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"The Annotated Duo "Written By: Asymphototropic
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing. Author: Asymphototropic (attracted toward the
light, but never quite arrives there) Email: asymphototropic@aol.com Rating: R Warnings: Preventers, slight lime Summary: Convalescing together, the guys may need a Thesaurus. Pairings: 1+2+5+6 Authors Notes: We were on a long car trip, and entertaining ourselves with online computer-style mistranslations of slang, generating some of these results.
"The Annotated Duo "
"How long is this going to last?" Chang nodded toward the subject of their interest, while absently fingering the bulky burn dressing on his hand. "Oh, I'm pretty sure it's a temporary condition," Sally Po replied soothingly, but with a devilish twinkle in her eye. Merquise shifted one crutch to a more comfortable position, trying not to snag a strand of his glistening hair between the support and his armpit. "Well, that's encouraging," he smiled. Heero Yuy wriggled his arm in its shiny blue sling, disgruntled at the recent suggestion from one of the desk clerks, that the device had been chosen because the color matched his eyes so well. "Hn," he added succinctly, as his attention focused again on Duo Maxwell. They were all staring at Maxwell, who sat squirming on the examining table as Sally poked and prodded him with extreme interest. "In the neuro consultant's opinion, Maxwell, you are one for the textbooks," Po divulged. Duo had given her permission to discuss his case in front of the other agents, since they were all temporarily living together in Merquise's large apartment. And turning their mutual convalescence leave into a full-time bachelors' party, as far as the good doctor could discern. For a bunch of trauma cases, they were all remarkably cheerful. She rather envied them their camaraderie. Maybe she could urge them into hosting a keg bash, as soon as she cleared Maxwell from his currently prescribed ethanol abstinence. "I'll spare you the extreme medical details," Po said, at which Chang and Yuy looked disappointed, and Merquise and Maxwell, relieved. "And just summarize. It is very unusual to injure a brain area that affects only casual speech, while sparing other regions of speech control. The neurologist feels that your childhood on L2 is partially to blame for these symptoms. Most infants develop language skills based upon their parents' speech patterns. Which generally become the foundations of future speech patterns, although they can be altered to suit changing environments, such as learning foreign languages, for example. Whereas you learned to speak while living on the streets. Therefore developing speech patterns that are unusually malleable, since you grew up hearing and copying a variety of slang. Jargon is something that shifts constantly, quite subject to stylish modes. The neurologist feels that, in your case, the neural area that controls slang is larger than most patients', and more intrinsic to your ability to form sentences." "The long and the short of it is?" Merquise raised one platinum eyebrow quizzically. "As Maxwell physically recovers, his speech will eventually return to normal function." "But in the meantime?" Chang prompted. "In the meantime, Duo Puzzle is more fun than the Times' Sunday crossword," Sally nudged Duo, who blushed and grinned back at her. She had her hand buried in his bangs. "I don't think the scarring will damage the cosmetic appearance of your hairline," she added as she applied a new dressing to the healing scalp wound. "Nothing but good news today." "The almighty braid is spared a fate worse than death," Zechs quipped, evoking an eye rolling bout from both of their Asian roommates simultaneously. "How are you feeling?" the doctor continued. An expression of extreme concentration graced Maxwell's features. The snub nose wrinkled, a damp pink tongue tip protruded slightly between his lips as he composed his answer. "Entirety positive," Duo stammered. ("It's all good," Heero translated.) "Still bothered by dizzy spells?" Sally asked. "Negligible in prior contrast," Duo muttered hesitantly. ("Not so bad as before," Wufei suggested.) "Any more problems with headaches?" Duo opted merely to shake his head "no". Zechs, who had opened his mouth in anticipation of his turn as translator, closed his jaws with an audible snap. "Excellent," Sally patted Duo affectionately on the shoulder. "Then, if nobody has any other issues to address, carry on. I'll see you all again, same time next week." Maxwell eagerly sprang from the gurney, only to overbalance. As he stumbled a step, both Chang and Yuy darted forward, nearly felling each other in their haste to catch him. "Instructed contrary to bovine possession," Duo growled at the two. ("Don't have a cow," Zechs promptly explained.) "Good one," Sally chuckled. The foxy foursome left the clinic area, drawing many a covert glance from the ladies, in admiration of the retreating physiques. "Transport?" Chang asked the group. "Cafeteria," Yuy countered. "Judging by the echoing sounds of Maxwell's stomach, he might swoon from hunger any minute now. And then we'd be mobbed by females." "Masticate my substance," Duo smirked. ("Bite me!" Chang informed Yuy on Maxwell's behalf.) They arrived at the Preventers' cafeteria just in time for noon rush hour. By now, the details of their last violent mission had made transit all the way around the gossip grapevine, so nobody was surprised by the appearance of the walking wounded. Congratulatory nods, smiles and friendly inquiries greeted the recuperating agents. They settled Zechs at one of the few empty tables and propped his cast on a spare chair. "Maxwell, why don't you keep Merquise company?" Chang suggested. "Yuy and I can manage." Duo eyed his friends, who had only two uninjured hands between them, and harrumphed. "Offer interruption," he groaned. ("Give me a break!" Yuy translated.) "I'll take anything but their obscure carnivorous serving," Zechs told them. ("Mystery meat," Chang interpreted.) "Hades, now you've got me doing it," Merquise elbowed Maxwell, who chuckled wickedly in response. After lunch, they requested a motor pool assist. Their status had been upgraded by Po, from ambulance ride to regular transport. It was an appreciated improvement, although none of them was allowed to drive yet. Chang, Yuy and Merquise were precluded because of insufficient able limbs, and Maxwell, for fear he might black out behind the wheel. The chief problem with the Preventers chauffeurs, however, was that they all were friends with Duo. And every single one seemed determined to chat with the L2 Kid. The trip to the apartment strained Duo's nerves. As he attempted to keep up his end of the conversation with the driver, Maxwell's fists alternately clenched and drooped. "No sooner does Wersky get his bike out of the shop, but he wraps it around a power pole." Duo shook his head mournfully. "Fibrous fortune," he intoned hoarsely. ("Tough luck," Yuy supplied reflexively.) "Uh huh," the driver agreed, eyes on the road. Duo cleared his throat. "Wreckage summed?" ("Was it totaled?" Chang offered.) "Naw. But its gonna cost more than a paycheck for repairs, this time around. The lucky bastard did walk away from it, though, which is something. You heard the news about Spenner, I guess?" "Possessing novel hen offspring," Duo nodded. ("Got him a new chick," came from Zechs' mouth spontaneously.) "More than that." Maxwell looked astonished. "Briefly percussed interrogative?" ("He popped the question already?" Zechs chuckled at the three of them, playing the Greek chorus for Duo.) "You got it in one. Hard to imagine Spenner, hooked and hitched, eh? There'll be hardly a bachelor left in the poker pool." "Plummet approximates airborne insects." ("They're dropping like flies.) "Right you are, Kid. Well, here's your place. Take it easy guys. See you next time."
From the beginning, Chang and Yuy had agreed with Merquise that the group would teetotal while Duo was medically compelled to abstain from alcohol. They figured it would be easier on the Kid if he wasn't confronted with temptation. The looks of approval from the others at Zechs' suggestion had seemed more than adequate recompense for missed wine and brandy. The united front felt good to them all, it seemed They sprawled in relieved postures around the living room, mentally scoring another week checked off the recovery calendar. Maxwell groaned. "Headache?" Chang asked. "That's the first in a while," Yuy looked concerned. "Negligible large bargain," Maxwell shrugged. ("No big deal.") "Come here. Take off your shirt and I'll give you a rub down," Zechs patted the adjacent sofa cushion. Duo settled beside him, and soon was melting as strong hands kneaded his bared neck and shoulders. "Just tension?" Yuy stooped next to them. "Mm hm," Duo agreed, head lolling forward. "Desire conclusion departure," he muttered. "You want to quit and leave?" Chang crouched beside him, placing a hand on Duo's knee. "Don't even think about it." "Simplification." "Listen to me, Mr Run and Hide Maxwell. You can't leave us," Yuy tugged on the braid. "Who would we get to tie our shoes?" Chang protested. "Not to mention fastening our neckties," Yuy added. "Besides. Competent interpreter services are so difficult to find these days," Merquise offered in his best aristocratic drawl. "Especially those with fringe benefits," Heero suddenly stuck his tongue into Duo's ear. "Think of the perks," Zechs nibbled at the back of Duo's neck. Chang ran his good hand up Duo's thigh and squeezed. "Exactly." Maxwell grinned. "Indicated male comrades rate positive superlative." ("You guys are the best." Wufei translated.) "Obtained declaration correct," Heero stated triumphantly. ("Ya got that right!" Zechs concluded).
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