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"Agglomeration"Written By: The Plotting Housewife Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sotsu
and associated Parties. This work is written for pleasure not profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Smut, Humor, Crack Pairings: Trowa/Quatre Summary: Duo makes a double entendre that only
increases the awkwardness of the current predicament. "The Cat In Quatre " “Ohhh…Trowa, yes…YES YES YES!” Wufei sputtered and choked on his tea. He hunched over the table, coughing hysterically with his closed fist over his mouth. Duo grinned and slapped him on the back. “Drink it, don’t aspirate it, Wu-man.” Heero was leaning against the kitchen counter by the window, holding his own mug of tea. He was watching Wufei cough up a lung with rather blasé expression. “You know, Duo. That actually doesn’t help.” Duo gave Wufei’s back a hearty thump and looked up, confused. “What doesn’t help?” “That, you idiot. Hitting people on the back when they’re choking doesn’t help. You have to do the Heimlich maneuver.” “Ohhhhh…” Duo sprung up out of the chair, the scrape loud over the spasmodic coughing. He stepped behind Wufei who was waving his arms in an attempt to ward him off and wrapped his arms around the Chinese man’s torso. “Alright, Fei. Hang on. I’ll save you!” Wufei’s voice was strained, reedy as he struggled to speak. “I don’t - *cough* need - *cough* the Heimlich, *cough*, Max - *cough* well!” Duo yanked his arms despite the protesting, jolting Wufei who was trying to reach behind himself to bat the braided pilot away. “Don’t worry, buddy. We’ll get it out.” He yanked again and received a clumsy smack to the side of his face. “Ow!” “I said I don’t - *cough* need it, you fool! There’s nothing *cough* stuck in my airway!” His coughing seemed to be subsiding now. “Let go of me, damn it!” Duo gave one last yank before he stepped away. “There! All better now?” Wufei spun around on his chair and glared at the braided man. “Don’t you ever do that to me again, Maxwell. I don’t care if I am choking to death.” “Jeez, that’s the last time I do you any favors,” he grumbled and walked back to his seat. A snort alerted Wufei and he glanced up sharply to see Heero laughing and trying to hide it behind his mug. “Stuff it, Yuy.” “Oh, fuck. Trowa!” Duo snickered. “Who knew Quat was a screamer.” Wufei’s face contorted in revulsion. “Maxwell, can you not?” “What? They’re just doing the dirty. You know? Something humans have been doing since the dawn of time? Don’t be a prude, Fei-man.” Wufei’s cheeks bloomed a bright pink. “I’m not a prude,” he muttered. “Trowa! Oh…oh God!” “Heh. Trowa puts the Cat in Quatre. Haha!” Duo slapped the table and threw his head back, cackling loudly. Wufei and Heero exchanged confused glances. “That doesn’t make any sense, Maxwell.” “It does if you know Tro.” “The hell does that mean?” Duo looked from one pilot to the other and scratched the back of his head. “Er…Trowa calls his…you know,” he waved his hand in front of his groin. “Cat.” “Oh, Christ. That was much, much more than I needed to know. I’m going for a walk.” Wufei stood up and walked out of the kitchen, blushing fiercely. “I’ll join you.” Heero seemed to be sporting a similar shade of flustered and followed the Chinese man out. Duo shrugged and finished off his coffee. “Well, I thought it was funny.” “Mmm…Trowa. Fuck, yes.”
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