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"Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail "Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, male/male pairings of a most ridiculous
nature; told from Quatre's point of view, so beware the fluff. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 Summary: The GW boys are all cats finding their little paws in the big, bad world. For Dyna Dee. A/N: The author needs her head examined, as does
her friend and editor, Waterlily, who suggested it, but I wrote it
just the same in order to make you laugh and as an eleven chapter
gift to Dyna Dee! " Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail " Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, "I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?" - Bette Midler Chapter 1 -Dust Kitten I love my new house! It is so big! But then, so am I, now. I still remember my first home, and I loved that one, too, although the memories are fading. Miss Iria and I lived in a tiny apartment in a big city, where she was a terribly important doctor. I spent many hours by myself, exploring, so I knew every square inch of our home. My favorite spot was a thick cushion on a tall stand by a tall window. I could look out and see just how big a city it was. Buildings rose out of the land for as far as I could see. I do miss my secure little home there, where everything was in its place and I slept on her big bed, near the foot so I could look out the door into the darkness. And then there came the terrible move, the details of which I have put out of my mind, but it brought us to the new house in the country. I know it is not the city, because when I look out from my new special spot, on the same cushion but now it's on a wide, low window sill, I see living things. My picture window looks out into another world of giant green plants very unlike the neat, potted ones Miss Iria grew before. Many things are different, I'm discovering, and not all good, and some things are scary. Miss Iria is happy; Rashid has told me so, and he is very knowledgeable about the ways of people, so I know I will be happy, too, in no time! I watch my mistress leave every morning to drive to her little clinic. It's all her own and it makes her content and she sings now. From my comfy perch, I watch the birds outside. Unlike dear Rashid, the giant macaw that's my friend and who watches me all the time, the wild birds fly and sometimes sing. Rashid talks, but he doesn't sing. He tells me that's a good thing for his kind of bird. He says he can fly, but he has no need to because our mistress tends to his needs very well. I don't think he can. Why would a bird walk when he has those marvelous wings and can fly? I'd fly if I could! I can leap! I leaped from the tall stand in the apartment almost all the way to the table where Miss Iria set out her pictures. At the last second, I could see I was short a whisker, so I grabbed at the drapery to slow my fall. I'll never do that again! Miss Iria scolded me for "ruining her organza drapes!" They looked fine to me, and I don't think she understood how clever I'd been avoiding injury, but I never tried that leap again. I always obeyed her rules. I was and am a very good cat. She calls me Cat, or Good Kitty. It took me two days to explore nearly all the rooms of this new house. Some of the doors were closed, so I didn't go in, yet, but I will. I'm not a kitten any more so I am more cautious, a great deal cleverer, and far smarter. I will find a way past those doors. I have discovered that, although I may be able to wedge my body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate. I knew everyplace and everything in the little apartment and felt so safe there. When I go exploring in this new place, there are new dangers at every turn. New pieces of furniture I mustn't scratch. I must be more careful where I go and what I touch. Only a few days ago, I was drowsing at the window, lulled into a pleasant sleepy-wake state while watching clouds collect into dark masses, when a crack of thunder and flash of lightening woke me with a start. Every muscle had tensed, my fur stood on end, and I was two feet in the air! The instant all four of my little paws landed on the floor, I was dashing for the safety of Miss Iria's room. A new chest in the hallway had an old smell, a wonderful smell, and when I dashed by, I noticed one of the carved doors was ajar; I slipped a paw inside and pulled. If I can get my head inside, the rest of my body will follow with no problem, and that's just what I did. Inside were piles of lovely, soft things that felt like fur and smelled faintly of the perfume Miss Iria has worn. Dark and quiet, no bright lights or loud bags would disturb me there! I knew it was my finest discovery ever, and so I pushed and pulled and molded myself a cozy nest, and curled up for a much needed, and completely deserved, nap. I woke up in the dark. Not even a sliver of light from a crack in the door helped me see. I couldn't get out! The space was so small and the door closed tight. I panicked! I clawed and scratched and cried and finally Miss Iria rescued me. I was so relieved to be found and free that I didn't mind that the door was closed and locked, preventing me from going inside ever again. Not that I don't test it every now and then. Just in case. I'm confident that I'll master this house eventually, and when I do I'll love it as much as the tiny apartment. But I do miss my special, secret bed. (o) A Mister Tam moved into the house. Rashid has told me that he and Miss Iria are "in love." I wouldn't know. The man shares Miss Iria's room. I had to move out, and I don't understand why. There was plenty of room in that huge bed for all three of us! I was willing to share. They made me a bed of my own from a folded, worn blanket stuffed into a basket and shoved into the laundry room. At least it is warm! I know I'll grow accustomed to all the changes, and I am grateful to have a place that is just for me, but at first I felt dreadfully put out and moped around. Mister Tam must have felt some remorse, though, because he brought me a bowl of pretty fish to look at. I must not touch them. Master called them "Specimen Angelfish," a funny name. They shimmer and stare back at me and wave with their very fine fins, and I wave back. They swim and hide then. I think it's a game we play. Rashid thinks they are a waste of space. I don't see why. The house is huge and he's not crowded at all. He says I don't understand, but I do. He doesn't like sharing attention. He's been a pet of Miss Iria's for twenty years! I'm only two! But I'm a cat, not a kitten. Most of my coloring has come in, which means I'm quite nearly grown up. Iria told me so. "You are a Birman red-point, little Cat." I was born white with big round, blue eyes that will remain that way all my life, she told me. I can't imagine that. I started developing my colors right away, and now my real color is complete "at two years old and after a wintry season." I'm light, with a golden cast, as if misted with gold. My "points" - face, legs and tail - are peachy. My feet, I'm told, are very distinctive white and symmetrical. The perfect little gloves on my front feet go across in an even line, and on the back feet end in a point up the back of the leg, called laces. It is difficult to breed a cat with perfect white gloves and laces, Miss Iria told me, but that was what made me especially special. The best of the litter! And the only boy. I don't remember all those sisters, but I do remember many soft purring bodies curled up to mine. I wondered what happened to them? I'm sure they have nice homes, too. Miss Iria bought a piano for Mr. Tam to play. I loved the music that overwhelmed my ears and made me tingle and hum inside. When I joined them in song, however, I must not have chosen the right notes. Mr. Tam shushed me from the room after the first verse. I hadn't even delivered my best—I'd been saving that for the chorus! Rashid recommended that I sing in the laundry room where my harmonies could be better appreciated. I didn't sing harmonies, though! "I was attempting to reinterpret the melody in asynchronous discord!" "Perhaps you should re-think that decision for future sing-a-longs." Rashid knew everything. (o) Sometimes one day flowed into the next in a way that melted time into one big puddle. Water lay heavy on my mind. I lay curled comfortably on my shelf gazing out the window. Rain poured down. "It's so dreary, Rashid." Miss Iria had moved in a new perch for the large bird so he could look out the window and climb about, uncaged. I liked having him close for company, but I think even more than that I liked the layers of paper Miss Iria placed under the stand. Rashid just used the paper to mess, but I loved to scratch at the edges. If my nails weren't so closely trimmed, I'm certain I could have shredded all the paper in only a minute. As it was, though, I could only tear off a few scraps to send skittering across the floor. Miss Iria liked a tidy house and didn't like me to "make a mess", so I learned to pack my papers bits under the couch for safe keeping. "That it is," he agreed, "But not everywhere. There are places where dry sand stretches for as far as you can see." Immense litter boxes. I had heard his tales before, about faraway places he'd lived in the past. I hardly knew whether or not to believe him, but that didn't matter; I loved to listen. "Tell me about them." "Very well." He ruffled his feathers and drew himself up while gathers a deep breath. "The wind blew the sand into giant drifts, taller than this house—" As I listened, I imagined myself frolicking in the sand under the hot sun until I reached a tent with a bowl of cool water to drink and a soft cushion to nap on. It would have been the best nap, except that Miss Iria was upset when she came home. She and Mr. Tam shouted about a dead mouse she discovered on the doorstep. A mouse! There were no mice in her home and would be none—"Cat will see to that!" she assured him. "He's probably found a way out and left this." Oh! Oh, dear! A mouser? Me? Oh, no. Rashid had taught me the ways of the pacifist. Not that I can't fight or won't under the right circumstances. The true warrior who chooses to be a pacifist is willing to stand and die for his principles, Rashid told me. I'm no coward, but I won't kill little animals just for the sport. I promised Rashid to refuse to kill, injure or otherwise cause suffering to another creature, unless it was to defend the lives of others. "You think so?" Mr. Tam asked. He didn't sound convinced that I was capable. "I doubt that animal would know which end of a mouse is which, but, if you'd like, I'll fix that cat door in the garage for him." What cat door was that, I wondered? But more worrisome was the mouse issue. What would I do should I come across a mouse in the kitchen? I'm sure I could give it a strong talking to and convince it to leave, and to take all its friends and family with it. I can look very fierce, if need be. I really hoped I'd never encounter a mouse. (o) I awoke the next day to the bright rays of sun on my back. No rain! The only thing on my mind was the "cat door." All thoughts of mousies had dried up in the clear light of day. I toured the quiet house all the way to the door to the garage, where mistress and master house their cars. The door stood open a crack, clearly and invitation to enter. One push was all it required of me. I'd been a perfectly wonderful little Cat all week, surely this was my reward! I didn't much care for the cold place smelling of oily cars and stacked high with boxes, none open. Then I discovered a little round door just for me! It had to be! People were far too big to use it! I pushed on the flap and peeked out into the OUT-OF-DOORS. I had never been there. A breeze tickled my nose with fascinating smells, few of which I could identify and all of which enticed me to step out the door and explore the possibilities. The sound of a car engine was followed by the noise of the garage door opening. Not today! I wouldn't be going out today. In an instant I'd turned tail and dashed back into the house, scurrying to my porcelain food bowl, which was beautifully embellished in gold with my name. I couldn't actually read the lettering, but I knew that it was mine. And there I would wait to be served my turkey and liver, minced, not chunked. No outside adventures for me. Rashid had warned me. "Curiosity kills the Cat," he'd say, repeating the moral conclusion to some parable he'd learned. It had kept me in line as a kitten, but I was grown up now. I was a cat ready to fend for myself, if I had to! Tomorrow, perhaps. No, Tomorrow for sure, I promised myself, if only a step or two, I would go outside. And this time two mice lay dead by the back door when Miss Iria arrived home. (o) Oh my! Outside was so very large a place! I decided to take it all in slowly. I crawled all the way out and sat only inches from the opening. That way I could dash back in at a moment's notice should it be necessary. What a pretty day it was! I hadn't known what a lovely sound leaves made when they slid against one another. And the sun! It was even nicer on my fur in contrast to the cool air. I sat and watched. For a long, long time. First, I couldn't take in everything so I concentrated on a leaf being blown around. The motion fascinated me. Was it alive? It acted alive but it didn't smell alive. I trotted closer and batted at it. No. It was not alive. A butterfly fluttered past. It didn't move at the whim of the breeze; it was without a doubt alive. I couldn't resist it! Off I went, chasing the ephemeral thing, jumping, leaping scampering across the cement patio and out onto the soft green grass. Oh! I loved the feel of that on my paws. Suddenly, the world spun around as I went topsy-turvy, tripping over the plastic snake, "the hose". I knew the hose. I'd seen it spitting water before, but I hadn't noticed it slinking across the lawn like that until I'd caught a paw, then over I went. "Ha, ha, ha! What a goofus!" What?! "Who said that!" I was a little frightened, frankly. Someone had been watching me unseen. Rashid had told me it was my job to defend my territory, which I took to be my house and garden. I took Rashid's teachings to heart and decided that taking a tough stance against the brigand was better than a friendly approach. "Where are you? Come out, coward, and meet me face to face!" "Hey, dude, chill, okay? I was just screwing with your head. You can draw those claws, such as they are. Fancy-ass trim jobs. Really. Relax. You actually made a cool somersault, which reminded me of another cat I've seen sniffing around lately. You're not with the circus, are you?" Okay. This wasn't going to require me to defend myself, I could tell, so I sorted out what the other cat had said and answered back as accurately as I could. He spoke an unfamiliar dialect, so I may have misunderstood some of what he'd said. I did not misinterpret his intentions, though. I could feel his happy spirit and general bonhomie. "I'm so sorry! I-I do go to a groomer for a manicure, if that's what you meant about my claws, and I have never, ever been to the circus, much less been a part of one. Do you really think my somersault was... cool? Is that good?" "Yeah, I do, and, yeah, it is. You're new around here, huh?" "Not too new. I moved in several weeks ago, but this is my first time outside. Do you live nearby?" "Sure do! Right next door, so to speak, since the houses are far apart that means over that fence, across the field, 'round the pond, and... a bit further off. I'll show you sometime. Du-ude, this place is awesome." I was very proud of my home, the pretty trees, and lovely flowers. "Thank you. My name is Cat, by the way." "Duo, at your service!" We touched noses. His was cool and moist. His eyes were very large and blue. "You have very soft fur," I told him. He seemed pleased that I'd noticed and purred. "Maine coon and probably a bit of Siamese tossed into the mix, 'cause of the eye color, or so I've been told." "Oh, Maine coons are a wonderful breed. Very hardy." He was very amusing, but also extremely attractive with a distinctive heavy, smooth, shaggy coat. "I can imagine the Siamese contributes to your vocalization as well." "My...what? Eh, no matter. The fur's a headache in summer or fall! Gotta love fall with all the ticks and burrs that get tangled up from the meadow." "Oh that doesn't sound nice at all!" "Lucky for me I got my bud to help with the grooming, and then come winter, long fur comes in handy, but then you'd know that. You're a pretty kitten." "I'm NOT a kitten! I've got my colors!" "Hey, sorry! No harm intended, okay?" "Oh, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. It's just a sensitive point with me, being the youngest of a very large litter." "Like I said, no harm, no foul and all." "Thank you. You are very gracious. And thank you for the lovely compliment. Do you come out frequently?" "Oh, yeah, I'm outside most of the time looking for some action...er... friends to play with, you know?" "Some cat friends would be lovely to have," I said, sighing. "Well, count me as your first-and-foremost friend. Say, you got anything to drink around here?" "I have my water bowl inside—" "Looka this!" I scampered to Duo's side where he was already head down in a pool of water, but not just any pool. "That's Miss Iria's special Water Garden!" He looked up, licking his face. "It's a rock with a hole that collects water. Don't get fussy." Well, it was, of course, just that. And I was starting to sound like a fuss-budget. Rashid warned me to curb that habit, but it was Miss Iria's rock with a hole in it! The harm was done, though. I tried to cover Duo's muddy footprints with leaves as he sauntered off to sit in a sunny spot oh, so near the pretty flowers that I knew, just knew, Miss Iria must have cherished because she spent time tending them. "Oh, Duo, be careful!" He wasn't particularly careful, but it was nothing I couldn't fix, and then we set to a good thorough cleaning and long stretch. I felt completely exhausted of all my energy and watching Duo drop languidly under the dapple shade, beckoning me to join him, was just too much to fight. I drifted off to sleep in the comfort of another cat's warm fur and deep purr, a luxury I hadn't shared since cuddling with my sisters in my kittenhood. I could hear the rustling of leaves and crow caws in the far distance, but mostly it was the drone of Duo's purr that lulled me to sleep. (o) You can imagine my distress, then, to find myself rudely awakened by a heavy weight on my ribcage and the snarling, hissing of a cat! My eyes flew open to see teeth bared and enraged, blue eyes in my face. Was I afraid? Not immediately. "This is MY home!" I yowled. "Get off me!" The stranger did not move, but he blinked. I struggled to get up enough to discover he was terribly strong and heavier than I. He knew it, too, and the grimace on his face turned to a cruel smile, for a second. Just as I was going to sink my claws into whatever part of him I could reach, the funniest thing happened. A furry paw one with long hairs feathering from between the toes came from out of nowhere and boxed my attacker in the muzzle. I had totally forgotten about Duo. "Get off, you big lug!" he shouted. I watched my new friend and the stranger tussle in a blur of brown and grey and white. The fight was over quickly with, thankfully, no blood and very little loss of fur—all Duo's. Duo reached up and swiped away some of his light fur from Heero's whiskers. "Totally uncalled for!" The stranger blinked and sat back on his haunches. "Why?" "Because he's a new buddy! Geez! For the love of Bastet, did I look like I was in trouble?" "No," the stranger replied sulkily. "You were snuggled together." "Cat napping, right. Warm sun, nice day—who wouldn't wanna nap? And then you come along and—" "Never nap with a stranger; you know that rule," Heero interrupted. "And you went exploring alone—" "Just one moment," I interjected. I'd had time to gain my composure and felt it was time to assert myself. "You know this cat?" I asked Duo. "Yeah, let me introduce to you my buddy, Heero." Heero didn't look me in the eye. He looked me over and over, making me uncomfortable, and then settled his blue glare on Duo. "I'm Miss Iria's Cat and this is my back yard. You have no right to come here and attack me, do you understand? As for setting rules-" Duo was snickering. The entire scene might have appeared a little comical at the moment, but tough and strong as the chocolate cat was he wasn't any bigger than either Duo or I. I had to defend my territory or lose it! To my amazement, it worked, even though I completely lost my train of thought. "I'll go," Heero said and casting a lingering look, a mournful one, at Duo before he turned to leave. "Aw, geez, 'Ro. It's not like that. Don't you see? Cat and I, we're just buds. He's not... well, he's not a kitten, but he's pretty young, if you get my drift. Not experienced like you and me. He needs protection." I did not! I was fully prepared to defend myself, but one look at my carefully groomed claws and I knew I was not. Compared to Heero's sharp fangs and claws like steel blades, I could tell I was in no shape to take on the mature ruffians that might be lurking outside. Not yet. "That's right. Stand down, soldier." Duo's words worked like magic to mollify the other cat. And then he licked his face. More than once. Heero began to purr. "Protection. I can do that." "Sure you can. You're the best. You are a survivor. You an' me, we'll keep the others away until Cat here can do the job alone, okay?" All the bristling fur settled into place and I felt able to "stand down" as well. "Hey, dude! You brought me a treat!" To my horror, in his teeth Duo held up a teeny-weeny grey mouse by the tail. It swung slightly to and fro, nearly dead. But not quite, just stunned, I was thinking. I pounced, knocked the mouse free, sending it sailing through the air. Before the others could catch it again, I was hustling the dear mousey under a log. "Hey! That was mine!" I turned on Duo. "You should be ashamed, hurting a defenseless wee mouse like that. You were going to play with it, torture it, weren't you?!" "Huh? Uh, yeah, probably. It's a mouse, or was a mouse." Duo eyed the log, and then me clearly angry. "Why'd you do that for?" "Because you didn't need the nourishment and it's cruel to hurt weaker animals for sport. You appear well fed." I really didn't know what his circumstances were and suddenly I feared I'd taken away his lunch! "You do get plenty to eat, don't you?" "Don't get your dander up, Duo," Heero was laughing. "You sure know how to pick them!" Duo looked from him to me as if he wasn't sure which of us to tear into first, and then he completely shed the anger and grinned. "Guess it was the thought that counts anyway, huh? Thanks, 'Ro, for the treat. And you!" I scuttled backwards a few strides. "Me?" "Yeah, you. You gotta lot to learn about being a cat." The nerve of him! Who did he think he was talking to me in that manner? Duo, telling me about manners and Heero setting rules for behavior in my territory! They were both too bossy. Of course, it was my own fault. If I didn't stand my ground, what else should I expect? "You think you are qualified to teach me about feline behavior?" I told him in my most refined voice. "You aren't any older than I am, and I suspect you haven't experienced life more than a few miles from your home." Take that! "I've lived in the big city with towering building, glass, and rock everywhere." Duo was no longer speaking to me, but Heero offered a comment in his place. "No rats or mice where you lived?" "I'm sure there were plenty, birds, too, but unless you were a stray having to hunt for your every meal, then you must learn to live and let live. I'm a firm believer in the ideal of pacifism." Again, it was Heero who spoke. "I understand. I'm a reluctant soldier who feels sorry when I am forced to kill." Oh, yes! "There is nothing more valuable than life in this universe." * Duo snorted. "Yeah, sure. In your fantasy world, all the beasts of the land love one another." "Well, it would be nice, wouldn't it, if it were true? It can start with us, here." "Only peaceful relations, huh?" Duo chuckled and looked to Heero for support. "Wait till Wufei gets a load of that!" How many blood-thirsty pussycats were there out here? "Who is Wu-Fei? Another cat?" "Oh, he's a cat all right. Definition of a real sourpuss. Pompous ass, too." Duo mumbled that last part so I might have misunderstood the breed name. I don't think so, though. "You'll meet him soon enough," Duo assured me with confidence. I wasn't at all sure I wanted to meet this Woo-Fay. "You might wanna let those nails grow out a bit in the meantime." "I might—what?" "Do what I do and stick to the carpets and avoid the hard floors at home. You know, don't let the humans hear the nails click-tick-tick and you might get away with developing some real extra claw length." "I'd like that." But not to pick on weak little creatures or pretty birds (Wouldn't Rashid have a fit if he found out I caught a bird!). I was thinking about the need to defend myself. "What about—?" I began to ask, but Duo's attention was on Heero. "Eh, what's that, 'Ro?" "Relena's... calling me." He didn't sound excited at all. His eyes narrowed and he stared into the distant bushes. "I'll take care of this." "And Relena is yet another cat?" I asked. "There are an awful lot of cats in the area, aren't there?" "More than you think," Duo said, intent on Heero's departure. "Relena's a pampered Persian in a house with dozens of them. One of those dreaded cat breeders. She likes 'Ro." He said something more, but a quick movement in the trees caught my attention. A shadow flitted from limb to limb, disappearing into the dark and reappearing many feet further seconds later. Whatever is that? I was about to ask Duo what he thought, when a pair of squabbling squirrels shot out of the canopy. "Oh! Just squirrels... no, Duo! Don't chase them!" On the other side of the shrubbery, I heard Heero's low mau and then an answering one and then what sounded like a fight. "I'm lucky to have a friend like Heero to chase off the bad cats," I said to no one in particular. "Duo, too. They're violent and dangerous, but they're all really nice guys."* (o) A few days of rain kept me indoors. Not that I minded the rain. I am not a pussy about getting wet! I've tolerated baths before. Just. Miss Iria didn't want muddy footprints- that was all. So, I watched from my window seat, where I saw absolutely no sign of the other cats outside toughing it out in the showers, either. Both Duo and Heero appeared groomed and fed and cared for, so I was positive they were spending their days sleeping like I was. I imagined them snoozing in perches like mine and wondered if they lived in the same house. They hadn't shared a thing about their home life. When I nibbled at my kibble, which tasted so bland I moved over to my chopped giblets, I pictured my new friends having a snack like mine—from a box or can and not caught on the run. "I hope theirs is tastier than mine today," I said, giving my bowl one last sniff before refusing it. "Nothing tastes right." I had to admit the nice, fat rat Miss Iria found, dead, by the door, gave off an enticing aroma, but it wasn't I who killed it! "Wake up, Rashid, and tell me a story about the dry litter box land you came from." "Er, eh?" "It's still raining cats and dogs," I wined. "Not..." Rashid lowered his voice to a whisper to say, "...dogs..." His beady eyes glared at me from under the brightly colored fringe of feathers. "Do not suggest such a thing. It might bring them upon us. Now, what is so important that it required you to awaken me?" Now, I felt a little bad to disturb the grumpy bird. "Tell me a story? If you would, please?" "What? You know all my stories. Find something constructive to do. There must be some bit of paper you can paw about and leave me to rest. Where are your new friends you've been squawking about incessantly?" "Duo and Heero aren't out in this weather either." Thinking about them perked me up temporarily. "Duo is so easy to like. He's friendly and curious and affectionate and adventurous, and a little shy as well. Heero is still a little stand-offish with me, but he adores Duo, I can tell." "I know, I know," Rashid cut in when I took a breath. "You told me all that before. Go... take a nap and leave me to mine, now. I'm an old macaw, dear kit." For the first time in my life, I grew bored after simply padding about my home and having to view the world outside through the picture window. A box seat no longer satisfied me; I wanted the real thing. TBC * These are direct quotes from Quatre R. Winner in the GW series.
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