|
"Hiding in Plain Sight " Written By: Stone Angel
Disclaimer: I WISH I was making money off this.
And I wish I owned the characters. But, sadly, they're just my playthings
and other people who are richer and happier than I can claim otherwise. Rating: R Warnings: One Shot, Angst, Angst, a few tiny spoilers,
SARCASM!, language, cynicism, even MORE sarcasm, my personal fucked
up views on people. Possible "Cannon". (cringe) That's like
a dirty word in the fic world, huh? Authors Notes: Hi. ^_^' Ok, this
fic was bothering me for a few days, DESPITE my attempts to get it
to go away, and then Bob came back the last night while I was TRYING
to get some reading done(glares at Bob) for the first time in...too
bloody long and he FORCED me to write it. I'm not kidding, he spelled
every word of the first few paragraphs in my head until I actually
had to SLAM my book closed and pick up my computer. Bob! I hate you! Spoilers: For god's sake, yes. This is post-series,
pre-EW, and a few references are made. If you haven't seen the show,
don't read. Of course, why would you be here if you hadn't, ne? "Hiding In Plain Sight"
I sit and watch people sometimes just to try to understand them a little better and I'm never bored with it. Bitter, yes, but never bored. "Amazing" does not cover people. It falls miserably short. The human body alone is astounding in and of itself. Did you know that every organ in the body makes the same chemical that the brain does when it thinks? So, essentially, the entire body is thinking, all of it part of the mind. That right there alone is a miracle. But if the human body is a miracle, the human heart is an utter disappointment. Hey, I said I was bitter. I never lie. I'm never let down by how completely pig-headed and oblivious people can be about things they don't want to see, even when it is staring them right in their faces. If you are completely honest and obvious about yourself right off the bat, people will NEVER believe it. You can throw something right into someone's lap and they won't understand it or even try if they choose not to. They'll stand up, walk away, and it will fall off their laps to the floor where it won't be seen again unless something so dramatic happens that they have no choice. And then, usually, they don't like it because it's `new', therefore offensive, and proceed to try to rid themselves of it like a stain on the perfect carpet that is their lives. It would be hilariously funny if it wasn't so completely sickening. Ok, I should probably explain a few things here. My name is Duo Maxwell. I am a Gundam Pilot, Freedom Fighter, Terrorist, What-Have-You. I am Sixteen. And I am in love. Or was. With HIM. I don't really know, anymore. It has been seven months since I have had any indication that HE is even in existence. I'm sure he's fine. He can take care of himself. But me, on the other hand... I'm left waiting for him. Reason C that I'm bitter. Bitterness and cynicism are two different things, aren't they? I mean, one can be cynical but not like, "I hate the world, I hate life and I hate YOU". THAT'S bitter. I was always a little cynical, just my nature, but I only learned what it was to be bitter very recently. And for many reasons. Reason A: It was during the war... At the beginning of said war, I met a boy named Heero Yuy. (insert dreamy sigh here.) I didn't really know what to think of him at first. Then, I got to know him a little better and I started to think he was crazy. The guy set a bone in his leg right in front of me! What would YOU think?! He HAD to be crazy. And then, I realized that, hey!, I'M crazy, too, and everyone else in this war?, THEY'RE all crazy, and we're all just one big mass of loonies with big toys, running around, blowing shit up. Ahhh. Isn't the world great? Then, I don't really know when, I fell for him. Hard.
I was completely, 100% in love with Heero Yuy. And I wanted him to
know. So I put myself out in the open. I would watch him, talk to
him, TRY to get him to talk And he had NO idea. I made pass after pass after pass at him and nothing. Nothing. No, he didn't reject me, he merely did nothing. He was totally clueless. Everyone else saw it. Everyone saw the way I would smile
at him, the way my eyes lit up when I saw him, the way I would talk
to him, the way I spent every second I could in his presence just
hoping for a scrap of How does one misinterpret something like this, you ask? Simple. People only see what they want to see. He pretty much only wanted to see his mission. Ah, there was the time that HE busted ME out for a change. Instead of shooting me like I thought he would, he helped me out and let me live. I thought then that maybe that was an indication, some sign that he returned my feelings. But, no. I was being just as blind as everyone else, seeing what I wanted and not the truth. He didn't know I cared for him. He looked at me and saw a comrade, a soldier, someone to help with the war. There was no real feeling there. I loved him, yet he felt nothing. Nothing. That's the first reason I'm bitter. Shall we move on to the second? Reason B: It was the end of the war... We won. But of course we won. Did you expect me to say that we lost? Would I be here if we had? The war ended and all of my friends and I lived. Or at least, all my friends that fought in the war lived. I lost friends before I started fighting. But THAT is another story that I DON'T tell. Throughout the war, I had figured that if I could wait until it was over, if we both survived, I would tell Heero how I felt. Obviously, SHOWING him wasn't working. And, I thought that, after the war, he wouldn't be able to look at me as a comrade and another soldier anymore, so he would HAVE to see me as something more. But that plan got fucked because the little bastard flew off without a word to anyone the moment his mission was over. Maxwell gets the brush-off AGAIN! There are no words in the English language for the feelings
that went through me when I saw him just disappear into space. I know
"cold" is in there somewhere along with "shocked"
and "heartbroken" but there Nothing. That was the second reason. My third, but probably not final, reason to be bitter is that the little shit hasn't contacted ANYONE since. Quatre and I talk regularly and we try to get a bead on him, ANYTHING, but it never works. Quatre always knew I loved Heero. I sometimes wonder if he knew before I did. I think he knew because he would watch, and talk to, and TRY to get to talk back, and go places with Trowa. Of course, Trowa had the same feelings for the blonde, he just didn't really know how to express them. And don't worry, they turned out fine and are busily living happily ever after, the lucky shits. So what does Duo Maxwell do? Nothing. I sit, and think, and wait, and wonder "what if"s, and every so often(Ok, REALLY often) try to understand how the hell people can be so stupid. I have actually gone out JUST to listen to people talk and watch how they act to those around them. And you know what I've learned? NOTHING!!! There is NOTHING to be learned by anyone who calls themself a man or woman! Everything that I've seen has taught me nothing new
but served to reinforce my theory that people are complete idiots
and every fucking member of the human race has at least one thing
that they have swept A friend whose heart has been captured by someone who doesn't even know. If you don't believe me about any of this, just pick
up any textbook on history and look at how well people deal with things
they don't like or don't WANT to get to like. They either seek to
destroy it completely or So, yeah, people are amazing. And, no, I'm never bored. It's impossible to be pissed-off and bored at the same time. Pissed-off and in love, though... Yes, I think that's possible. I've lived in the same place for these seven months, "on the grid", `real' name and all. I have an honest job doing scrap. I have an apartment all to myself. And everyday I think of Heero. Is that stupid of me? You betcha. People are idiots and I'm no exception. I guess I'm just doing what I always did in the foolish
hopes that, maybe, someday, it works and Heero comes back. It seems
like the right thing to do now, why change what worked SO well before?
Besides. It's So, once again, I've put myself out in the open and I'm waiting for Heero.
Eep? ^_^' Well, I hope that didn't suck. I'm not sure I'm done tweaking it, but I wanted to post it while I could get on a bloody computer so... Yeah. Any comments, critisizm, suggestions, flames, welcomed. ^_^ (Takes deep breath) WRITE ME WRITE ME WRITE ME WRITE ME WRITE ME!!!!! Arigato! Ja! ^_^ V ~Leia
Back to
Stone Angel Fics |
