"Recast"

Written By: Kaeru Shisho

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story.

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Yaoi, AU, and an unlikeable Heero, Trowa, and Quatre, but very nice Wufei and Duo

Pairings: 1+2, 2x5x2

Summary: Wufei pursues Duo, who has been forsaken at the altar and is now trying to sort out his life, aiming to turn lost hopes into paradise found.

A/N: Thanks to Waterlily for generous feedback and improvements to the story throughout.

"Recast "

Chapter Four

When he heard a commotion in the hall outside his door, Duo first checked the clock. Lunch time. He was expecting Wufei to join him. Commotion. Wufei. Yep. His man had arrived.

"What's the problem?" he asked at the door.

"The hotel security." Wufei clipped off his words. "Not important. Not as important as this." He shoved his mobile device at Duo. "If you haven't seen it, then I arrived in time."

Duo hadn't seen anything to get excited about on the early morning newsfeed. "I don't spend much time reading. I have a timetable for this upgrade. So, what'sup?"

"It...it's preposterous!" Wufei nodded at the device so Duo took it. "I can't even say it."

Duo read the short article beneath the picture of Heero Yuy, an early regulation Preventers ID, Duo guessed, from the lack of scar over his left lip. "God, the idiot!" he shouted and then laughed.

"I don't know what you find so amusing. I think it's reprehensible. Has the man no shame?"

It warmed Duo to know Wufei had immediately come to his defense, that he didn't hunt Duo out wanting explanations or to deliver him a lecture. The man believed in him; he completely believed Duo was the innocent bystander. Duo felt very good about that.

"I agree, from the outside it looks bad, but knowing him... it wasn't his idea. Has the stench of Une on it, if you ask me. Look, he didn't say I gave him the, ah, the STD-"

"The bastard implies you left because of... it... and the wedding cancelled!" Wufei blustered over his words and looked flustered.

"This makes you uncomfortable. Talking about-"

"-Yes!" Wufei stopped him mid-sentence.

Of course. What straight dude wanted to talk about or hear about gay sex? Duo had always assumed Wufei was straight. Most men were. It was the safest bet all around. The indications that he was not completely heterosexual, (a few rumors circulated the office, but without justification, Duo thought; however...sigh, and there were those looks, sigh, those smiles) Duo decided, were just his imagination interacting with his libido.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything much," Duo tried explaining, choosing his words carefully, "except that it's not true and can't possibly have happened, and he knows it. He knows it, if you get my drift."

Wufei didn't get his meaning.

"Anything is possible. Even the failure of modern medicine and inoculations. Who knows what immunizations were skipped?"

Duo grasped his arm to stop it from slamming into his jaw or knock over the computer on his desk or break something important that belonged to the hotel.

"Don't blame me for what I'm gonna say. Remember, it is your density that's making me explain."

"My... what?"

"Obtuseness. Listen up. We could not in any way conceivable have transmitted any disease. No... transfer of fluids. Get me now, or do I need to be more specific?"

He watched his friend's face turn a dreadful shade of red. "No... I mean, yes! I mean... you and Heero never had... intimate contact?"

Talk about a prickly moment!

"Um... that's pretty damn personal, 'Fei, but considering how my personal life is non-existent these days... no. I've never...um... that is, I've done nothing that requires... um... yeah." 'Nuff said. Duo thought so. He had his back turned to Wufei by this time and was considering making a run for the door to avoid dealing with any more questions.

"I see."

When Duo did glance back to check if Wufei was still in the room, he was surprised to find his friend still there and wearing an almost-smile.

"I shouldn't be shocked to read about another rumor," Wufei said, "that Yuy contracted it from Une." Wufei had a most evil grin in place.

"You wouldn't!"

"Me? No, I wouldn't." Wufei abdicated the position of rumor monger. "Winner, on the other hand, is adept at that sort of thing. He may very well have something in the works already."

"But that's character defamation!"

"It was when your name was involved, too! Winner may be an employee of Preventers, but he is on the board of the Winner Corporation and two of his sisters are lawyers. He's still wallowing in guilt; you heard it in his voice I'm sure, despite his perfectly rational justification. You know, he honestly believed you and Heero had a chance and the mission would somehow bring you together. This will give him something he can do so he can feel he is atoning to you for all his transgressions."

"Well, putting it that way-"

"Duo, know this: we will not allow your good name to be ruined to cover up a dishonorable ending to a mission."

"Thank you, Wufei. You're a real friend. I hate myself much less with you around."

"There's nothing to hate," Wufei snapped and then smoothed the creases in his shirt as he conquered his emotions. "I'm reminded of a haiku another student wrote: If you hate yourself, then you haven't found, the parts of you that I have."

Duo's mouth fell open. He couldn't think of a single comeback worthy of the kind words. And if Duo thought he'd seen Wufei blush before, it was nothing compared to the current flush of red rising into his hair part.

"We should go to lunch, if you are allotted the single hour," Wufei said, and Duo allowed him to escape the room ahead of him.

(o)

"Laundry detail go okay?" Duo asked as he set his menu aside.

"Without a hitch, as they say, as you say," Wufei corrected.

It amused Duo how his friend liked pointing out his use of L2-lingo, but instead of making him feel inferior, Wufei would then add the vernacular to his own, enriching his vocabulary. He wondered if he'd been a student of linguistics in college? Someday he'd delve into Wufei's educational background, when they had hours to waste.

"Glad to hear it," Duo said.

"I dropped the bags off at the hut before I came for you."

"Ah. Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Water was poured, orders taken.

"You're trying to read my mind."

Wufei shook his head and denied the allegation. "No, I'm not. I'm not an empath or a mind reader."

"You were staring as if you could if you looked hard enough."

"Pardon me. What you say is right. It is bad manners to stare. I'll look elsewhere then."

He leaned back when the waitress arrived with their steaming bowls. "Thank you," he said.

Wufei was often polite, not always, but he'd learned manners, Duo noted.

Duo also observed that his eyes were still on him, studying him. "Uh, huh."

"I find that you are right in front of my eyes and... nice to admire."

Duo brushed away the compliment like he did all compliments. They made him uncomfortable when he heard them. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what motivated the other person to say those things. He'd never found an opening like that led to a good next step.

If his friend was scrutinizing him, Duo came to the conclusion that he must be deliberating, speculating about how he'd react, or would react to something he was about to ask. He thought about all the things Wufei must be wondering about him, but was afraid to ask, and decided to end the tension.

"Don't be afraid. Ask away. Today, I'm in the mood to provide answers to all your prying questions. What kind of questions? Well, like why don't I tan? Why don't I cut my hair? Why-?"

"How did he convince you to marry him? You must have loved him very deeply."

"Oh, wow. You don't pull your talking-point punches."

"You said-"

"Yeah, I did. Give me a second." Duo guzzled his glass of water to buy himself time to sort his thoughts.

"You don't have to-"

"Shush! I'm not gonna wimp out here. Okay. Um... I try not to think about it," Duo confided. "But the question keeps coming back to me: how could I have been so...damned blind?"

"Gullibility is excusable when faced with apparent candidness, especially when combined with the expectation of honesty. You believed what you wanted- possibly."

Duo thought Wufei tagged on that last note of doubt for some reason. He'd have to work that one over. "You don't think he actually felt anything towards me, do you? Don't blame you a bit for doubting! Hell, he's never been much of an actor. I just saw what I wanted, I guess."

If Heero had felt the tiniest amount of affection towards him, that would be something to hold on to.

Duo looked up from his noodle bowl to find Wufei studying his face. Ah, he hadn't really answered his questions, had he?

"I'm waiting."

Duo figured his friend was probably trying to figure out how he could have been such a fool, and if he wasn't off his rocker or something. He decided to make clear he had gone into the marriage idea of his own choice and he hadn't been crazy.

"I wasn't crazy and I'm not now," Duo said.

"I have never thought you were."

"Thinking Heero loved me? That's not crazy?"

Wufei had no answer to that. Gotcha!

"The only way I can explain it is this. Suppose a movie star, someone famous that you totally get off on more than anything in the universe, were to come up to you and smile and ask you out? You'd do it, right?"

"I would," Wufei replied without hesitation.

Duo guessed he had some voluptuous model in mind and went on. "And then this vision of perfection that you'd had in your head for years was charming and ... everything. And then this Adonis or, er, Venus, tells you he, or she, has to go on set on the other side of the universe in two days and he, or she, can't live without you and would you marry him, or her, the day after next... kinda a rush and all, but... would you say no?"

Wufei moved his head back and forth slowly. "No. I would have pushed aside every bit of better judgment I had."

"Like me? I don't know if you would have, 'Fei. You seem far more deliberate than that."

"You'd be surprised." Wufei smiled wistfully. "I can act as heedlessly as anyone else in love."

"You've been in love. I'm glad." He was actually in love with his lost wife, then, young as they were. "Good for you. How did you know?"

"When I first started at Preventers, I fell for someone."

"And-?"

"Not available... actually married to another agent. I was perfectly aware. My love poured over me, a thick honey of adoration. You can imagine how that played out sitting around the conference table with Commander Une and both married agents, the happy couple, present. It was terrible. I requested and got sent out on long missions and my feelings were replaced by...something ... they wore off."

A real dead end, one-sided affair. It hadn't been what Duo had been expecting to hear. At all. "I-I don't know if what I felt for 'Ro was love or not. I'm not feeling the love now."

"Infatuation is a shallow kind of love, but it's a real feeling. Love goes deeper and spans time and... It's all very unstabilizing at times, especially when you aren't sure it's returned," Wufei concluded quickly.

Duo thought his friend had more to say, but was keeping it inside, probably to keep from hurting Duo. It seemed to be troubling him, from the frown on his face. Feeling it was his turn to ask a question, Duo did, "What?"

"I always thought the four of you were close friends."

"The other Gundam pilots?" Duo shook his head. "Sorry to fry that illusion. Quat and I were kinda buds for a bit during the war. We stayed friends at Preventers, but then he got married and that took up most his free time, as it should, don't get me wrong. I kinda get now that we weren't as close as I'd thought we were. Anyway, it left me-" Duo waved a hand in circles while thinking of how to describe being isolated in a pack of agents and office workers.

"Feeling lonely and left out," Wufei supplied correctly. "I would have felt the same way. That's normal."

"Right."

"What about Barton?"

"Trowa and I were never friends and never partnered as agents. During the war, I think we fought against each other more often than we were on on the same side. Plus, he was married not long after Quat, so...- yeah."

"He married a woman from Iceland, didn't he?" Wufei asked.

"A beauty pageant winner. Jo... something. [A/N: this may be Miss Iceland 2007, Jóhanna Vala Jónsdóttir.] You ever notice that she looks exactly like Quat?"

"I've seen pictures," Wufei said. "She could be his double."

"Yeah, same features and that eye color, heh, heh... Wonder if he ever noticed?"

"How could he not?" Wufei asked. "You knew Winner best. How did he act around her?"

"Polite enough to set your teeth on edge."

The corners of Wufei's lips curled up fractionally. He had that I-know-a-secret expression that might have once annoyed Duo, but that now just made him want to kiss it away, a dangerous thought.

"Then he knew it was intentional," Wufei said. "I wonder what Winner thought it meant for his war-time lover to marry his female look-alike a month after his own marriage?"

Duo shook his head, unsure, and also trying to shake some sense into his own head. Kissing Wufei! "Never talked about it. Not with Quat or Trowa."

"There was no chance to get close. I understand," Wufei empathized.

"And you were mostly away on missions," Duo said.

"Avoiding distractions."

Duo thought about pursuing that interesting statement to see what he could learn about his new friend, and decided to take the indirect approach. If Wufei wanted to tell him, he would. "And there were other folks I got friendly with at work, but you know how other agents are?"

"I found them all focused and busy. I maintained my own detachment."

"Yeah, but we came to Preventers with our own distance-makers-auto-disconnect. Until the 'Gundam pilot' tag is removed from our foreheads, no one will treat us like equals."

"We have no equals," Wufei maintained without apology.

"I guess. So, anyway, that left me with only Heero to talk with at work, when he was around. I admit, I kinda had a crush on him from way back during the war, but since nothing ever came of it, I didn't push him."

"You probably were storing up every little thing that Heero said for years," Wufei said, a wistful softness in his voice, "and trying to convince yourself that he cared about you, even if they don't really mean anything."

At which point Duo wondered if Wufei was talking about himself, but he wouldn't call him on it. Even if he was, it was true for Duo as well.

"Yeah. It was all in my head along with a lot of other crap. I feel I can still talk to Quat when we run into one another, but other than the staged events, which you have attended also, I don't socialize with the others." Duo paused to chew and let Wufei figure out what that meant, which didn't work out.

"But you could have. You were often friendly combatants and you worked for the same organization. I was always the outsider."

"Yeah, well, I'm, you know, gay. It makes me the outer-most outsider."

"I'm gay, also." Wufei mumbled.

The noodle bowl slipped from Duo's fingers. Good thing he'd finished eating.

"I thought you knew that."

"No." Duo said in a gasp for the breath shaken out of him.

"I thought everyone was aware of my... infatuation with Merquise. I felt as if I had it stamped on my forehead at the time." Right under the "Gundam pilot" designation.

"No," Duo choked on the word. "I had no idea."

"Well, now you do." Wufei downed a glass of water, but it didn't hide his smug expression.

(o)

As they settled into their hammocks for the night, both young men were quietly aware that the delicate new information would have an effect on their friendship- was already causing changes to their relationship.

"'Night, 'Fei."

"Good night, Duo."

Without Duo's conversation, Wufei had only his own thoughts for company. Actually, Wufei had been fairly positive Duo hadn't been aware of his sexual preferences until he told him today. He'd hidden them, along with his attraction to Duo, completely and unambiguously from everyone at his workplace, following the extremely embarrassing Merquise affair. He'd made a mountain out of that mole-hill of an experience, but he'd still been a teenager and it had been such a mortifying incident, having Zechs' wife pull him aside and tell him it was "cute" but that the "googly-eyes" and "idolization of the prince" had to stop. Cute! How galling! It sucked the love right out of him, where he could cram it into a jar and ditch it out to sea on his next assignment.

And then Duo joined Preventers. Wufei could still remember that feeling, that long slow burn of desire for Duo from the moment he saw him walk into his new job at Preventers.

He cleaned up well in his Preventers uniform. Regular food and bathing improved his hair and skin, although the pale, translucent cast to his skin gave away his colony roots and he still had that slender, not-enough-to-eat look about him. Well, Wufei could fix that with some decent cooking. He knew the best restaurants he'd love taking him to.

Oh, Duo! His laughter was infectious; at least, Wufei felt like something had spawned in his bloodstream the moment he heard his rumbling, low laughter. His temperature skyrocketed, his vision went spinning, and his stomach twisted up into a fetid little ball of nerves.

When Wufei rushed over to greet him, Yuy and Barton and Winner were already monopolizing his space. What had killed him inside was the look of absolute adoration on Duo's face, because it had been directed at Yuy. Sure, who hadn't had a case of hero worship over Heero at one time or other? They all had, Wufei guessed. But his had worn off quickly when he'd tried to befriend him. Yuy had been a cold fish and totally self-absorbed-in short, a total disappointment.

And yet Yuy had the intelligence to want to be paired with Duo and help with his training and acclimatization to Preventers. Wufei couldn't fault his wisdom in that category. He wished he could have been partnered with Duo, but it was too late for changes. And Duo looked so damned happy about being Heero's choice.

He didn't want to interfere, and he certainly didn't want a re-play of his earlier disaster with Zechs and go lusting after someone who couldn't return the feeling. Wufei decided to volunteer for another long mission to take him away from the torture of having Duo just out of reach, so tantalizingly close, yet unattainable. It had worked to get him over Merquise; he hoped it would rub out the desire for Duo, too.

Wufei scrubbed at his face, sending a spider flying into the darkness. Sleeping outside had its drawbacks, but not many and all worth it if he got to spend it in a hammock next to Duo. He stifled a chuckle. What an idiot he'd been! As if he could forget Duo. He wasn't some well-oiled, wastrel of a prince doing time for his war deeds by working for that martinet Une! Duo was everything lively and wonderful. No, forgetting him had not worked. Not in the least. If anything, his feelings had intensified, his longing grown. What was it about him that he couldn't get out of his system?

He smiled, knowing the answer would come quickly. Everything. He was steaming hot where Zechs was ice and Heero sub-zero. His personality took over a room and included everybody in his warmth and in his overall bonhomie. He took everything in stride, jumping Une's hurdles one after another, and coming out, if not on top, pretty close.

Until this last mess.

Dear God. If only he had seen sooner how Duo was not getting anything from his Heero-worship but heartache. That irritated him especially when he heard about the fake-wedding plans and he learned that Heero had no actual affection for Duo. How could he not? How dare he not! How could Yuy waste such an opportunity!

Wufei knew then how excruciating it would be for Duo to go through a fake romance with someone he really did love. He had no problem putting himself in Duo's place and imagining the shock and pain. At the time, Wufei felt his objections had caused the project to be shelved for good.

He should have followed up, made the extra effort. But what if it had cost lives to do it? Revealing a clandestine position to make a call? Leaving his post? Even if he could have brought himself to do what it would have taken to get a call through to Duo or Heero or Commander Une, Duo wouldn't have wanted him to act dishonorably on his behalf. If he had it to do over, he doubted he would make a different choice today. That didn't stop him from wishing he could have found a way to stop the "false wedding mission".

There was no good punishing himself over it now, but he still continued to blame himself for not following up, somehow, and seeing it through to its complete and utter extinction.

If only! Everything would have been different now. Word would have gotten around to Duo that Heero wasn't for him. He would have been sad, but not broken. Wufei could visualize how he would have swept in and showered Duo with all the love and attention he deserved and won his love. Happy endings all around.

But, he'd dashed off on that mad mission a continent away, vowing to do something about his feelings for Duo on his return. Naturally, as luck would have it, the lengthy operation stretched on and on, doubling the planned time to complete. When he'd come back, it was too late. Duo had up and gone. Run and hidden himself away on this island.

Not completely hidden. He was hiding in plain sight of anyone who had cared to look.

Wufei smiled with pride. It had taken him, what, a minute to discover Duo's whereabouts? Of course, he was a top-notch Preventers agent. Had been.

After discovering what had happened in his absence, Wufei had reserved a day to lick his wounds, real and emotional, and take a long hard look at himself and his future. Did he have a future without Duo looming large in it?

Not a future he wanted, surely. Time away from Duo had only made his feelings grow stronger. And before leaving, he'd made that promise to himself to tell Duo how he felt- he never broke a vow. What if there was a chance Duo would want him, would he let Duo get away for good this time?

No, of course not! He would not make that mistake. But that meant giving up a career he liked and in which he had invested a lot of time and effort, to run off to be with someone who was not in any state to start a new relationship. Was that irrational or romantic?

Who cares? This wasn't some academic exercise, it was his life-the one and only one he had to live! He had another chance at Duo. He had to try and win him. That was the only thing worth his time thinking about.

Period.

And then he started to recall his last visit to Preventers main station.

"My resignation," Wufei ground out the words from between teeth clenched against saying more. The effort to exert control over his emotions was too much, though, and he slammed the paperwork on his commander's desk.

"What is this about, agent?" Une asked.

"You have to ask?" That he spit out. "You fuck over Maxwell like he's just so much dross in the system- and using Yuy- disgusting! And you have the audacity to question my decision? Why not ask me why I'm not ready to look the other way and just forget it ever happened?!"

"Why don't you? The others have." Une set down her tablet and looked directly at Wufei for the first time. "He's an agent. He did his job, now tear that up and do yours."

"They are human beings! The injustice, the dishonor... it's revolting! I would never be able to work alongside agents willing to stab another in the back. I would be forever looking over my shoulder. No. You can file that with these!" He ripped off his jacket with the many ribbons honoring his achievements, tore the badge from his pocket and the Preventers-issue gun from his holster, and piled them on the desk.

He stormed out of her office and proceeded to hunt down every man and woman who had had anything to do with that mission. Up until this moment, Wufei had totally blotted out that time period. It wasn't something he wanted to relive. He had dealt with the problem as he saw fit and then...it was time to go, stopping at the elevator door long enough to shout at the room of agents. "You can all go to hell!" The door opened with a "ding" and he spun on a heel, leaving the only job he'd ever been proud of behind.

Forever.

Now, Wufei considered that decision, and others, leading to his progress to date courting Duo. His objective was no longer just about obtaining and securing Duo's affection. He wanted to give Duo something to treasure forever.

He lay supine for a while, staring up and out towards the sea at a clear sky filled with stars. His heart beat hard. He held his breath, wishing he could freeze the moment. Duo was asleep; he could hear his breathing- quiet and even.

He drew a deep breath of his own in time with Duo's. The air smelled good, different from any other he could remember. Some odors took him right back to where he'd first encountered them, like the smell of tea-smoked duck. One sniff and he was strolling the L5 marketplace where shiny brown ducks hung over coals and smoky tea leaves.

What he had and treasured, were many fond memories of his childhood. Duo, he knew, had few. Duo had had a hard life and deserved, Wufei felt, a better one.

Yes! He would give it to him if it were the last thing he did! He vowed to make Duo's life a good one and provide him with as many good memories as he could so he could look back on his life with pleasure. And then, no matter was the coastal town Duo might visit, the smell of the sea would return him to this island, a tiny point where they met and had this strange magical time.

He wanted to make his stay the best possible for Duo, and maybe if people believed a magical system fixes everything, it would come true. He felt jubilant inside. He had an honorable goal. "Winning" Duo's heart might not be attainable, but doing something to make his life better was.

(A/N: Thanks go to Rhyanthia for her interest in what led up to Wufei's departure in Sanc, which helped develop this ending.)

TBC

Chapter 5

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