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"Seven Days of Spring Break "Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: modern day AU, a little bit o' marijuana use, some m/m sex, light cursing, potentially triggering discussion of miscarriage, and a large bit of serious psychological, angsty stuff wrapped in a sappy sugar coating of good feels. Pairings: 1x2, past 6x1, previously unrequited
1x4, 5xS. Summary: Suffering from situational depression, Heero agrees to accompany his best friend and travel 900 miles to his hometown on their last spring break as undergrads. He didn't expect to meet a man who would make him question his very understanding of what it means to be happy.
"Seven Days of Spring Break " Tuesday | Day Four | Heero Hikes, Goes Swimming in his Boxers, and Eats Marshmallows
The rest of the night was somewhat awkward between them. Heero didn't know exactly what to say to correct the situation and he wasn't used to Duo being so unsure of himself. But it was easy for them to avoid each other as the whole gang stayed late into the night and they drank and ate burgers and Quatre's father even joined them for a while, regaling them in stories of his business ventures abroad in a way that everyone found fascinating despite the rather dull subject matter. Heero awoke the next day determined to make things right between him and Duo, even if he couldn't explain his actions. "Duo's supposed to be arriving around lunch," Quatre announced over breakfast and Heero nodded, a bit disappointed that he'd have to wait hours to see him. Quatre let him eat in silence for a moment before he caught his attention with a mischievous grin. "You like him, don't you?" Heero blinked at his friend's forward question and shrugged a touch self-consciously. "You were right. He is a nice guy." Quatre laughed. "Oh, I know I was right about that. But I mean you like him, right?" Heero didn't answer, he just stared intently at his bagel as if it could somehow rescue him from a conversation he really didn't want to be having. "Your ex was a real jerk, wasn't he?" Heero's head snapped to Quatre then, unsure how his friend knew he was ever involved with anyone considering the amount of secrecy Milliardo had required. "Oh, you can't put too much past me," Quatre explained away his otherworldly knowledge. "I don't know who it was - though I have my suspicions - but I knew way back in freshman year that you were seeing someone. Of course, at that point I thought it was a girl." He winked and Heero felt conflicted. Quatre was his best friend but there was so much he hadn't told him that it seemed ridiculous to tell him now. "He wasn't a jerk. He was just... complicated." Quatre snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, real complicated. You've smiled more in the three days you've known Duo than you did in the two years you dated that guy. Probably more than in the whole four years I've known you!" Heero wanted to hide his face as the complexity of what Quatre said hit home. Maybe he really was never happy with Milliardo. To some degree he knew that but to have it all laid out by someone completely outside the situation was disturbing and more than a little embarrassing. "He kissed me," Heero said suddenly, unable to meet Quatre's eyes. "Come again?" Quatre asked as he choked on his orange juice. "Saturday, at the party," Heero explained. "He kissed me." "Jesus Christ!" Quatre blurted and Heero was forced to look up at him then, since Quatre rarely cursed or took the lord's name in vain. He looked suitably contrite about the outburst too. "What was he thinking? And you're okay with this? Why didn't you tell me? I can call this whole thing off - we don't have to see him at all for the rest of the week." He shook his head. "No, no, it's okay. It was..." Heero didn't know what to say about that sweet, starlit kiss that wouldn't demean it so he changed directions. "I do like him. He's different but..." He was struggling to express himself but Quatre just waited patiently, knowing Heero to be a private and internal person. Finally, he just decided to get down to the crux of the issue. "It doesn't matter. He lives here. It's nice to have his attention for a week, but that's all it is." There. He said it. It was a good reminder to himself that maybe it was better that he'd accidentally distanced himself yesterday. All that Duo would ever be able to amount to for him was a weeklong fling and Duo didn't deserve that. He was better than that. And even if he'd met him back home in Ithaca or Boston or New York City or even the goddamned Vineyard the fact would remain he was uneducated, unambitious, unwilling to be the kind of life partner that Heero needed if he was going to get his doctorate and make a name for himself in business or politics. So whether he was here or there it didn't matter - they weren't meant to be. Sadly, Heero realized that fun wasn't anywhere in his life goals. Maybe itwas okay to try out Duo's idea of fun for a week, but a week was all it was. Fun was someone else's life. Not his. "Oh, Heero," Quatre said quietly and Heero set his glass down a little too hard. The last thing he wanted was Quatre's pity. "No," Heero replied harshly, wanting to circumvent his friend's good intentions. "We are complete opposites. He's only interested in me because I'm probably the first gay man he's seen here in years." There. That was the truth. Duo said so himself that first night, that Heero was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Quatre shook his head. "No. Duo's not like that." "How do you even know what he's like?" Heero shot back cruelly. "You haven't lived here with him these past four years. He could be desperate. I could be -" But he stopped himself just in time before he admitted to both of them just how lonely he truly was. He cursed himself. This was why he didn't have meaningful, heart-felt conversations like this. Quatre just pinned him with those too damned sympathetic eyes. "It doesn't matter," Heero repeated. "I have more important things to focus on." His friend scowled. "You know I'm just as -" Heero glared at Quatre but Quatre glared back. "Let me say my piece then I promise I won't say any more about this, okay?" Heero sighed roughly and turned his eyes back to his plate. Quatre started again. "You know I'm just as ambitious as the next man - you heard my father's stories last night, everything he's done, I have big shoes to fill if I want to take over his business one day - but you shouldn't be so blindsided by your ambitions that you forget about yourself." Heero scoffed and shoved his plate away. What did Quatre know? He had the adoration of his father, friends and family that cared for him, and now that his grandfather was gone Heero had no one, nothing. He hadn't seen his own father since the funeral - before that, his graduation from boarding school. The boarding school he was shoved into at ten because his father wanted to move to New York City with his mistress and he couldn't be bothered with his dead wife's child. Quatre didn't know what it meant to be alone. "We are not meant to be alone, Heero." His fists shook at the memory and tested his balance as he stood. "I've been alone a long time, son. This is all for the best." Ignoring Quatre's concern, he left the kitchen. It wasn't for the best. "I'm not afraid to die, it is a beautiful part of life to be reunited with the Earth." He slammed open the sliding glass door and started off to the tree line. Maybe he wasn't afraid to die, but Heero was. Heero didn't want him to die. "You are a solitary boy, so absorbed in your own thoughts. I've always liked that about you - you remind me of myself as a young man." He stood, staring at the trees, unsure of what he was doing or where he was going, and he bit down on his lip, forcing himself to breathe, forcing himself to think rationally. "Promise me you won't make the same mistakes I made. Promise me you'll find someone to share your life with." He didn't even know how to make that promise. At the time he thought selfishly of Quatre, thought of his past with Milliardo, thought that if those were to be his experiences with love then he'd rather not even try. And now this? It wasn't fair that he should be attracted to Duo. It wasn't fair that he should meet someone here, someone like him, which would make him feel this complicated way. Maybe he wasn't meant to be alone, but he was certainly better off that way. He couldn't think like this. The past and the present blurred together too seamlessly when he was with him. He just couldn't think. Heero sat down and buried his head against his knees for a long time. Remembering those last few days while his grandfather faded from this world. Remembering fleeting flashes of his mother, wraithlike, the very act of trying to protect those memories as he aged causing them to erode and disappear. He wondered if eventually he wouldn't be able to remember her at all. If she would eventually leave him completely. And he wondered if the same thing would happen to his grandfather as well. It was a long time before Quatre came out and sat down next to him. They stared at the trees together, their gentle wind-swept sway rhythmic and soothing. Quatre rested a hand on his shoulder and Heero found himself appreciating his friend's attempt at comfort. Shortly after they returned to the house to watch TV and Heero tried to draw himself out of his funk but he struggled. To Quatre's credit, he didn't bring Duo up again and Heero realized what a good friend he truly was and that maybe it was better they were never lovers because he would've hated to lose that friendship when he inevitably screwed up the relationship. But eventually he had to face reality and they were eating sandwiches prepared for them by Jennifer when Duo, Wufei, and Trowa were escorted into the kitchen. "Yes! Perfect timing!" Duo cheered, enthusiastic as usual, and he grabbed a sandwich off the platter and downed it in record time. By contrast, Heero had suddenly lost his appetite. "You gotta eat up, 'Ro," Duo warned him with a wink. "We've got a lot ta do today!" Heero wondered how he could be so friendly after he basically rejected him yesterday, even if it was unintentional. He stayed out of the casual conversation taking place around him and much to his relief they were quickly leaving Quatre's with the spare clothing Duo requested of them. The pick-up was parked in Quatre's driveway with two dogs in the back, wagging their tails excitedly as they walked up but staying obediently in place. "This is Bruno," Duo introduced the German Shepherd, scratching under his chin. "And Sandy." Sandy was a gorgeous Golden Retriever. "They're both super friendly. You're not scared 'a dogs, are ya?" Heero eyed them warily. He wasn't really scared of dogs; he'd just never been around them much. "I'll ride in the back with 'em," Trowa volunteered and hopped up into the back of the cab. The dogs immediately converged on him, begging for affection. Although he'd never ridden in the back of a pick-up, nor did it seem the safest idea, he saw his opening to distance himself from Duo and volunteered to sit in the back with Trowa. He actually found he liked Trowa quite a bit. The man was quiet and thoughtful and suited Heero's personality well. The dogs checked him out for a moment as he settled in between the coolers and bags Duo had packed but over all they seemed to be more interested in Trowa, pressing against his legs as he lit a cigarette with long fingers. Heero certainly didn't mind the lack of attention. Duo watched Heero with uncertainty and Heero shot him a cool glare back. Duo shrugged and smiled weakly before he climbed into the driver's seat and they were off. The breeze through his hair felt good and he found a certain amount of amusement in watching the dogs pace the back of the cab, going back and forth quickly as something of interest wandering across their senses. "Duo means well," Trowa said suddenly as they slowed at a stop sign. Heero looked up at him in surprise, not expecting any stupid philosophical comments from Trowa. But then Trowa offered him a small, amused smile that put Heero at ease. Made him feel like they were sharing a joke. "But sometimes he takes things too far." Despite himself Heero smiled back. They eventually parked at a barn and Heero studied the landscape. The barn was fairly dilapidated and across the street was a better maintained house. It looked like there were once fences for cattle or some other livestock but the pastures were clearly unmaintained. "Henry's lettin' me park here for the night," Duo was explaining to Quatre as he got out of the cab. Heero sighed. He should've assumed they'd be spending the night out here with the amount of bags in the back. It was going to be an extreme exercise in patience for him. He wanted to honor his promise and try to have a good time but he also didn't want to lead Duo on any more. But damn if he didn't look sexy as hell in that red flannel with the sleeves rolled up and those tight blue jeans... But he was used to denying his urges. He could deny these too. Duo instructed them all to grab a bag and a cooler and Quatre chastised him for the amount of shit he packed as the dogs jumped out and paced the car excitedly while the humans got ready. They headed back through the fields behind the barn on some trail that Duo and Trowa seemed to know instinctively. Heero and Wufei fell in together with Quatre in front of them, excitedly eyeing everything around them. Heero knew his friend to be very into nature as he often tried to drag Heero into hiking all over upstate New York. Wufei started an easy conversation comparing and contrasting Cornell's law program offerings with his own and until the terrain made conversation too difficult, they talked about their future plans. The other man was quietly encouraging of Heero's professed change of plans, subtly up playing the impact he could have if child advocacy really was a passion of his. Heero appreciated his quiet candor and the chance to get his mind off of this week and back to his life goals. The dogs ran way far ahead and always just when Heero thought they were surely long gone he would hear a bark and they'd come bounding through the trees, circling Duo and licking his hands before inspecting every other member of the party and running off again. After a rather sweaty two hours Heero heard the familiar sound of rushing water and shortly they entered into a clearing where a rock cliff dropped off sharply and a lovely falls crashed over it. The river was wide and easily split the trees, creating a path as far as the eye could see through the forest. Duo was grinning triumphantly as he dropped his bags. The other guys followed suit and appreciated the view while the dogs greedily lapped water from the river. "Come on, 'Ro," Duo waved an arm over his head and Heero's heart twisted with apprehension. "You hafta see the view from the top." The others were watching him expectantly so he felt required to follow after Duo, even though he didn't really want to. He led Heero carefully but quickly up the rocks about fifteen feet and they walked out on stones to the edge of where the river spilled into the falls and Duo pointed out across the vista. Heero's breath caught in his throat as he stared out at the mountain panorama before him. The mountain water was so beautifully crisp and clear as it flowed downward and out into the peaks and valleys beyond. Heero felt like his soul wanted to take flight from his body and stretch with it through every nook and cranny and maybe for a minute he could understand what his grandfather meant when he said it was beautiful to be reunited with the Earth. "It's even more gorgeous in the fall," Duo spoke up over the crashing water beneath them and Heero came out of his reverie to look at the other man and was shocked to see him stripping out of his shirt. Duo was grinning at him when he noticed his expression and he threw his flannel into the trees and pulled up his sweat-soaked undershirt. The thin white material didn't leave much to the imagination to begin with but having it completely removed... Heero was vaguely horrified that he couldn't drag his eyes away from the long, lean muscles in front of him. And then Duo started on his belt. "Wait - !" Heero called desperately, rending his eyes from the vision to look down at his friends below. The dogs were barking like mad and Quatre was laughing but he thankfully wasn't looking at him. Instead, he was looking at Trowa who was down to nothing but his boxers and jumping into the pool below. Heero quickly sought out Wufei who was in the same process of stripping and although his moment of relief was quickly trumped by his realization that he was going to have to strip down too, he felt immeasurably glad that Duo wasn't merely engaging in a provocative strip tease. "Aw, come on," Duo chided. "You know it's hot as hell out here." Heero sighed and reluctantly peeled off his t-shirt. Although Duo was in the act of slipping off his pants, Heero still caught the appreciative glance Duo gave his own trim torso. The thought of Duo checking him out made his stomach turn and he struggled to fight his giddiness at the thought that Duo might like what he saw. It didn't matter, after all. When they both stood there in nothing but boxers at the top of the falls, Duo winked at him in a friendly way and waded out a bit further to a better location before jumping straight off the edge into the pool below. Heero waited for him to resurface and took a deep breath before inching out to the same place Duo stood. He watched as Duo slicked back the bangs from his face and beamed up at him, floating backwards out of the way and beckoning him to come down. So he jumped. The icy water enveloped him, shocked him with its prickly fury. He almost drew in a breath on instinct as his body impacted with its frosty ferocity. He had anticipated it to be cold, after all, it was a mountain fed stream and it was April and even despite the unseasonably warm Southern weather that water was likely cold all year round - but he didn't anticipate it to be that cold. He fought his way to the surface and gasped, fighting his bangs from his eyes as he moved forward out of range of the falls. Quatre was cheering at him from the bank and Duo was smiling and he felt a little silly to be receiving that kind of attention for such a simple thing. "It's cold," he observed when he was in range of the others and they laughed. "I'm going to set up the tent!" Quatre called and he grabbed one of the bags and wandered off away from the falls, Sandy and Bruno in tow. Heero watched after him for a minute, feeling conflicted about letting his friend go off by himself but Duo splashed him in the face with a big arc of cold water and Heero immediately snapped out of it to glare back at the braided man. "Cutie-Q hates the cold water," Duo explained. "We tricked him once and after that, never again. That kid don't forget nuthin'. He'll be okay, we've got a campsite just a short ways up from here." Heero was glad to hear there was a plan and without a spare glance for Duo he dropped back into the water and slipped forward quickly, grabbing his legs and yanking him down under as payback for his splash. They engaged in a bit of good natured rough housing before teeth started chattering and conversation was difficult anyway right below the falls so they got out after a few minutes to go help set up with Quatre. Heero and Duo both fought to maintain boundaries, as well as their straight friend's respect, as they changed into dry clothes. But now that their easy camaraderie fell back into place Heero was struggling to uphold distance, struggling to remember why he'd decided not to get close to a man he was so clearly physically and emotionally attracted to. Duo had gotten their discarded clothing and they wearily picked up their bags and traversed fifteen minutes downstream to a clearing where they met up with Quatre who had the big tent already mostly assembled. Trowa moved to help him complete it while Duo took inventory of his various bags and coolers and arranged them in a specific order. Wufei motioned for Heero to help him and they went a short way into the tree line where Heero was surprised to discover some aluminum benches hidden amongst some fallen trees. "Maxwell is nothing if not persistent," Wufei explained as he drug one out. "He found his place and after a few camping trips he became hell bent on seating. He carried these things up here all by himself one at a time over the course of a week to surprise us." Wufei shook his head with a small smile. "He's ridiculous." Wufei hoisted the squat bench over his shoulder and Heero drew out one of his own and they carried them awkwardly back through the trees to the campsite. None of the other guys were there when they got back - "Firewood," Wufei explained - and they set the benches across from each other with enough room in-between for a fire before heading back to get the remaining two. This time when they got back, the other three were just leaving after dropping off their gathered wood so Wufei and Heero hurriedly set down the benches to form a square and followed after their friends. After two more trips Duo decided they had enough wood and he started inspecting trees near the clearing and cutting off branches. Heero watched him with interest as he brought them back to the camp. Then he pulled out the alcohol. They were all fairly tipsy by the time the sun was setting and after many false starts with the fire, they'd managed to get one going. It was holding well when Duo started stripping the branches he'd cut earlier and fashioning the ends into points. Heero sat down next to him, feeling pleasantly buzzed and letting his curiosity get the better of him. "Ya want to use green wood to cook with," Duo explained as he made short work of the task, "and you want ta use somethin' non-toxic like maple." Heero nodded as he watched, fascinated by Duo's knowledge of seemingly useless things. "Have you ever cooked over a fire before?" "No," Heero answered honestly, surprised that this was something people did with any sort of frequency. "Come on man, what did you do as a kid?" Duo teased but despite his intoxicated state Heero caught the serious undertone to the question. Heero frowned and thought about it. "Cotillion, hunt seat riding, Chess Club, Debate Team, Model UN... I spent most of my summers sailing down the East coast. I'm a decent pianist as I've been playing since I was five." Duo's eyes widened and then he laughed. "Wow, okay. Yeah. I don't even know what halfa that shit is. You an' me," Duo waved a finger between them, "different worlds an' all that." Then he was up and digging through a cooler and pulling out a white paper wrapped package and buns and chips and bringing an armful of foodstuff back to the benches. The dogs immediately perked up and Duo laughed and commanded them to shoo as he made his way back. "Ohhhh, you didn't...!" Quatre exclaimed when he saw the package Duo had pulled out. "Oh yeah, I did," Duo joked and threw some chips at Quatre. "These are the best fuckin' hot dogs you'll ever have." "He goes to a butcher for them," Wufei confirmed with a nod. Duo went around the circle, handing out a stick and a hot dog, until he got to Heero. He handed him the stick, his body obscuring everyone else's view as they were sitting across from each other. Instead of handing off the hotdog for him to spear himself, he held it gently and slid it onto the stick while biting down on his lower lip, releasing it slowly from his teeth and then flicking out his tongue to stroke across his upper one. Heero blushed brilliantly and Duo chuckled, flopping down next to him on the aluminum seat. Heero buried his face in his beer can to hide his embarrassment. Duo threw the dogs their own hotdogs and helped Heero watch his hotdog so it didn't burn. As they ate Heero looked up at the stars and then back to his friends and in only four days he felt a sense of belonging with those men that he'd only ever felt with his grandfather. They sat back, full and happy, and Duo pulled out two bags of marshmallows and threw one at Trowa. Heero watched as Duo speared a few and set them over the fire. They darkened quickly and he tried to pull one off, jerking his fingers back with a laugh and kissing them. After a moment he tried again and managed to pull the melted, sticky concoction from the spear and hand it off to Heero who took it tentatively. He bit in carefully and the warm gooey sweetness filled his mouth. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched Duo enjoy the sugary confection. Duo's pleasure was always so obvious on his face. It mimicked Heero's own, though he could never show it that way. Duo licked his fingers and Heero wished he was bold enough to lean over, grab his hand, and suck the sugar from them himself... but he couldn't. No matter how strong the desire, years upon compounded years of reservation, expectation held him back. "Don't eat 'em all," Duo warned the other guys. "Ya'll want ta save sum for later..." And then he hopped up to dig something out of his bag. Heero caught the look of anticipation on Trowa's face and he looked curiously back to Duo, who was returning with a Ziploc bag. He sat back down next to Heero and whipped out a tiny cardboard box with thin sheets of paper and to Heero's fascination and horror he realized that he was rolling joints. Duo began passing them down with a lighter to the other guys. Heero was shocked to see Quatre easily light up like it was second nature. He had never even considered doing illegal drugs once in his entire life and he would never have guessed that Quatre had either. Duo must've seen his tense posturing when he turned to him and offered him one because suddenly everyone was looking at him. The scrutiny was disturbing and Heero abruptly wished he was anywhere but there. He felt stupid then for thinking he belonged with these guys because clearly he was wrong. "You've never smoked pot before, Heero?" Quatre asked when it became clear no one else was going to. Heero shook his head vehemently. "Of course not! I'm shocked that you have." Quatre blinked at the accusation, seeming a bit ashamed. "Not frequently, just, you know, when I'm home," Quatre explained self-consciously. "It's really not that big a deal." Heero looked at Wufei, surprised an academic like him would do such a thing. But Wufei just shrugged. This was clearly something they just did around here. "You don't hafta if you don't want," Duo told him kindly. "We won't judge." Then he took the lighter from Trowa. "But it is fun," he enticed with a warm smile. The word haunted Heero like a wraith. He couldn't escape it and it squeezed his heart in a vice-like grip that wouldn't let up. He watched that look of pleasure etch across Duo's face again as he drew in on the blunt and he wondered if that look had ever been achievable for him. Would it have been, in a world where she hadn't died? He found himself looking expectantly at Duo who opened his eyes and glanced askance at him before turning to face him fully. Removing the joint from his mouth he held it out toward Heero. "You do wanna try?" Heero didn't speak to that as the word 'want' was becoming difficult for him to define and so he just reached out for it tentatively, took hold of it, stared at it a moment, and held it awkwardly in his mouth before sucking in. Almost immediately he sputtered and coughed and the other four men laughed at him so he handed the joint back to Duo angrily. Duo accepted it but he smiled. "It's okay. Takes ya a while to get used to it if you've never done it before," he offered and then took another hit, drawing in deep and holding it for a minute before exhaling the smoke out slowly, the gentle tendrils floating into the sky and disappearing. He offered it back to Heero. "Try again. Draw it in slow, give your body time to get used to it, yanno?" Heero glanced back across the fire but realized the other three were all engaged in conversation and not watching him so he accepted, taking a deep breath before holding it in his mouth again and slowly, cautiously drawing in. He still coughed, but it wasn't as startling or difficult and Duo flashed him a smile as he rolled another joint for himself. After a few more tentative attempts he got the hang of it and Heero began to relax and feel more at ease with his decision. And then things started to slow down drastically. The fire fascinated him as he stared at it dancing and sparking up into the sky. He wondered if she danced like that, her spirit streaking across the Earth like a shooting star. He realized as he stared across the fire that Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were talking and he could hardly keep up with what they were saying. It bothered him immensely that he couldn't think of anything to add to their conversation. He felt like his brain was moving through molasses as he tried to think of something to say but then, after who knows how long, he realized with starling clarity that he didn't have to say anything and no one would notice. He never said anything in social situations to begin with. This was no different. It struck him as funny that he'd forgotten that about himself and he started laughing uncontrollably. He could hardly breathe as the harder he laughed, the harder it made him laugh and the vicious cycle left him dragging in deep breaths between pitiful, painful, shuddering laughter. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned towards it, his eyes blurred with tears as he met Duo's smiling face. "Are you okay?" he asked and suddenly Heero was noticing every little feature about Duo's face. The slight upturned curve of his nose, the light freckles across his cheeks, the way the firelight danced across his face and landed in his eyes, reflecting and refracting across those glassy orbs until they shone beautifully. And his lips... how they curved upward, full and pink and soft, they looked so soft, and Heero knew how soft they were since he'd kissed them twice before. And the drive to kiss them again overwhelmed him so suddenly he leaned forward on the seat and pressed his own lips against those soft, soft, soft ones on the body he'd admired since the moment he saw it. The feeling of Duo's hand running through his hair and pulling him closer sent a thrill through him like he'd never felt before. He moaned and Duo opened his mouth in return, slipping his tongue in and the sensation was more than Heero could bear. His body trembled and he lifted a hand to the back of Duo's neck, bringing him closer, so close the kiss was almost painful as their noses pressed together. But they both stopped suddenly when they realized their friends were watching the desperate display and heard their laughter ringing out across the campsite. They fell apart from each other, embarrassed, and Heero drew on the last bit of his blunt, the hit soothing him in the awkward situation. "I knew it!" Quatre gasped triumphantly, eyes shining with mirth as he pointed an accusing finger across the fire at him. "I knew you liked him!" "Shut up Cutie-Q!" Duo shot back with a bashful grin as he rolled another blunt. "Eat some goddamned marshmallows or sumthin'!" That threw the other three into more raucous laughter and Duo lit the fresh blunt and drew in on it. "Hey," he breathed smoke around the word and caught Heero's attention before grabbing his own bag of marshmallows and flopping off the bench, falling backward onto the grass and scooching himself on his back until he could comfortably rest his feet on the foot-high seat. He patted the ground next to him and wiggled his eyebrows coyly and Heero felt suddenly shy. He scooted over on the bench until he was in position and then imitated Duo's fall, moving his elbows under him until he was lying next to Duo, their shoulders touching. Duo offered him the joint and Heero accepted, the pleasant buzz making him smile goofily. As he handed it back his eyes met Duo's. "I'm so happy," Heero whispered, feeling silly and a little scared. Like if he dared admit it some terrible spirit would come and steal it all away from him. "Good. I want you to be happy." Duo smiled back before he reached into the bag of marshmallows and shoved one in Heero's mouth. The consistency was peculiar and the sugar felt weird on his teeth and the whole thing made him smile as he chewed. He reached for another as he stared up at the stars. Duo handed him two more and he chomped on another one thoughtfully. "Do you know the constellations?" he asked, but with a mouthful of marshmallow it came out more like "Doof yo knof the consahhallashuns?" and Duo turned his head to meet Heero's eyes with a laugh. "Swallow, 'Ro, ya gotta swallow." They both burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles when they realized just what Duo had said. Once they managed to calm down enough they shared another hit and Heero pointed at the sky. "Do you know the constellations?" "Uh, yeah, I can find the big dipper," Duo replied and shifted his head so that it rested against Heero's. "There," Heero pointed it out and Duo nodded. "The big dipper is just part of Ursa Major, the Great Bear," he explained, the words he'd heard so often easily repeated, pouring out of him in a gentle, reverential voice. "The handle of the dipper is the bear's tail. And there, that star, two across from the rim of the dipper is Muscida, that's the bear's head. Straight down from there you can find Talitha and it marks the bear's front paws. The back paws are both marked by a set of stars, Tania Borealis and Tania Australis, there, and Aula Borealis and Aula Australis, there." Duo nodded again as he drew on the blunt, the smoke he breathed out obscuring the sky for a moment and Heero reached out for another hit, never wanting to lose that moment and how wonderful it felt. "What else is up there?" Duo asked as Heero handed the blunt back. Then he felt Duo's fingers searching out for his own and he reached to meet them, twisting them together, locking their digits in a warm embrace. "A lot," Heero answered simply and suddenly neither of them felt much like talking. He felt very small then, very small and insignificant and it made him a little sad that when faced with his own definitive irrelevance he was forced to realize he'd done nothing, had nothing, felt nothing. The least he could do was have one meaningful moment of self-actualization, one moment of selfish desire, one genuine feeling of joy before he ceased to exist and the planet spun on without him. "Hey," Duo brought him back and he turned his head to meet Duo's eyes again, their noses so close they brushed against one another. He felt Duo wanted to say something but he didn't speak, he just stared, and Heero listened to the beating of his own heart in his ears and the fire popping in the distance and Trowa reciting off textbook definitions of HVAC equipment as Quatre laughed gleefully and he waited to hear whatever it was Duo wanted to say. But the words never came and instead his lips were put to use kissing Heero thoroughly, languidly, sloppily, slowly. Duo's teeth nipped his lower lip and his tongue stroked along it afterwards and eased apart Heero's lips until it teased its way inside and divulged all of his secrets. ~ * ~ tbc... |
