"Shadow on the Sun"

Written By: Miss Murdered

Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters - am just borrowing to torment for my amusement

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: m/m sexual relations, angst, death fic that is not quite a death fic, some swearing

Pairings: 1x2x1 and background 3x4

AN: It is heavily inspired by the films Solaris, Moon and Sunshine and the title is taken from the Audioslave song Shadow on the Sun - as per usual, songs inspired chapters and will be noted.
Finally, I failed science at school and though I have done quite a bit of research about the sun and activity - this is fan fiction and I have only done so much. So this is a lot of fantasy.

Summary: After Duo's death, Heero becomes a scientist aboard a sun research facility called the Solar. In a month of unusual solar activity, he starts seeing Duo again and Heero has to consider his sanity or whether there is way that Duo can be alive.

" Shadow on the Sun"

 

Chapter Seven - Epilogue

Always

~ I am with you always
From the darkness of night until the morning
I am with you always
From life until death takes me
Always - Killswitch Engage ~

The noise of the Solar was continual, a low hum and Heero woke up slowly, hearing the sounds of the space station that kept him alive. He started for a second as he woke up alone and it was a rare thing. He felt for the impression of the other body, turned over and buried his nose in the pillow to smell that Duo had been there recently and it would not be long until he was there again.

Heero rolled over, looked up at the metal above him before he moved to get out of the bed, pulling on clothes, the shorts and t-shirts, and padding out of the bedroom.

DORIS, disabled now for nearly two years no longer greeted him but Heero still half expected it. As he had spent a long time aboard the Solar, his routine had become ingrained and at times, he even missed her high pitched voice and snarky seeming comments. It was as well, at times, that he missed the fact he couldn't make a call but after setting the virus, he had spent hours in the wiring behind the metal panels, disabling everything he could apart from the systems he needed for life and it meant then there was no turning back.

At times, Heero idly thought about those people he'd cut himself off from. Quatre and Trowa had sounded desperate and on some nights he heard his name said in their voices, waking up in a cold sweat to be comforted by Duo, who would hold him tight and kiss his forehead until Heero's heart rate would regulate and he would feel "normal" again. Sometimes they'd just fall back to sleep, Duo's cold body wrapped around Heero's heat or they'd slowly kiss and touch, arousing one another like they'd always known how until they were hard and horny, moving together with practised ease in the tiny bunk, climax slowly building.

He regretted Relena. Not saying goodbye as she had loved him in her own way and in his way, Heero had too. Respected her. And she had wanted to see him again so badly. But he couldn't look back now as he walked along the corridors of the Solar, stopping to make coffee and grabbing half a power bar from his supplies.

The coffee would run out soon, he was making it weak, making it so that it lasted, drawing it out but Heero knew eventually there would be nothing left. The power bars would run out by the end of the month, some of the meals already had no matter how smaller portions he gave himself and he knew there would be a point in the not too distant future that he existed on energy gels and recycled water. He knew that he only had another six months aboard the ship but he thought of that rarely, walking towards the control room, the door now left open, seeing Duo sat on the command chair, his hair sleep mussed, his knees drawn up and head looking towards the sun. Heero looked to the activity, the bubbling boiling mass, the sparks and stutters and flares, and took a sip of his coffee.

Duo knew he was there as he turned a little, inclined his head before he turned back to looking at the sun.

"Lotsa activity today," Duo commented and Heero walked over, putting his hand on Duo's cold shoulder, gently massaging his skin. He was wearing a tank that covered most of his scars, though the hint of the deep V of an autopsy incision could be seen and Heero leant down, kissing at Duo's cheek, the cold of it against his lips.

"Yeah," Heero answered, "it's increasing."

It had been for some time. After he'd blown the airlock, Heero had still had times where Duo disappeared, where he ached for him, his touch, lived his life in his little rituals that were his attempt to keep him alive but recently, the past six months, Duo had not been absent at all and Heero knew that as the sun's activity kept increasing, there was a chance he'd never lose him again. Not even for a few hours.

"Yeah, kinda impressive."

Duo's tone was wistful, sad, as they'd argued recently at Heero's actions, at blowing the airlock, as Duo knew his rations would run out eventually and he knew it was now sooner rather than later. He knew Heero was losing some muscle tone, some body weight as Duo noticed damn everything and Duo also knew that he was a constant presence aboard the Solar now.

It was, Heero thought, the way the sun was a roiling mass of colours shifting in front of his eyes, the way he could see specks and dots of flares in the viewing panel and he took a sip of coffee before putting it down on the control panel, the screen showing data and read-outs but unable to show faces or people.

He grabbed for his laptop, opening up the programme and dragging across the other chair in the control room, Duo watching his actions out of the corner of his eyes. Heero opened up the recording, pausing and looking at himself before he hit the button and spoke.

"Duo, it has been approximately 1,400 days since you died," he said, his mind no longer calculating exactly those days, "but you came back to me."

It was all he said, closing down the programme again as Duo got up, taking the laptop off Heero's knee and grabbing hold of Heero's wrist tightly, forcing him to his feet.

"Always gonna come back for you," Duo said softly, his eyes dark and intense.

Heero nodded, leaning into him, pressing their foreheads together, their hair mingling together. "I always will too."

In the control room of the Solar, in a world isolated from everything, Heero held Duo tight to him, kissing him with open mouth and tongue, making love to him on the panels under the gaze of the volatile sun.

Heero did not have much time left with his supplies but he had been given more time with the man he loved and that was worth everything - the doubts about his sanity, his gradual starving to death and losing contact with everyone he ever cared about.

As his fingers entwined with Duo's cold ones, their bodies joined, Heero breathed out a "I love you" and closed his eyes, living in that moment, in the shadow of the sun as he had been given more time with Duo and that was all he'd ever wanted.

A/N: I usually just say a little "thanks for the reviews" at the end of fics but this time I am going to say a little disclaimer. The point of this fic was that it was ambiguous and open to reader interpretation. I wrote the fic purposefully so it could be read that the solar flares were making Duo appear or that Heero had made up the interactions due to his isolation and grief.

I have my own opinion as the author but my intent was that the reader could decide how they wanted to read it. If you do want to know what I thought, you can PM me but I hope that you take it whatever way you want - either that it's a story of true love overcoming even death or the story of one lonely man's grief. Either way, I'm glad that people read this one - it was very close to my heart and was a very difficult write but one that never quite let me go. I appreciate all of you, as always.