"Where My Demons Hide"

Written By: Diana Lua

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and I don't make any money with this. It's just a work for fans and for fun.

Pairings: 1x2x1, 13x5; Background pairing: 4x3x4, Solox2, 6+2, 9+6, H+2, R+1, S+5 and maybe more…

Warnings: AU, Yaoi, SLASH, NC-17, alternating POVs; - Mainly a romance, drama with lots of angst and some action;

- Time: some fictional medieval age, nearly the 10th century (without technology nor gundams);
- Place: Earth with fictional context (not really caring about the real History);
- Supernatural contents (demons, angels and dragons).
- Some magic like seals, curses and spells (the 'Crimson Spell' kind, nothing like 'Harry Potter' things);

Rating: NC 17

Summary: Being captivated by a strong and devastatingly beautiful demon, that was captured very wounded, was just the start of the changes in Lord Heero Yuy's life. The implications of relating with the creature were as dangerous and revealing about things in the world that he had never before dreamed.

"Where My Demons Hide"

 

08. Flying (continuation)

The sound of my slow steps echoed loudly against the cold gray stones of the empty hallway. This part of my castle had been completely deserted; I didn't know if it was the fear of what was inside one of these rooms, or if Trowa, Wufei maybe, had ordered that no one was permitted to wander here. Seeing the door, dark battered wood like all the others, made me pause, hesitating; there were plenty of empty rooms, that once had been filled with life, now haunted by the ghosts of memories and filled with longing. And this one, very soon, would be the same. Even, my hand was freezing, holding a bowl with melted snow, it was the constricting pain within my chest which was tearing me apart.

I had left the library a few hours before, leaving Chang to deal with that pile of reports, even though the sad look on his face, the resignation inside his eyes, remained very vivid in my mind. That kind of loss, even if it had been inevitable, wasn't something that you could just deal with suddenly after it happened, it was harder because you needed to deal with it beforehand, knowing it was about to happen and swallow it, tasting the incapacity of being unable to prevent it. The only thing I could do was arrange some things, trying desperately to focus on what would make the situation more bearable.

The door was unlocked and the high-pitched squeal as it opened was a piercing assault on my eardrums. It was an almost torturous moment until my eyes found Duo sound asleep on the bed, lying on his stomach, the blanket tangled around his hips and legs, his good wing relaxed and sprawled carelessly across the mattress. It would have been a sweet, calming view if not for the trails marring his otherwise perfect face, the burnt remnants of the paths his tears had taken, painting a painful picture wrought with undertones of grief and sorrow.

Trying to walk quietly made me marvel at how Trowa could always make it seem so effortless walking around without his boot heels clacking on the stone floor. Still, I managed to reach the bed without waking Duo and knelt next to it, setting the bowl aside on the floor. I carefully reached across and took a strand of hair, lifting it away from his face. Those burns should be aching like hell, only pure exhaustion could be allowing him to sleep and it was worst in the corners of his eyes, his longs eyelashes weren't enough to mask the damage. I heaved a deep and weary sigh as I crossed my arms on the mattress, burying my face between them. Those feelings I was experiencing... the desire to comfort and take care of him, were stronger than ever. Although there was nothing I could do for him besides returning his scythe, allowing him to regain his power. I rubbed my face against the bed cover feeling the abrasive texture of the humble fabric, the prickle from the dried straw inside against my cheeks. I felt both sad and lost with the knowledge that I should let him go warring with the desire to ask him to stay. I was conflicted and confused, but most of all... I felt utterly useless to him.

"Hey..." Duo's sleepy voice reached my ears while fingers pushed softly at my hair, forcing me to lift my face "What's the matter?"

Still, it was very strange that I could wake him up just by experiencing such emotions while near him. I couldn't begin to imagine what dealing with such a power must have been like for him, always seeing everyone's emotions. It should have been overwhelming. However, I had this distinct feeling that... somehow he craved or perhaps he needed to feel it, just like a person needs to breathe. At least his reactions, if I had been reading them correctly, left me with that impression as when I left my feelings bare and open it seemed to make him relaxed, more at ease, and I was not ashamed of saying that I have been using this to my own advantage.

Our eyes met and I could see the real damage that the tears had done on his lower eyelids. I rushed to get the bowl, taking the piece of cloth that was inside, wringing out any excess water and handed it to him.

"Here..."

Duo paused, taking a minute to gaze intently at me, a small inkling in his eyes, as if trying to decide if he should push the matter or let it go. He accepted the damp rag, though not without shooting me a look that spoke volumes about how he knew I was avoiding his question.

"How are you feeling?" I inquired, attempting to change the topic.

"Burnt..." his voice had a hint of sarcasm, as he let some drops of icy water fall on his burns before covering his face with the cloth. It looked like a mask, making me think, one more time, that I knew nothing about him. Even his name, 'Duo', wasn't real. I wondered how many layers he had hidden beneath the face that he had shown to me, even though he had told me that I was the closest one to him in a long time.

"Sorry to make you... remember about all that." I offered, knowing it must have been an unwelcome experience for him.

He removed the fabric from his face handing it back to me. It was a bit of shock, noticing how warm it had become, before dipping it in the watery snow again. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, but far from actually looking at the dusty massive beams there, his attention was turned inside himself.

"I'm not..." he finally said, before covering the face again with the cold cloth, a small sigh of satisfaction escaping his lips, the next words came a bit muffled. "Thanks, for listening... I've been holding that in for far too long..." He paused to take a big intake of air, the cloth becoming plastered on his perky nose "I've never told that to anyone. Actually, I may have gone the rest of my life never having said it out loud."

That confession, as much as it warmed my heart, also twisted at my guts. It was bittersweet, the pleasant feeling of having that proof of his trust, yet knowing the depressingly sad truth that all this time he had never had someone to share the burden of that profound sorrow. "You hold too much inside of yourself..." I said unintentionally, it was just a thought prowling in my mind.

"You have no idea..." he said in a voice so low that I almost didn't hear it. I couldn't see his face, covered as it was by the wet cloth, but somehow I could tell that there must have been such a somber expression in his eyes. There was a strange feeling in the air around us and I didn't know how to remedy it.

"Thank you, for trusting me enough to share this with me."

Duo uncovered his face and handed the cloth back, tilting his head to look at me, eyes darkened in concern "You shouldn't," his voice took on a firm serious tone, "The more you know more dangerous it will become. The longer I stay..."

"I know." I cut in. "I just... I wish I could... there were too many demons inside of you..." I mumbled, averting my eyes, not sure what to do.

He chuckled softly, "I'm a demon, Heero..." his voice had that sparkle of amusement that always made me feel a bit foolish, but I knew he was just trying to alleviate the air. And his eyes were kind, looking down at me as he was, saying that he understood what I was feeling. I rose up suddenly, extended an opened hand toward him, "Come with me..."

Duo arched an eyebrow with a suspicious look. "Where?"

Instead of answering, I grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him up, insisting. He didn't fight, just came along, keeping the curious and suspicious frown while I guided the way, two floors upward.

When we reached my chamber, I finally turned to look at him and, by the look in his eyes and the ghosting of a smile on his lips, I could tell that he knew exactly what was behind the door. Actually, he should have known it the whole time.

I let go of his wrist that I was holding, my chest was filled with pain and my mind with doubts, yet I grabbed at the resolution of what is the right thing to do and opened the door stepping inside, inviting him to enter.

"I'm sorry that I didn't give it back to you right away..." I could have spared him so much trouble if I had.

"Who would?" he asked, looking at me with a warm expression of understanding. "I can't blame you for not trusting a demon... Actually, I'm kind of surprised that you're returning it to me anyway." His voice was soft, not showing any trace of irritation or resentment.

I paused for a moment, pondering how to explain that, even with the concerns of the others, deep inside it hadn't been about distrusting him, but because I didn't wish for him to depart. I didn't know how, and so I changed the subject. "Did you know... that I had it?"

"Yeah, I can feel if it's near enough... I felt it just after drinking your blood the first time. I probably was too... messed up to sense it before. How long did you have it before that?"

"Not long," I replied warily "It was brought to me that same day, shortly after I had found you almost... dying." I paused on the last word, recalling that moment in vivid detail.

He gave me a wistful look, watching me intently, his violet gaze piercing my soul, trying to read deep inside me, searching through my words. "And yet you rather offered me your blood, your life..." He prodded, his brow furrowing slightly.

"I didn't know what was the right thing to do. Even though you are a demon... I felt like I couldn't let you die. I was confused... at that time, I didn't understand what I was feeling... "

"I know," He said, finally stepping inside, with that same soothing voice, grabbing my chin and kissing me gently, very lightly, careful with the burns on his face, then spun and walked toward the bed, where the bright scythe was placed.

When his fingers found the metal, a nearly blinding green aura appeared around it. He closed his eyes and that energy increased and surrounded his whole body. I couldn't explain how it happened exactly, but the weapon changed before my eyes, turning into a fearsome reaper's blade, just like I had imagined. The snath was taller than him, the blade as long as an arm, beautifully curving and deadly sharp. The burns faded from his face, as if they had never existed to begin with.

When he opened his eyes, he did so slowly, the long eyelashes fluttering softly. His countenance took on an expression that spoke of renewed power and resolve.

With an abrupt movement, he tore the bandages from his formerly broken wing, spreading both to their full glorious length. I barely took notice of how the papers and objects around my chamber were disturbed by the wind that was generated as he experimentally flapped the appendages once, twice, thrice. A relieved look settled over his features informing me of how much he must have needed to to be able to move and stretch them. The past few days of having his wing bound as it had been had to have been difficult for him.

Whether he was a demon, shinigami or angel I could not have cared as Duo was a surreal vision bathed as he was in a vibrant green aura. I was enthralled.

The tips of the long black feathers now seemed to glimmer with that verdant energy and the whole inner side of his wings appeared to be covered in a strange and almost tribal pattern of intricate markings that were a mix of straight sharp edges and soft flowing lines, that I couldn't begin to describe or decipher as they pulsed with the energy flux.

The vision was over almost as soon as it had begun. While that bright green aura faded away and the scythe returned to its smaller compact form, that flux of energy inside his wings lingered, though it darkened considerably, turning a shade that reminded me of the deepest parts of a forest.

His demeanor changed, becoming solemn and formal as he used the tip of the blade to write in the air, leaving symbols made of that same vivid green energy, while whispering words in a language that I didn't understand. Those strange symbols formed a circle which Duo placed in the middle of it the broken chain that remained dangling from the end of the scythe's grip. With more words whispered that circle shifted, forming several new, intricate links that connected it with the vambrace on his right arm, before vanishing, as though the chain had never existed to begin with. I didn't know that much about magic seals and rituals, but I was sure it was high-level one.

"What kind of demon could break a seal like this?" I wondered as I tried to comprehend what I had just witnessed.

He looked at me with that mischievous expression, I recognized as being the one he used whenever he decided to make fun of me. "None of which you will ever see." The answer was evasive, but I didn't feel like questioning him further. He already had said that it had been one that was stronger than him. I could only hope that he was right about me never seeing one.

Duo placed the scythe on the bed once more, alongside the other items that I left there before and shot me an inquisitive look.

"I told you that I would help with whatever you might need... and since you didn't really tell me what you need, I thought about what should be useful." I explained sheepishly, hoping I was right on the choices I had made.

He seemed to be very humble, and probably he didn't need much more than clothes, some armor and his own weapon. So, I found a good pair of pants in dark leather, a sturdy pair of boots, large ones so as to allow room for his claws, also, an one-shoulder roman style tunic and girdle. I had no other idea for what he could wear beneath the armor, because of his wings, and that should work with a chestplate with back straps like the one he was using when found, which I hoped to provide a new, better one to him later. Lastly, there was a thick wool cape which had been treated with a specialized wax so as to prevent it from getting dirty or wet. With the exception of the boots, everything had come from my own, personal wardrobe.

I took the cape in my hands and unfolded it, showing it to him, "You probably don't need to be protected from the cold, but once you are hiding, I thought it would be useful..." Duo took it from my hands with a small smile, inspecting it. Thinking now, it might not cover all the length of his wings even folded, they were so long. "Also..." I continued taking out the tunic, remembering the suspicious look I had received from the seamstress when I explained what I wanted her to do. This roman style wasn't a common thing. "I wasn't sure what kind of thing you could use with little difficulty, because of your wings."

His smile faltered, becoming a bit melancholic when he took it. "I used to wear something like that actually, before..." he didn't finish, but the tone he used on the last word, he could only be referring to his life in Heaven. "Thanks... but you don't have to do this, really..."

"I know. I want to. Would you like to go to the armory, to choose an armor that you like?" I offered. I didn't know what he had before, but he had lost everything in that fight, even if it had been just armor and clothes. I wanted to give him these gifts; maybe, it was because I had some hope that he would think of me after he left. I did understand that his staying is dangerous and that I need to let him go, but what I couldn't do, what was impossible to be done, was forgetting about him, was giving up the hope of seeing him again someday.

I was surprised by his sudden proximity, his lips almost touching mine while he whispered. "I will never forget the kindness and compassion you have shown to me."

I couldn't stop myself from joining our lips, starting a tender kiss, as much as I couldn't stop from asking, when we broke apart, "So, it was alright that I did not return your scythe before?"

Duo rolled his eyes in annoyance, but instead of making some joke as I expected, his fingers came to my face, tracing my jawline kindly. "It was ok," he said serious, lifting some of the weight of my remorse off from my shoulders. "You only did what you thought was best... And if you had returned it before, I would have only left... much sooner."

I leaned my face against the palm of his hand, closing my eyes. "But you're still going to leave..."

"I am." He kissed me again, more fiercely and passionate, before abrupt breaking the contact as he averted his eyes, taking a step back.

I caught his hand, suddenly afraid that he would just fly away at that very moment. "So, this is a farewell?" I asked, voice wavering slightly in my trepidation.

He still didn't look at me, but his other hand came to hold mine. "Yes..." he turned my hands to kiss each palm, mimicking the gesture I had done the day before, "This is a goodbye."

The tone of his voice was tender, yet, the resolution of his words, like a vow, almost made my chest feel as though it would explode from the heartache that was growing deep inside with that definitive word. My time with him was nearly at an end, he wouldn't allow me very much more.

I remained still, actionless, watching him step away from me to undress, removing the soft pants in favor of trying on the new ones followed by the tunic and the boots. He made a quick sloppy braid, letting it fall over his naked shoulder. So, he turned to face me with his hands on his waist as if asking for my approval at his figure.

"You look great." I was really glad that everything fit well enough. The dark pants, clinging to his calves and thighs, with the boots served only to refine the perfect and sexy picture of him. Only, I couldn't hide the sadness that I was feeling knowing that he was getting ready to leave. I fervently wished to have some hope, any hope, of seeing him again.

He tucked the scythe into the right side of the girdle before walking toward me. Stopping right in front of me, biting his lips as uncertainty shone in his eyes. Finally, he let a small sigh escape before raising his head and turning his gaze to the doors that lead out onto the large balcony, that overlooked the courtyard. I couldn't figure out what was on his mind.

"Why don't you pick something warmer?" he suggested, his hands sliding down over my chest until they reached my waist. "And a gambeson."

"What for?" I asked, tilting my head slightly in puzzlement. The smile he gave me was full of mischief, telling me of his intention to keep the reason a mystery.

Bewildered, I didn't argue as I moved to find a warmer pair of pants and grabbing a sturdy pair of boots. It was only really cold outside and I wondered if that was where he wanted to go. As long as I could stay with him a bit longer I was happy, so I grabbed the first thick coat that my hands could get a hold of, putting it on. Duo came to inspect it, closing all laces and lifting up the collar until it was a bit uncomfortable around my neck, a strange mood permeated the air around us, making me very curious.

Before I could ask what that was about, he grabbed my wrist pulling me toward the doors and out onto the balcony. It was already dark, the moon was waning, but still giving off enough light to illuminate the contours of the surrounding houses and fields, as well as the black shadow made by the woods; it was a beautiful and somber image.

The demon turned me so that we were facing each other once more, his eyes were intense as he took a moment just staring at me before angling my face to kiss me. It was tender, small slow kisses, as if he was experimenting, carefully biting and sucking on my lower lip. I just melted in his arms, enjoying the kiss and my proximity to him while decidedly ignoring the knot in my guts.

He lifted my arms, putting them around his neck, both of his arms wrapping around me to press my body tight against his.

"Hold tight." He advised and, as I opened my mouth to ask why, his wings rose up and gave a strong beat that launched us into the air.

"Fuck!" was the only thing that I managed to say while I clung onto him for dear life. Even in my most crazy dreams I had ever thought about... flying. It took me several moments until I was able to breathe again. My heart was threatening to beat right out of my chest and I needed to concentrate on his strong arms around me, as well as the graceful rhythmic movement of his wings, in order to calm down a little.

Swallowing hard I finally dared to look around; we were over the darkened depths of the forest, and I could see the dimmed lights from the village, the small contours of the houses and my castle far off in the distance behind us.

"Ar.. ou... ok?" Even with the steady movement of his wings, the cold night air rushing past us threatened to swallow his words before I could scarcely hear them.

I just nodded because, even if I had tried to answer, I probably wouldn't have been able to find my voice at that moment anyhow. Seemingly in response to that, Duo started to increase the beating of his wings. I wondered if he had been waiting for me get used to the sensation of being airborne before flying the way he would normally prefer. The grip of his arms, up and down my back, was painful yet, at the same time, reassuring, I was happy to feel the safety of his fierce embrace.

"...at's it... relax... enjoy..." The words reached my ears and I could hear the enjoyment lingering in his tone. Suddenly, he changed the angle of his wings to catch an updraft, taking us straight up, higher and higher. There was a fluffy grayish cloud, that hung low in the air before us, and we flew into it. I was surprised to discover that the thing was almost like being inside a mist. The few times I had spared some thoughts looking at the clouds in the sky, they had appeared to be more... solid, as if it was possible to reach out to touch and mold them into whatever shape was desired.

I risked opening one hand, extending it a bit, my other arm still firm around Duo's neck, attempting to see if I truly could touch them, but all I felt was the freezing chill of that ethereal mist making my fingers go numb. Even so, "...'s... mazing..." I tried to say and I found my chin trembling with cold, yet the words carried away as they were by the wind, they reached Duo's hearing.

"Yeah..." he agreed with a satisfied laugh.

There was no way I wouldn't notice how much he was enjoying the flying. I wondered if the level of my pleasure matched his. I couldn't find that hint of sarcasm that was normally present when I amused him in some way. It was such a stark contrast from everything I'd come to expect from him so far, that I couldn't help but wonder what else could make him as happy as he appeared to be in that moment, what else could give him that same level of pure, unfettered joy.

Below us, was just a fathomless, black abyss. Only upon the faint, tangy odor of salt reaching my nostrils did I realize we were soaring above the sea. I couldn't believe how fast we had traveled so far. Under normal circumstances, it would take more than a half day traveling in a fast horse lope to reach the cliffs that border the ocean from my castle. I needed to concentrate to see beyond the tears that the wind insisted on forming in my eyes, so that I could define the glittering, asymmetric lines of silver, languidly formed by the moonlight reflected down upon the water's surface. It was astonishing and peaceful.

"Ready?" Duo asked abruptly, not waiting for the answer as he shifted his center of gravity, pitching us slightly upward, followed by the angle of his wings, causing us to go into a spin before adding, "...to the fun part?"

I barely had time to swallow the thick saliva in my mouth before he took us into another spin with a bright crystal laugh. Duo then angled us straight up once more, wings beating strongly, making my stomach come to my mouth. It felt as though the further we climbed, the less air there was to fill my lungs with, making it really hard to breathe. We were still going higher than I had ever imagined being possible, flying really fast, the rustle of his wings loud in my ears.

Suddenly his grip around me became markedly stronger. I tried to look up at him and saw a devilish smile pull at his lips, his eyes brightening as if to become twin beacons of amethyst light in the darkness and he gave me a look that spoke of nothing beyond pure joy before he simply stopped beating his wings.

For a moment we continued our soar upward, carried by our momentum, before we came to an almost lazy stop. Then, before I had the time to even think to voice my questions about what was happening, we began to fall down towards the earth once more. His wings circled around our bodies to form a protective shield, the movement causing us to spiral uncontrollably as we hurtled toward the ground in a death-defying descent.

I was sure that my heart had stopped in that moment. With another subtle movement of his back we were spinning on the other axis, turning so the earth seemed to be simultaneously above and below us, until we ended up falling headfirst toward the darkness of the ocean below. Turning my focus to Duo once more I could see he had his head thrown back slightly and eyes closed as he enjoyed the sensation of free fall, and I tried to do the same, placing all my trust in him. Not that I had any other choice anyway.

I released the breath that I hadn't realized that I had been holding and turned my gaze down toward the ocean, I tried to just feel the sensation of... releasing, through the pressure in my chest. I hadn't noticed that he had loosened his grip around me, nor that I had my own on him in relaxation until he tightened his arms once more, pulling me even closer if that was possible. I didn't miss the clue and responded in kind as best I could; we were still falling and alarmingly close to the water.

Duo let out an excited cry and opened his wings all of a sudden, causing our bodies to jolt in shock as his wings fought wildly against the wind, providing the attrition to stop our insane free falling. It is possible I let out a cry of my own, along with him, colored by the fear that he wouldn't be able to stop our descent completely before we crashed into the icy water.

Duo did stop, although not before we were unnervingly near the water surface. Through the blood pounding in my ears, I could hear him laughing out loud. It was a sound of pleasure that left no room to doubt that he adored doing that. And baffled as I was by the myriad sensations I was experiencing I could tell, that I surely had loved it as well.

We were flying steadily then, his wings moving slowly, rhythmic, soaring very near the water, it seemed as though we were sailing across the ocean, skimming along the tops of the long, slowly cresting waves.

"Ar.. ou... ok?

His voice reached my ears over the sound of lapping water, however, I couldn't find my voice, my throat completely dry. Duo gently placed his lips on my forehead, "Shit, yer freezing..."

Indeed I was, so much so that I couldn't feel the extremities of my body. I raised my head to find his lips with mine, murmuring into his mouth "It's ok..." His arms shifted around me, trying to envelop me better and he said sorry back at my mouth and trembling broken lips.

Before I could try and tell him not to apologize, because I wasn't sorry at all, we are back at my castle, inside my chamber in the same amount of time it took for me to blink. I was perplexed, incapable of understanding that swift change of scenery. I stumbled with the stone floor arising beneath my feet, falling to my knees.

Duo left for a moment, returning swiftly with a blanket, his hand rushing to undo the laces of my coat, stripping me of it and putting the blanket over my shoulders. I simply remained still, shivering as I was while kneeling on the carpet in front of the fireplace. The demon extended an open hand in direction of the dying fire and it sprung back to life, the flames bright and strong as they licked at the wood. I was glad for the warmth and even more so when settled behind me, pulling me to sit between his legs, wrapping his arms around my trembling form in a gentle embrace. He had taken off the tunic and even through the blanket and my inner shirt I could feel his body heat. My breath was coming in ragged gulps and I tried to calm it, letting him hold me tight to him.

"Sorry... I wanted to give you a gift." He murmured softly, his voice full of remorse.

I needed to tilt my head back to find his eyes, "Don't apologize..." my voice was hoarse and I needed to fight with my throat to finish "... it was... the best gift I have ever received... thank you, truly."

Duo give me a bright smile, and I could see so clearly how much he loved flying, we shared a languid kiss while his hands started rubbing my arms, trying to provide more heat through friction. I almost wanted to suggest that he experience would be even greater in the summer months, however, I didn't want to sound like I was trying to pressure him into staying when he had already so clearly made up his mind. I couldn't be sure, but I guessed he had felt my inner turmoil because he redoubled his effort in kissing me, as if to draw my attention away from my thoughts.

"You really love that, don't you?" I asked softly when we broke the kiss.

"Flying? Yes..." He answered warily, but his violet eyes darkened, turning to gaze out the window as they took on a melancholic look. "Angels are used to flying only in the way we did at the end, just appearing wherever they need to travel... before, there were many times that I ran to Earth so I could actually fly... the others never understood the feeling of it. So, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it... it was good to share this feeling with someone."

A silence filled the space around us, disturbed only by the crepitating of the fire. I was glad to have been able to help him, to have one more thing that he could share just with me. "It was the best thing I have ever done in my life... another amazing memory of you, Duo." My voice sounded thick, more emotional than I wanted.

"Let's get you to the bed." He suggested, already standing and pulling me with him. I wasn't shivering anymore and went along with him. When we stopped at the side of the bed, I reached to touch his wings reverently, feeling the softness with my fingers. "Duo..."

I started but he stopped me by placing a finger over my mouth, however, I took hold of his hand before he could, trying for one last attempt, not to keep him here, but to change the resolution of how definitive this goodbye was. I wanted to have some hope, even if it was only a tiny one that I would get to see him again someday.

"Please, stay with me one last time... let me give you something else..." It sounded almost like a plea, said with a thick hoarse voice, and maybe it was. He might 'read' well my feelings, still, I wanted to show him how I felt. Maybe, I could make him see that he was all I wanted, that I already had lost my heart to him. Maybe, I could give something else to remember me by after he left, "Let me love you."[14]

Those gorgeous amethyst eyes widened in surprise as he stood perfectly still in shocked silence for a second. I had noticed that he usually was more flexible if I didn't hold back my feelings, so, even though it was a bit manipulative on my part, I just lay them bare; maybe seeing what I felt deep he would be more inclined to agree.

Duo bit his lower lip, it was adorable the way he appeared uncertain, it warmed my heart to see his indecision, the way he fidgeted on his feet. He probably had planned to just get me back and leave, so, I didn't expect him to place his scythe aside, getting the boots off and crawling on the bed and lying on his back, his honey long hair spilling over the sheets, the braid totally undone by the flight, and his black shining wings sprawled along the mattress with that dark green glow inside completing a surreal picture of him.

I needed to breathe deep and slow due to the sight he made, hands stretched out in open invitation. I accepted, taking his hands and entwining our fingers, straddling his hips as I settled over him. He had that lopsided smirk that I found endearing when he pulled me down for a kiss, it was slow and passionate. I poured in it all I felt for him, including the ever mounting sorrow and the longing I was sure I would suffer after his departure.

I kissed all his face, sliding my lips down along his neck until his shoulder, biting the muscle at the junction of them, feeling his moans deep in his throat with my lips. His hands slid to my back pulling my shirt over my head in a rush, claws grazing at my skin. I let him remove it, but after, I pinned both of his hands on each side of his body; I didn't want to hasten anything. I wanted to relish this last time with him, more than that, I wanted to imprint my feelings on his body, on his skin. I wanted to feel like he was mine even if it was for just one time, because, beyond question, I already was his; whether he accepted it or not.

Duo relaxed completely, letting me hold him on the mattress, his crystalline laugh filling my ears and his amethyst eyes bright with understanding. I brought my hand to his face, enthralled by his fascinating smile, my thumbs tracing his cheeks. He closed his eyes leaning in while I caressed his hair, brushing his bangs back to kiss his forehead reverently, "You are so incredibly beautiful."

His smile faltered a bit, but he didn't argue. I kept going, kissing both of his temples, his cheek, his jaw, on my way to his neck and chest. I felt the breathing movement under my lips, his chest going up and down, strong muscles beneath the soft skin. "Inside and out..." I whispered, nuzzling around his nipple.

"No, I'm not... you don't know enough about me to say that kind of thing." One of his hands came to hold my chin up so I could see the serious expression in his eyes.

"It's not about what you have done... it's about what you are. And still, not really knowing it, I can feel; I can see inside those beautiful eyes of yours, you are special."

Duo turned his head to the other side, incapable of finding words to answer he was just running from it. I rose to hold his face and whispered against his lips that I was sorry. It was a lie, but I was afraid of ruining the mood; I didn't want him sulking, didn't want to have this goodbye tainted with any bad feelings. I kissed him, not wanting him to think about my lie. I needed some insistence until he started kissing back and his arms came around me, grabbing and pulling me near until I was all lying on him. It became a long and deep kiss, his lips were swollen when we broke, as mine should be, and his face was gorgeous flushed and at ease again. After all, it's all about him feeling good, feeling loved.

It was obvious that, somehow, physical contact made him less defensive, and this is the only kind of intimacy that he would allow. Seemed to me that he didn't feel free enough to allow the emotional part, even both of them were clearly tangled together.

I kissed the ending of his shoulder, gently pushing him to one side. Duo arched an eyebrow in question, but rolled to lean the way I wanted. I brushed his long hair aside, while I kissed over his shoulder, tracing a path onto his back, lightly nuzzling his nape and descending down the spine line, before letting my fingers linger on the soft black feathers. I bit the skin at the base of his wings, feeling how strong the muscles there were. Yet his body was lean, he was so strong; everything was right in place, all sinew and muscles; all perfect.

My hands were slowly sliding over the softness of his feathers in a gentle caress, before skimming his skin at the sides of the waist and down to his hips, making him shiver and arch his back graciously. The sound of his claws tearing the sheets, when my tongue reached the small of his back, telling me all I needed to know about him enjoying it.

Yet, Duo surprised me, undoing the laces of his pants with trembling fingers, pushing them to his knees and staying in the same position. Not sure what he was wanting, took me a second to continue my way kissing down. Then, when I went farther between the crack of his cheeks and I let my tongue massage his sensitive part, his husky voice calling my name erased the doubts that I had, and I made him fight to stay still, squirming anxiously, by me rimming on him. "Heero..."

I gently pushed him backward until he was lying prone on the mattress and finished removing his pants. I positioned myself between his lean legs, sitting on the balls of my feet as I took hold of his slim hips to pull his body until he was straddling my waist. This new positioning of our bodies, with his hips over my thighs, granted him some measure of leverage over the mattress that made his abs tense. Slowly I shifted my hand to slide along the strong muscle beneath the velvet skin, feeling the strength within. His left hand grasped at my tights, as he hissed in pleasure. There was a sharp, stinging sensation as his claws began to dig into flesh, which I really didn't care. I had never beheld such a vision of perfection as Duo presented me at that moment, as he gazed back up at me with an unreadable expression. His dazzling amethyst eyes were clouded in an inscrutable mix of emotion. A light blush had risen to color his cheeks as his breath came in short, soft puffs of air. He was the very definition of exquisite and I was completely lost. The sharp tang of his scent, reminding me of fire and brimstone, the savory and comforting smell of cloves and cinnamon, the feeling of his skin, the warmth of his body, I wanted to have all those sensations permanently burned into my memory, as if engraved by fire. Carefully I brought his left leg up to my shoulder, so I could nip and kiss at his ankle, my lips traveling along his calf, toward the side of his knee. His wings were spread to their full and brilliant glory, the lustrous, dark feathers glistering softly in the light from the hearth as they dipped down beyond the edge of the mattress. Experimentally, I gently bit the side of his leg, causing him to let out a small gasp of surprise as he squirmed and shifted, struggling to remain still as he shivered at the sensation, toes curling in what I could only assume was pleasure.[15]

"Heero..." His voice was hoarse when he called my name and I loved to hear it like that, as a plea, full of need. He was fully aroused, the slit dripping with precum and I knew that he was near his limit, so I left, for only a moment, to reach the oil on the bed stand. I intended on preparing myself, but when I dipped two fingers in the oil, he astonished me, grabbing my wrist anxiously and maneuvering my hand between his inviting legs.

"Duo... when I asked you to let me, I didn't mean- You don't need to-" I whispered, surprised to find my own voice, even not being able to finish the sentence. It hadn't crossed my mind to change our roles with that request, I just wanted to be with him again, whatever way he wanted to.

"I know," He gasped, cutting in abruptly. He turned his head to the side, averting his eyes, making a long pause, wondering, maybe choosing the words before finally saying in a low, almost shy, voice. "I want you."

I hadn't thought that I would hear him say something like that, I truly didn't expect it and my whole body was filled with warmth, making my heart race. Yet it wasn't a confession of love, it meant a lot because it was true and I could see that he meant it, it was obviously hard for him to say those words. I leaned down to kiss him passionately, my hands wrapping around his waist and back, to bring him closer, embracing him tighter than I could. When we broke, Duo had a sweet, shy smile, a short slipping of his mask, that was fast fixed with his legs wrapping around me, making our hips grind together and whispering in my ear. "Come on... don't make me wait..."

This change of his was so intrinsic a part of him, at the same time it was clearly his way out to hide himself. I wanted to tell him so many things. However, I knew better, he would stubbornly fight each and every one, so, I just kept my mouth shut and stayed on that only path that he had allowed me to walk on.

I started to massage the soft skin of his perineum and around his entrance. I held both of his legs over my shoulder; the sight of him gasping, eyes hooded and heavy-lidded, his own hand shoved in his mouth, as a vain try to not moan, was enough to get me painfully hard. I kept delivering butterfly kisses on his calves and ankles while preparing him until he was squirming too much, trying to move to get more contact with my fingers inside him. When I found a sensitive spot inside him, his hand grabbed my leg hard, the claws breaking the skin beneath the fabric of my pants.

"Enough..." he managed to say with his hard breathing, suddenly grabbing my arm to stop me; his clutches leaving stains of blood in my pants that he for sure didn't notice.

I reached for the laces of my own pants to open them and tugged my hardness with some oil. He was eager, trying to pull me with his legs, barely waiting for me to get in position, I needed to grab his hands pinning them to the mattress again. "I'm here..." I whispered brushing my lips on his, gazing at his beautiful eyes.

Duo simply relaxed under my touch and my feelings, allowing me to slide slowly and with ease inside him and it was amazing. He was just so damn hot; holy hellblood, his channel was insanely warm and soft as velvet. I was the one almost losing control, gasping and grabbing his hips to keep him in place, needing a minute after being fully seated into him to not lose myself in that blissful moment.

When I could get my world back at the axis, I found his eyes gazing at me, full of amusement and with that mischievous smirk on his lips. "Already melting?"

His smile increased as my face became hot, at least I was glad for getting myself under control before... I melted. I didn't let myself get caught in embarrassment or by the playful line he was trying to force in. I could see the light in his eyes, behind that joker mask, and that was the one that I wanted to reach, so I rather wanted to play with the honesty and sweetness. "Don't worry, not yet..." I let my hand cup his face gently, "Duo... I'm not sure that you won't burn me away."

I was not sure if it was the words, the feelings or the tone of my voice, but it worked at replacing that smirk with a small smile as he leaned on my hand, closing his eyes. I needed this lovemaking to mean something more to him, and I didn't want him running away from that. I leaned, kissing his collarbone, letting my hands reach his, palm against palm, tangling our fingers. I felt, through my chest, his heart thundering, mirroring the beat of my own. We looked at each other and I saw his eyes wide open, full of bare feelings for the first time; he was scared, only I wasn't sure about what.

Duo let go of my hands to reach my face, pulling me up to join our lips. We kissed tenderly, letting our tongues raveling, dancing, exploring with no hurry. I wanted him to feel cherished, wanted him to feel like he was deserving of this tenderness, this caring, and this love. I didn't part our lips to start moving; keeping our mouths connected as also our eyes, testing shallow thrusts at first. His legs came to entwine at my back, his hands to grab at my shoulders pulling me closer, making my movements become deeper, trying to get more contact.

As I increased the pace, he closed his eyes, throwing his head back and arching graciously his body. He used his wings to get leverage, and with a vigorous movement, I found myself sitting up, with him on my lap and I was deeper seated inside him. A loud moan filled the room; I wasn't sure which of us let it out. His claws were scratching my shoulder blades; the thought that he might be bothered when seeing it, like the last time, crossed my mind idly. The myriad of feeling that I was lost in, pain wasn't included at all.

I had access to the sensuous line of his neck to lick and bite there; the reverberation of his sweet moaning reaching my lips through his throat. He was lightweight, even completely surrendered with such abandon in my arms. I was barely capable of breathing, completely captivated by him at that moment. It was a gift to see him like that, freed of all shadows, without all the ghosts of his mysterious life, holding me for dear life, like I was the only anchor keeping him from losing himself. On top of that, I wanted to be that for him, I wanted to be anything that he needed.

"Heero..." his husky voice came with a gasp, as he buried his face on the crook of my neck, his wings circling us, making that soft shelter around us, as if the contact of our skins weren't enough.

I kissed the side of his face and dipped my nose in his rich brown hair, it was slightly damp at the roots, having more of that comforting cinnamon scent. "I'm here..." I said, the words dripping with passion. Those exotic eyes turned to me, covered by the curtain of his bangs, even they were clouded by desire, something flickered inside them, I knew he was looking for something, just still not knowing what. I just wanted to sink my soul in those mysterious amethyst pools forever. As each thrust wrought a deep groan that evolved into mewlings and then into soft cries, "I'm here..." I repeated, unsure of what was going on inside his mind, but somehow he appeared to need that reassurance.

I was right because next, he was abruptly kissing me, hungrily trying to devour my mouth, possessive and demanding, a bit desperate maybe, his fangs cutting my lips. The metallic savor of blood prickling my tongue, as he moved to meet every thrust, rocking his hips hard. Having that beautiful, strong and exotic being unraveled that way, raw and honest was surreal. I knew I would have him in my heart for the rest of my life.

One of his hands came to grab my hair, pulling it to make my head bend slightly back, so he could kiss my jaw and neck, biting my Adam's apple. The movement, opened some space between the sweaty skins of our chest, leaving me room to reach for his hard and dripping wet erection that had been trapped between us.

Even if I wanted to draw it out I knew I couldn't, and if his cries were any indication, Duo was also near the edge. Wasn't long when, under my ministrations, his flesh was throbbing and twitching in my hand. His cries became louder, then turned in a keening of my name. Even distracted, his lips found mine again, making me swallow his sounds. He came while kissing me, tasting of blood and passion, clinging on me fiercely, closing his eyes and with his wings open, showing their glorious darkness glimmering with that vibrant green energy and the fading yellow from the fire.

I didn't have time to think much, being taken by him to the edge of pleasure with him squeezing me, impossibly tight, sucking me in, overwhelmed by the contrasting feelings inside my heart: completeness and loss. I buried my face in his collarbone, lost in the moment when the orgasm hit me, in a way that I had never felt before. I might have shouted his name, but not sure if any coherent sound left my throat.

I probably lost consciousness for a moment. Next thing I would know was that even after I opened my eyes I couldn't see a thing. Took more than a couple of deep breaths, for my senses to start to turn back on and it was like they came one by one, slowly. First the heat of his skin under me; second, the sound of the fast beating of his heart; third, the acrid scent of our completion; fourth, the sight of his eyes heavy-lidded, looking kindly at me; and lastly, the bitter taste of longing that already was lasting on my tongue.

I needed to wait for the rush of blood in my veins to calm down, to notice that we were lying on the mattress, Duo on his back and I, in complete abandon, all over him. I felt like I was totally incapable of moving. The weakness of my body, mixed with the adrenalin and cold from the flight and all that activity surpassing all my physical limits.

"Stay... just stay like this..." he whispered slowly, I had an impression that his voice was thick emotional, but my brain wasn't really working anymore. Not that I could move even if I wanted, I was more than happy to oblige, and just remain in the comfort I was.

"Duo..." I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say, was more just an attempt of fighting against the sleepiness possessing my relaxed and weak body.

"Shhh... sleep, Heero... just sleep..." With the feel of his fingers caressing my hair gently, I lost that battle, letting myself into the dreamland, forgetting that it was the last time I was rushed to sleep in his warm arms.

"I say it's up to fate"

---

Notes:

[14] This is dedicated to my darling Marl Paz, some words from the music 'Let me love you', by Schiller, that she like very much.

[15] I drew this scene, it was in the facebook album (link- click HERE), as a project that I need to use a technique with high contrast and hatching, not ready yet, but I'm finishing. This was also my first time doing all lines on the computer, so, it's a style a bit different, but I'm liking it very much.

~ * ~

Chapter 13

 

Back to Single Authors Index

Back to GW Authors Index.