck him for me, to change his mind." "Shut up and let go of him," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm not talking to you, Other-Maxwell." He shook Heero until angry, cobalt blue eyes finally looked up at him. "You know mister Molina, right? He's still pretty young. Don't you think he's hot, little fag-boy?" I took a step and two hands landed on my shoulders, stopping me. "Surely you wouldn't mind fucking him to help me out, right?" He pressed on and then laughed mockingly. Heero stared at him for the longest time, until suddenly he spoke: "Fuck. You." And then he spat in his face. Brody raised his hand above his head to strike him in retaliation, to defend his honor, but before the blow could land I shook away from the guys holding onto me and I tackled Brody to the ground. The other two were quick to pull me off, but not before I got in a couple of punches. Heero didn't do anything, he stood there as the two of them hold onto me and Brody got up to punch me in the abdomen. Heero looked resigned, like he had done the math in his head and knew we couldn't win anyway, so we just had to suffer it. It was the same logic that had kept him from fighting back against Cameron all these years. I groaned and doubled over at the third punch, by which time Brody really started to get into it. My body tensed up, in preparation for the fourth blow, but it didn't happen. The door behind us swung open and a deep voice barked: "Break it up!" A second later the bullies let go of me and I sank to my knees to catch my breath. "What in the Hell is going on here?" An older man barked and I realized it was the principal. The head janitor was with him as back-up. One of the students that had snuck away must have alerted them to the confrontation by the bike stand. "He started it!" Brody pointed his finger at me and then at the bruise forming on his face. "Look what he did!" "The four of you, inside! My office, right now!" He commanded. The janitor grabbed me by my forearm and hoisted me up from the ground. He dusted off my knees and asked me if I was okay, but kept a tight grip on my arm. "Heero, you go home," The principal said. With Heero standing off the side, it must have looked like he wasn't part of it. I was being dragged inside. I told Heero: "Wait for me here." I didn't want him to go home alone. We were going to do this together. "No. No hanging around. I don't want any more trouble from you," Said the principal. "Go home, Heero." "Heero-" "Duo, it's fine. I'll see you at home. He's not home yet anyway." I grumbled as I was taken inside. I hoped Heero would still wait for me, but Heero didn't share my concerns and probably saw no danger in heading home without me. What if Cameron had come home from work early to prepare for this special weekend? I didn't want him to be alone with that creep. The janitor adjusted his grip from my arm to the collar of my shirt and shook me to stop my struggling. We were dumped into the seats in front of the principal's office and he gave us a routine lecture, pacing back and forth in front of us, with his hand folded behind his back. Occasionally he would pause and turn to face us and glare at us with his finger up in the air to assert his authority. We just sat there, slouched in our seats. I was anxious for him to hurry it along but I knew better than to try to rush him. He would only stall for the purpose of inconveniencing me. When he was finally done, he made us shake hands and promise to be civil from then on. I had no problem selling this lie. I knew I wouldn't back at school Monday anyway, whichever way this weekend would turn out, I would not be back. Whether I would be halfway to Florida, or buried in the back yard, I wouldn't come back. I thought we were done and free to go, but then the principal announced that he would call our parents and we would have to wait for them to come pick us up. Having Cameron find out about our trouble with bullies at school had been something Heero and I were actively avoiding, but it didn't matter much if he found out now anyway. It wouldn't make the weekend any worse than it was already going to be. I wasn't scared of him getting angry with me for being in a fight anymore. The other guys protested, but they were quickly silenced. Seated next to me, they murmured under their breath: "My dad is going to kill me" and "This is the worst." I had to refrain myself from lunging at them again and choking the life out of them. Their troubles were so minor and insignificant and in the meantime they were making Heero's shitty life that much worse and they enjoyed it too. I clenched my fists in my lap. I was never going to let anybody treat Heero the way Cameron treated him and I was never going to let anybody treat him the way these assholes treated him either. My resolve was absolute. If Heero would let me stay by his side, I was going to fiercely protect him from everyone and everything. One by one the guys were picked up by their parents and I waited. When I was the last to remain, the principal emerged from his office and announced: "I called your father, but he can't come to get you. So you are free to go home by yourself. But I told him everything about the trouble you've been getting into, so you can expect an earful." "Sure." I was relieved, more than anything. If he couldn't come pick me up meant he was still at work, so Heero was fine. For the time being. I checked the bike stands and looked around by the main entrance of the school grounds and just as I had predicted, Heero hadn't stuck around and had gone home alone against my advice. I walked home with my hands tucked into the pockets of my jeans. After an unusual calm in my mind - the calm before the storm - the nerves crept in again. Would it be tonight? Would he wait until tomorrow? Maybe nothing would happen and he was still just fucking with our minds? I snorted at my naiveté. I rounded the corner, into our street and stopped dead in my tracks. Cameron's dark sedan was in the driveway, next to Tabytha's S.U.V. He was home. Why? And what was keeping him so busy that he couldn't come pick me up, if he wasn't at work? For a moment I couldn't move. The instinct of self-preservation urged me to turn around and run away, run as far as my lead feet could take me and leave the dead weight of my heavy heart behind because that would only slow me down. My feet moved. I started running. I sprinted towards the red front door of the house, struggling to fish the keys out of my pocket along the way. My trembling hand had a hard time inserting the key into the lock. I was panting, but not from the short run. With every breath my abdomen ached from the short beating I had suffered at the hands of Brody, but the dull pain was easy to ignore. The door opened and I stumbled inside. "Hello?" I cringed at how afraid I sounded. There was no response and my heart climbed up into my throat, constricting everything. They are in Heero's room, I thought. It's happening. This is it. Glimmering around the looming shape of my fear and anxiety, was a sense of victory, like the silver lining along a dark cloud. Whatever was happening, and whatever was going to happen, the camera was recording everything. But I hated that I had to stop and think if I should go up there or just 'let it play out'. I wanted to protect him, but at the same time the whole purpose was to gather evidence, I shouldn't interrupt that. I started to sneak towards the kitchen. I wanted to go into the garage and have a listen, to try and determine what was going on. I wasn't even three steps away from the front door when I heard his voice. "Duo." My heart dropped back down, straight into my stomach, like a brick. I looked up. Standing at the top of the staircase, looking down at me with a smug smirk, was Cameron, with his arms folded in front of his chest. He was wearing a deconstructed version of his suit; pressed slacks and button-up shirt, but rolled-up sleeves and loose tie snaked around his neck. "Close the door, Duo." I did as instructed. I pushed the door shut. I wasn't going to run. "Where's Heero?" There was no point to playing pretend, so my tone was dark and demanding. "Come up here." "Where is my brother?" Cameron shook his head at me. "He is not your brother. You are not brothers. You are not allies. I'll make sure you both understand that from now on." "Where is he?" The words came out trembling that time and he laughed. My jaw clenched. "He's right here." He motioned at the open door of the master bedroom to his left. Shit. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Come upstairs, Duo. Right now." My mind raced. This wasn't part of the plan. Suddenly I felt really stupid for assuming that it would happen in Heero's bedroom. With Tabytha gone, the entire house was at Cameron's disposal, we should have known that it wouldn't necessarily be in Heero's bedroom! I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't let him make us do it, not if it didn't leave us with any evidence after the fact. Trying my best to go back to feigning innocence, I patted my school bag and said: "Sure thing. Give me a second, I'm just going to put away my bag." I had every intention of getting the biggest knife from the kitchen. Cameron adjusted his stance. He reached one hand behind his back and when he brought it to the front again he was holding the hand gun that I had seen before. "No, Duo. Put your bag on the floor and get up here." My breath hitched in my throat. With shaky hands I slipped the strap of my bag off my shoulder and the hefty thing fell to the hardwood floor with a thud. "O-okay." While keeping my gaze trained on him, I started climbing the steps of the stairs. Cameron stepped aside, giving me a wide berth so I couldn't try anything. He gestured for me to head into his bedroom. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, my throat swelled and started to burn. It was difficult to swallow and difficult to breathe. I was hit with an unbearable myriad of emotion when I spotted Heero sitting on the bed. He was fully dressed and he seemed fine, but finally the full weight of what was going to happen hit me. I noticed Heero was wearing the clothes we had bought him during that weekend: the tight jeans and the fitted white shirt. Cameron, as if able to read my mind, supplied: "I asked him to change. He looks so good in those clothes and obviously you think so too, or you wouldn't have picked them out for him. Doesn't he look good?" I kept my back turned towards Cameron as I stood in the center of the room feeling like a useless piece of shit. "Doesn't he look good?" Cameron pressed, his voice dropping and becoming more menacing. When he shut the door all air got sucked out of the room and I became lightheaded. At my lack of response, he repeated the inquiry, even more threatening. "Yes," I croaked. "Yes, what?" "Yes, he looks good." Cameron hummed in agreement and pulled one of the lounge seats in the corner towards the door, dragging it across the carpet. He sat down to make himself more comfortable while conveniently blocking our only escape route. "Tell us what you like about the outfit." I grimaced. All the while Heero was staring at me, with that dead-calm expression. I couldn't decide if I was comforted or frightened by how little all this affected him. I let out a single sob and couldn't maintain eye-contact with him anymore. My father let out a breathy chuckle at my despair and humiliation. "The clothes make his body look good, don't they?" He answered for me. "The white shirt contrasts nicely with his golden skin. And the jeans are so tight. He still has the waist of a twelve-year-old boy." I shuddered. "Get onto the bed, Duo." "I don't want to." "Yes, you do." "No, I don't!" I screeched. I heard movement behind me but before I could react a big hand wrapped around the back of my neck and I was thrown forward, towards the bed. "Get in." His voice remained even. He seated himself again. I climbed onto the mattress, at the foot of the bed, about as far removed from Heero as the expanse of the bed allowed. Heero, sitting on the right side with his back against the headboard, pulled his knees up to his chest, the first and only sign that he might be as uncomfortable and afraid as I was. "Sit next to him." I did as I was told because I had no idea how to resist without endangering both our lives. Sitting next to Heero put me in a position that forced me to face Cameron, but I purposefully avoided looking at him. I didn't look at Heero either, I stared at the window, at the tree outside and the blue sky beyond. Everything felt so far away; freedom, happiness, tranquility, love, dignity, safety, they were all unreachable. I finally got a real glimpse at what Heero had been feeling since he was just a little boy and sinking into a place of helplessness and hopelessness, I finally truly understood why Heero had surrendered to it, because the window to the outside world looked like a frame picture on a solid, concrete wall and fighting back seemed dangerously futile. "I don't like the way you've been trying to undermine me," Cameron announced. "You want Heero to think he can do better that this? That things will be different for him as long as he's with you?" I bit my lip. "And you want to think you are not like me?" I squeezed my eyes shut and tears rolled down my cheeks. "It is time to bring an end to that illusion. This is where you both belong and this is who you really. Things will get much easier for you once you accept that. You'll have fun in the process, I'm sure." From the sound of his voice I could tell he was smirking. I shook my head uselessly. "Heero is going to show you a good time." On cue Heero scooted closer to me. Our shoulders and hips pressed together. Heero wasn't looking at me, he was looking at Cameron. He hesitated, but then he asked: "Can we have something?" I realized he was asking for drugs to dull the experience. "No. I want you both to really feel it." The Japanese boy nodded in acceptance and then placed his hand on my thigh. I couldn't stop myself. I started to cry. My torso shook with sobs. Cameron laughed. "It won't hurt," Heero assured me. "Yes, it will." He didn't know what I meant. I wrapped my arms around myself and dropped my head. "Don't do this, Duo. It will be bad if we don't cooperate. Please." He reached up his hand and wiped away my tears. He wasn't exactly sympathetic, he only bothered to comfort me for practical reasons. He needed me to play along, to do as we were commanded. He didn't want to be subjected to Cameron's punishment. "I can't do this," I mewled pathetically. "I can. I know what to do." My heart fell and shattered into a million, sharp, jagged pieces; each one of them pricked into my insides like a needle. "It shouldn't be like that," I whispered. Both our gazes darted to Cameron, seated by the door, when he started to clap. "Isn't this a beautiful scene?" He mocked. "I'm so touched." His act changed on a dime. His eyes became black pools underneath hooded eyebrows and his tone lowered when he ordered: "Now turn this romance into a porno before I lose my patience." I froze when Heero's hand moved up and covered the front of my jeans. His fingers started to massage the bulge. His expression was one of focus, like he was trying to do well on a test, remembering his studies. My entire body stiffened except for that part of me. "Don't, please don't," I pleaded Heero, as if he was in control, as if he had any more say in the matter than I did. "It's okay. Let's just get it over with." He applied more pressure and tried different techniques, but nothing was happening. Worry an irritation appeared on his features in the form of pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. "You can do better than that, Heero," Cameron purred. To my shock Heero maneuvered himself to straddle my lap. He had never been so close and it was startling to be surround by his warmth and his smell and he was all I could see. One arm wrapped around my neck. His forehead pressed against mine. The other hand was still working the bulge between my legs. I didn't think anything would happen. I hoped nothing would happen. But suddenly it did. My own body betrayed me and reacted to the stimulation. My penis started to firm up and I whimpered in dismay and embarrassment. "It's okay. It's good," Heero said. Cameron caught on what was happening and let out a satisfied chuckle. "Feels good, doesn't it, Duo? He's good at that, isn't he?" "Please stop..." He didn't. Instead, he whispered in response: "I'm sorry." Then he swiftly unbuttoned the front of my jeans and worked his hand inside, into the underwear as well and he pulled the swollen arousal out of the confinement of the clothing. My gaze shot down to my lap, to his golden hand pumping up and down my reddened member. I quickly looked away again, to the window, to the outside world that looked increasingly abstract and unrealistic, as if it had never been there and the artist had painted a poor reconstruction of what it might have looked like, without truly understanding the openness and freedom of it. "Kiss him, Heero?" "On the mouth?" He asked. "Yes." Heero tilted his head to align our faces and pressed his lips against my. I kept my mouth firmly shut. I closed my eyes as well. "Make him feel good, Heero. Show him everything I taught you." But Heero couldn't do much with my lips so tight and shut and I wasn't going to let him. He moved his lips to kiss my face and neck routinely. Cameron's presence in the room was a nauseating thing, like an acrid stench that you couldn't help but breathe in and then taste in your mouth as well. Heero sat back. His hand stilled. "Uhm..." I opened my eyes and saw him looking completely lost. "What's the problem?" Cameron asked impatiently. "He's gone soft." I checked myself and was relieved to see it was the truth. My flaccid manhood was in his hand. He gave it a few fruitless tugs but didn't make an earnest effort. I wanted to weep when I saw the insecure expression on his face. "It's not you," I assured him in a low voice. "Duo! Don't make the boy feel bad!" Cameron chastised. "He has worked so hard to get as good as he is and he's still not good enough for you?" He cackled. "If you can't get it up, maybe we should use the opportunity to teach Heero a new skill... Maybe he should fuck you." Heero and I both blanched. "I'm sure that now that Heero is older I can find some clients who would like that too." Heero climbed off me. "I don't want to do that." His statement was very resolute. He didn't want to put me through what he had been through, not understanding that it would be just as bad for me to rape him as it would be for him to rape me. With Cameron glaring at Heero, I used the opportunity to tuck myself back into my underwear and button-up my jeans. "I don't want to hurt him," My brother added. His protest caused Cameron to rise from his seat. "You will do as I tell you. You both will. You boys need to learn that, once and for all." He took a threatening step towards us. "One of you better fuck the other, right now. We don't have all weekend. I have other plans for tomorrow. Some friends are coming over that I'd like to introduce you to." My stomach turned. Heero looked at me desperately. "Just do it, Duo. Just fuck me, it will be fine. I can handle it." I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "You still don't understand? Just like you don't want to hurt me, I don't want to hurt you!" "I can handle it! I'm used to it!" The pitch of his tone changed, he was getting upset. His eyes became watery and glassy and reflected in them was a deep-rooted fear. "I won't do it!" I yelled at him. Cameron rushed forward and grabbed me by the base of my braid. I yelped and kicked my feet and held onto his forearm to take some of my weight off my hair as he dragged me off the bed and across the floor. "If you won't fuck him, I will." He let go of me and before I could scramble to my feet he kicked me in the stomach, further upsetting my already abused torso, but his boot landed much harder than Brody's punches. I groaned and curled in on myself. He moved around me and kicked me against my back and my legs and stomped on my side and my hip. When he stopped, I couldn't really breathe. I sucked in a wheezing breath but it only hurt my body more, like another kick in the ribs. "Stop it!" Heero screamed and I heard something that sounded like a smack. "Get back on the bed!" Cameron barked. "You said I was too old for you!" "I need to teach you a lesson. You still belong to me." I rolled over so I could see what was happening. My entire body protested. I saw Cameron push his adoptive son onto the bed and he produced a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. Heero struggled until Cameron raised his hand in the air as another threat and the action generated a conditioned response. Heero went still and allowed his right wrist to the cuffed to the headboard. Alarms were going off in my head. Move! Move! Move! I got up on my hands and knees, took as deep of a breath as I could manage and managed to straighten up. Cameron was already stalking towards me, the gun in his right hand, down at his side. I hurried for the door, ripped it open and stepped into the hallway. I wasn't going to run, but I needed to weapon to fight him with, so I reverted to my earlier plan: get a big knife from the kitchen. However, I was barely outside the master bedroom when his foot connected with the back of my leg and the impact threw off my balance and I tumbled to the floor again. I tried to crawl away on my hands and knees, not able to get up, but he walked around me and kicked me against my head, flooring me again. "Stop it! Don't hurt him!" Heero screamed and he fought to free himself from his restraint without success. "We'll do whatever you want! We're sorry!" Cameron ignored his pleas and addressed me: "You're not going anywhere. You are going to watch me fuck him. Maybe that will get you hard." I rolled onto my back, clutching my nose. Blood gushed out of the nostrils and I could taste it in my mouth. I nearly choked on the amount of it. My father reached down and hooked his hands under my arms and raised me up to take me back to the bedroom. Heero stood next to the bed, pulling at the cuffs that bound him to the woodwork of the headboard, regarding me with wide, frightened eyes. Seeing him like that re-sparked my will to fight. I wasn't going to Cameron touch him. Before he could push me back into the room, I shook free from his grip, spun around, and flung my fist towards him. The knuckles impacted with his face with an audible crack, but I hurt my hand more than his jaw, it appeared. He stumbled back a little, but was unimpressed by my blow. I tried hitting him again, but his left hand caught my fist and the fingers of his right hand enclosed around my neck and he slammed me back against the wall, next to the bedroom door. The stairs were right behind him, only three feet away. While my hands struggled to loosen the vice he had on my throat, I kneed him in his abdomen and tried to get him off balance. He let out a deep oomph and took a step back to get out of the reach of my knees. I kicked him against his shins, wanting to inch him closer and closer to the top of the stairs, but when he cast a look over his shoulder he realized what I was trying to do. He yanked me away from the wall. I couldn't breath and I didn't have much strength left to resist him. He turned us around, so it was me standing at the very edge of the top step. I held onto his wrist with both hands. I couldn't think anymore. Instinct kicked in and all I could do was claw at his arm, even though it wasn't helping me. "Fine, you don't have to watch," He hissed. He coiled his free hand back, curled around the handgun, that he must have had tucked in the back of his pants. He simultaneously cracked my cheekbone with the butt of the gun while his right hand released the grip he had on me. The punch was so powerful I forgot to breath when I finally could. I started falling backwards and tried to squeeze my fingers around his wrist to pull him down with me, but I was powerless. My nails scratched along his skin as I lost my grip. The start of the fall happened in slow-motion. I watched his smirking face disappear from my line of sight. The ceiling was all I could see. Then I felt the first impact: the sharp edges of the hardwood steps, three along my back, and I hit another with the back of my head. With the momentum my legs flipped over my torso and I tumbled further down, twisting to the side. As I rolled down the entire flight of stairs, I crushed my right shoulder, contorted my legs and hit my head a second time. My body was forced into another flip at the bottom of the staircase and I landed on the foyer floor face-first. Coming to a sudden stop was another painful shock in and of itself. My organs felt displaced within my torso. Where-ever the lungs were, they sucked in a deep breath and it was the worst pain yet. My brain was scrambled. My vision was unfocused and dimmed. Heero's screams were drowned out by an annoying, high-pitched tone that rang in my ears. Then everything went quiet. The pain went away. And everything went dark. But then someone was crying. I listened to the whimpers and the wails. They confused me. Was I crying? No. Mom? I opened my eyes and I saw... colors. I blinked. Shapes with blurred lines appeared. Another blink. A side table. A vase. A mirror on the wall. Coats. But everything was inverted. I was on the floor. Why was I on the floor? Someone groaned. In pain. No. Not in pain. Beastly, heated groans. Someone else was still crying. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep, but I shouldn't sleep on the floor. My mother would think I was crazy. I moved my arms to push myself up from the floor but an intense, sharp pain shot through my body and the pain made me remember. Heero! A panic washed over me. I had no idea how long I was out cold for. I could hear them upstairs. It didn't matter if it had been two minutes or two hours, it was happening now and I had to get up! However, I couldn't move my right arm, much less use it to push myself up from the floor, the shoulder hurt too much and my body simply refused. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the pain, and rolled onto my back, biting back my own cries. Supporting myself with my left hand, I was able to sit up. I clambered upright, holding onto the bannister. The stairs loomed over me, they seemed insurmountable. Everything hurt. My shoulder and my head were the worst, but my hips, back and legs also ached. Still, I had to get up there. I put my foot up on the first step and hoisted myself up by the bannister. The pain rendered my body uncoordinated, but I had to push through it. The further upstairs I got, the more it hurt, but the easier it became for me to control my body. The sounds coming from the bedroom fueled my adrenaline and I was able to work through the pain. The door was closed and I tried to doorknob, only to find it was locked. I beat my fist against the door, startling them both. "You motherfucker! I'm going to kill you!" I screamed. "Duo!" Heero called but then yelped and went quiet. "Give me a minute," Cameron responded through gritted teeth and he continued with his sickening grunts. The bed moved; it creaked and the headboard banged against the wall. "You piece of shit!" I hit the door again. "You piece of shit!" Tears rushed down my face. I was as frustrated as I was upset. I tried to kick to door in, but to no avail. I had to get that door open. "I'm coming back for you, Heero!" I called. "I'm not leaving you!" Ignoring the pain in my limbs and my torso I went back downstairs, as swift as I could manage. My left hand sought purchase on the walls as I moved through the house to the door leading into the garage. I had to get a hammer, an axe, a crowbar, anything! I stumbled into the garage, barely able to catch myself against Cameron's fucking motorcycle. My gaze scoured the wall. I only spotted regular, small hammers, nothing appropriate for busting through a solid door. No axe either. But then I noticed the crowbar hanging off the edge of Heero's workbench. I snatched the black piece of steel and raced through the house. The pain had been dulled by the adrenaline and although I could barely move my right arm due to my shoulder, which I figured might have been dislocated, I had to face Cameron. I had no idea how I was going to fight him in my state, especially considering he still had the gun, but I wasn't thinking that far ahead. I had to get that door open first. I stood at the bottom of the staircase, a little shell-shocked when the bedroom door opened and Cameron stepped out into the hallway, tucking his shirt into his pants and slipping the handcuffs into the front pocket. I held up the crowbar defensively. He knew I was standing there, but he casually straightened his clothes before acknowledging me. "You're tougher than I thought." He reached back and fished the handgun out of the back of his belt. He pointed it straight at me for the first time. I tried to swallow but my mouth had gone so dry I ended up coughing. I tightened my grip on the crowbar, as if I stood any chance. My father slowly came down the stairs, keeping the gun trained on me. Upstairs it was completely quiet. Why was it quiet? Why didn't he need the handcuffs for Heero anymore? "What have you done to him?" I croaked. I took a step back as he kept nearing me. "You heard what I did to him." "Did you kill him? After?" He let out a dry laugh. "I'm not going to kill Heero. He's too valuable." "Isn't he too old for you?" He shrugged. "I had fun anyway. And clients will always be lining up for an exotic beauty like him. Even when he is no longer a boy. And they will express their gratitude by giving me access to their little boys next door... their young nephews... their own sons." "You're a monster." "I'm your father." He smirked. "Drop the crowbar." I tightened my sweat-slicked hands around it. "Drop it." Not knowing how to fight an armed man with just a crowbar and a broken body, I lowered the tool to the floor and kicked it away when he told me to do so. He laughed. "Hmm. I spoke too soon. You are not tough after all. You're weak. Soft. Like Heero." He closed the distance between us and pressed the muzzle of the gun against my forehead. "If only your damn mother wouldn't have stolen you away from me." "My mother should have stabbed out your eyeballs while you slept," I hissed. "But she didn't. And neither did Tabytha. And neither did Heero. Because I am in control. You are all powerless against me." "You're full of shit!" I spat. Before I could react, he hit me again, with the gun and the dizzying blow caused me to fall. Sprawled on the floor, I looked up at him standing over me. He held the gun over his head. He wasn't going to shoot, he enjoyed beating me. "Just fucking kill me if that's what you want to do!" "I'm not sure yet if I want to kill you," He said coldly. He bent over, twisted his hand into the front of my shirt and half pulled me up. "Like I said: I have some friends coming over tomorrow." "They won't get to lay on hand on me. And not on Heero either." I looked upstairs and called: "Heero! Heero!" Maybe if we could outnumber him... He struck me again, letting go of my shirt so I would fall again. "Heero won't help you. He won't fight me. He knows better." I scrambled to crawl away from him, to create some distance between us. I flailed my legs, kicking him against his shins and ankles, then tried to pull away from him. I inched closer to the kitchen. I managed to get away from him while he laughed at me and got up on my feet. When he realized I was heading for the kitchen to get a knife he was quick to chase me. He kicked against the back of my leg. I stopped myself from falling by grabbing onto the doorpost and then I stumbled further into the kitchen. He walked around me, around the kitchen island and reached the block of knives on the kitchen counter before I did. Confident in his own physical prowess he tucked the gun into his belt, on the small of his back and pulled the large chef knife from the block. His eyes gleamed. "This should be fun." He widened his stance and challenged me to lunge at him. I looked around myself. The only things within reach were the kitchen towels, spoons, whisks and baking pans. I ripped one of the towels off the hook and wrapped it around my hand. I charged towards him and when he stuck out the knife I grabbed hold of the blade with the hand that was protected by the towel wrapped around it. The several layers of fabric prevented the sharp knife from cutting into my palm, for now. I squeezed tight so he couldn't pull it back. Cameron growl, finally starting to lose his cool. He tackled me to the floor and pinned me down; sitting on my torso and pressing both of my wrists to the floor with his knees. He gave up on trying to free the knife from my grip and instead enclosed both hands around my throat and proceeded to choke me. My face became red and hot. My eyes started to hurt as they became bloodshot. I wiggled my body in an attempt to get his weight off me but I was too immobilized and too hurt to exert any real strength. "Heero will just have to work twice as hard to entertain my friends tomorrow," Cameron hissed. He pulled me up a little by my neck and then slammed the back of my head down on the floor for good measure. I started to convulse. My legs thrashed. I felt like my face was burning and my eyes would explode from the pressure. Tears rushed down my temples as I had to admit to my failure. I could only hope that Ruby would soon realize our plan had failed and that she would somehow find Heero and get him out of this place. Or maybe, once the school would clear out my locker, the right person would find the notebook in which I had detailed the abuse Heero had suffered at the hands of this monster and finally do something about it. Suddenly a streak of black slashed through my dimmed vision and I heard something cut through the air with a swoosh. Then a crack resounded and the fingers constricting my throat went lax. Cameron fell to the right of me, his eyes rolling back into the sockets and Heero was revealed standing over us, holding the crowbar, dressed in nothing but his button-up shirt and briefs. I coughed and dry-heaved while clutching at my throat. The air I sucked in desperately burned my throat and my ribs protested against the sharp heaving of my chest but I needed to breathe. Breathe! Heero froze for a moment but then his face contorted and he swung the crowbar again, hitting the unconscious man against his broad back. And then again, against the back of his thigh. And again, on his shoulder. "Hee-o," I could hardly speak. "Hee-o... sto-... Stop. Heero." In spite of the pain I got up on my feet and gently touched his upper arm to make him stop swinging the steel tool. "It's okay," I said in a whisper, because it was all I could manage. "It's okay. You're safe. We're safe." He dropped the crowbar to the floor. Without thinking I pulled him into a hug. Heero pressed his nose against my shoulder and I ignored the pain. His entire body was trembling. "It's okay. Shhh..." I petted his unruly hair and pressed a kiss against his forehead. I bit my lip. "Did he use a condom?" I resented that I had to ask him, but it was important. "No..." Heero whimpered. I nodded and held him tighter to me. We may not have been able to get the video evidence as intended, but at least we did have some kind of evidence; inside Heero's abused body. There wasn't any time to spare though. We couldn't risk sticking around too long, in case one of the neighbors had overheard the ruckus and had called the police - Cameron's buddies - and I had to get Heero to a hospital. We had to get out of there, only then would we be truly safe. I pulled back and made him look me in the eyes. "Wait here, okay? I'm going to get our things and we are going to get the fuck out of here, okay?" His blue eyes were dull and glazed over. "Is he dead?" Was all he thought to ask. I looked at Cameron's body on the floor. I wasn't sure if Heero wanted him to be or not, I couldn't tell from his inflection. I told Heero to stay put and I walked over and crouched down by his big body. I leaned in close and heard his shallow breaths. "He's alive," I declared. The thought crossed my mind that we should kill him, but I didn't want to do anything that could cause more harm than good. Besides, he was going to prison and there was one thing that even thieves, murderers and drug dealers were disgusted by: child molesters. Cameron would wish he was dead and one of his fellow inmates could very well oblige him. I pulled the gun free from his belt and put it on the kitchen counter. I grabbed both his limp hands and with a grunt I dragged him over the far wall, where steel pipes fed the radiator. Using the very handcuffs he had used on Heero I cuffed him to one of the steel pipes, with his hands behind his back. My brother had lowered himself down onto the floor. He sat in the corner of the kitchen cabinets, hugging his legs to his chest. His eyes were blank and stared at nothing. "Hey... Are you okay? Heero?" I kneeled in front of him and tried to get him to look at me but he was completely spaced out. I realized he was in shock. "It's okay. I'll be right back. It's okay." I left to get our things from Heero's room: clean clothes and my mother's photobook. And I plucked the keys of Tabytha's SUV from the bowl on the end table in the hallway and went ahead and put our stuff in the car. Walking past Cameron I stopped and stared down at him. He looked much smaller, sitting there, slumped over, head drooping, hair falling around his face. He seemed powerless. It seemed like he would never be able to hurt us again. But I knew that was not the truth. He would still be as big, tall and looming in our heads as ever and it would take a long time for that memory of him to become small and powerless as well. I shook my head. I shouldn't worry about that until later. Heero was still sitting where I left him. He was completely paralyzed. With a grunt I lowered myself onto my knees by his side. "Heero?" I tugged at his arm but couldn't get him to move. I panicked a little. "Heero. Come on. Get up. We have to go." I pulled harder but he just tensed up more. "You fought back," I commended him. "Now you have to keep fighting." There was no response. His widened eyes stared at nothing. I sighed. "Heero, get up. I can't carry you like this." I pointedly looked down at my own, broken body. Then I clenched my jaw and announced resolutely: "You know what? Fuck it. Yes I can." I maneuvered his arm around my neck, wrapped one of my arms around his torso and hooked the other under his knees. The pain in my right shoulder was blinding and my first attempt to get him up from the floor failed. I cursed and tried again and managed to straighten up with a growl. I leaned back a little to adjust my center of gravity and maintain my balance, ignoring the painful protest of my muscles. I carried him to the car and settled him in the passenger seat and even fastened his seatbelt for him. I got into the driver's seat and had trouble shifting the car into reverse with my aching right arm, but I pushed through the pain. I tore the car out of the driveway, shifted into forward, and sped off. My left hand curled tightly around the steering wheel. It was dark outside and I struggled to focus on the road. All the streetlights and headlights flashing by distracted me, every flicker of light startled me. I was on edge. It wasn't until we reached the highway that I could calm down a little, as more and more distance was put between us and that house. Because Heero was only wearing a shirt and underwear, I turned up the heat and started playing with the navigation until I figured out how to get it to give me directions to a hospital a few towns over, across the state-line. I wanted to make sure that the cops that would be called to the hospital to come meet us were no associates of our father. It was a three-hour-drive. Heero was still shell-shocked. I didn't say much, only occasionally assured him that we were fine and that I would keep him safe. He didn't respond to anything. We reached the hospital and I parked the car half on the curb by the entry to the emergency room. I walked around the vehicle and didn't even bother to ask him if he could walk. I unfastened his seatbelt and lifted him out of the car. I gritted my teeth as I fought against the pain in my body and carried him through the automated doors, into a crowded waiting room. A child was crying. Beyond a set of doors doctors and nurses were running around, helping patients. I stood at the center of the space, about the break down, but I composed myself with a deep breath, even though that hurt. A nurse and a doctor approached us. They looked more concerned about my well-being, with my visual bruises, blood-shot eyes and red marks on my throat, than Heero's. "What happened?" The doctor asked. Before I could even respond he produced a penlight from his pocket and flashed it in front of Heero's eyes, alerted to the state the teenage boy was in. It just blurted out of me, in front of all those people: "Our father raped him." As soon as I said it, I started to weep. They wanted to take Heero from me, but I wouldn't let them, so we were guided through the double doors, down a long hallway, to a private room in the back where they asked me to place him on the awaiting gurney. Even though he was starting to get heavy in my arm and my body ached, I didn't want to let go of him. I was so afraid of making a mistake, or trusting the wrong people. But when I studied the faces of the doctor and the nurse, I knew it would be alright and I placed Heero on the gurney. "You are very badly beat-up," The doctor noted. "We should take care of you injuries." "Later," I said. He nodded in understanding. "Nurse Samara will stay with you. I'm going to get doctor Duygu and she will take good care of you." This doctor Duygu was probably a specialist. She was quick to arrive and looked Heero over for visible injuries. Aside from a bruise on his face, he appeared fine. Physically, at least. She took us to another room, one floor up. The room had sand-colored walls, a dark, soft couch, potted plants, a bed and a privacy partition. The doctor spoke to Heero in a comforting, sympathetic tone, but he was not responding to her either. Nurse Samara brought in a tray of equipment and a box marked "SOEC"; a rape-kit. They left us alone for a little while, to give Heero time to come out of his state. She urged me to have my injuries looked after but I refused. I sat by the bed. In the silence I heard the clock tick. It was oddly hypnotizing. I heard voiced just outside the door and the static crackle of a radio. The police were here. A small sound coming from the bed drew my attention. I gazed upon Heero, lying curled on the bed, and it took a while for his soft sobs and the tears on his face to register. "Heero..." I leaned in close and clutched both his hands. I felt them tremble. I wanted to tell him every would was okay and that he was fine, but that wasn't the case. Not yet. Instead I said, my voice cracking: "I'm sorry." His sobs grew louder. His eyes reflected an unbearable suffering. We weren't free quite yet, it wasn't that simple, I realized that now. It wasn't over, the real pain had only just begun. I could tell part of him regretted taking this step, exposing himself to these feelings. He had left his armor at home and he was assaulted by the full realization of what had been done to him and it was painful to watch that dawn on him, to see him feel it - really feel it - for the first time. I could offer him nothing to ease his pain. All I could do was hold his hands, rest my head on the pillow, next to his and cry with him. We both spent out tears and exhausted ourselves with out sobs. There was a polite knock and the doctor and the nurse didn't come inside until they were invited in. "Heero," Doctor Duygu started softly. "I want to examine you and collect evidence. But we won't do anything without your permission. Nobody will touch you without your permission, or do anything that you are uncomfortable with. Do you understand me?" He wouldn't look at her. She exchanged a glance with me and then resumed: "It's okay if you need more time. Or if you don't want to do this at all. You are in control." Woth his eyes fixed on mine, he said with hoarse voice: "We didn't kill him." I shook my head. "No. But he will go to prison. He will be punished." "Only if I let them examine me." My gaze flitted to the doctor and then back to him. "Maybe. I don't know. It would help, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." The doctor used the moment of silence that fell between us to inform us of the procedure and that he could stop of skip a step whenever he felt uncomfortable. She explained that he could undress himself behind the partition so his clothes could be collected as evidence, she would examine him from head-to-toe, including an internal exam of the rectum, take swabs of skin surfaces, the rectal area and the mouth, get scraping from underneath his fingernails and collect hairs and other physical evidence if those were to be found. She chose her words very carefully to make sure he wouldn't be pressured. In the end, Heero nodded his consent. "You tell us whenever you want the examination to stop and then we will stop," She reminded him. Then she nodded at me and asked him: "Can he stay or do you want him to leave the room?" I took a step back, prepared to be asked to leave, but Heero's hand tightened around mine and he wouldn't let me go. "I want him to stay," He said. "He's my brother." THE END Hopefully you can understand why I didn't have them kill Cameron and why I didn't forward through time to detail what happened to him exactly. The point of the story is that as soon as Heero fought back (hit him with the crowbar) Cameron became unimportant and I didn't want the characters of Heero and Duo to pay too much attention to him after that, or for the story to circle back to Cameron, taking the focus away from Heero and Duo. Explicit revenge may be enjoyable to read at this point, but it actually does nothing to help the victims. I understand that you also may have been hoping for the story to end on a more romantic note and that was the initial plan, but a few chapters back I realized it wouldn't be healthy for that to happen within this timeframe. At some point I did have an epilogue in mind, but I'm not sure about that anymore, so until further notice I am going to mark this as: Complete. For those who skipped that part of the story: Heero and Duo did not have sex. Heero tried jerking him off but Duo couldn't sustain his erection.
Chapter 17 |