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"Agglomeration"Written By: The Plotting Housewife Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sotsu
and associated Parties. This work is written for pleasure not profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Mentions of past [emotional] abuse Pairings: Trowa/Quatre Summary: Trowa teaches Quatre how not to fear the dark Notes: I needed to channel my own trauma into
something productive so I decided to manifest it into a little drabble "Don't Fear the Dark " For Quatre, the dark was always a double-edged sword. It enveloped him with long, twisted talons and gripped him with terror while he endured his father's rages. Cowering in his bed at night while he, pissed on the bottle, would tower over him, only a dark silhouette against the window, larger than life and spitting hate and condemnation. You killed her. It should have been you. I could have made so many more like you in the lab. I told her to abort. Told her you would kill her with your sinful existence. But she never listened to me and now she's gone. The best thing that ever happened to me is gone because of you. It makes me sick just looking at you. You're replaceable. You've always been replaceable. Murderer. On the flip side, the dark encased him in a feeling of safety, anonymity. His demons couldn't see him in the void and he used it, like a shield, a blanket, against the voices who constantly reminded him of what he was. A pawn. A killer. Replaceable. Worthless. It was no wonder Quatre had grown up a bitter, angry child. Resentful of everyone around him. His sisters were no help in that respect either, echoing their father's vitriol. They couldn't understand why he was so special. A Godchild, the only one born naturally and in their culture, a pariah, a curse as his very existence resulted in death. He was a symbol of bad luck in his family, a talisman, a broken mirror. The silver spoon in his mouth was barbed with thorns dipped in crimson and it wasn't much of a loss when he'd been disowned for joining the war efforts. Not much of a loss for either side. It had been a shock when the leader of the Maguanacs had slapped him and told him to take pride in himself. Take pride for what exactly? That he'd been groomed despite his father's hatred, for WEI's convenience? That he was an accident? A tragic, horrific accident? That he'd killed his mother? Maybe the Maguanacs had something to be proud of, but Quatre didn't. Not until he sat in the cockpit of a mobile suit for the first time and did something entirely of his own volition. Made his own decisions and saw them through. That was the first time he'd actually been able to see himself as a human being. The second time was after meeting Trowa. For within the quiet boy, he'd seen the same sense of worthlessness and made a vow to show Trowa how valuable he really was. And in doing so, he'd learned to find his own worth, his own value. But the nights were still hard and by the end of the second war, he and Trowa had taken their relationship to the next level. Trowa had been perplexed when he found out that Quatre had needed a nightlight to sleep. Upon asking the blond why, Quatre had cryptically responded, "So I can see the enemy." It wasn't until two years later that Trowa finally discovered what he meant and had made his own vow to show Quatre that there was no reason to fear the dark. It had taken time and patience, but Quatre eventually got there. With strong arms, soft words, and even softer kisses, Quatre's tension when the lights went out gradually began to fade. His racing heart and shallow breaths began to slow, and with Trowa's love and devotion, he finally learned not to fear the dark.
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